A Stoners Complete Guide To Saliva Drug Testing 101

MJgotmebydaBals · 04-15-2006, 07:40 PM

My Very First Saliva Test:

About a three days ago I had my interview for a job @ Costco where they informed me that they would be screening any of my specimen's of choice for illegal substances. I luckily new someone who had just recently had to take a saliva test for the job and she assures me that I will also be taking a saliva test within the next week or so. Im completely new at this whole saliva test thing but I figure I can try all the shit out on the market and go through any tips I find here on the site and let all of you know whether or not I pass or fail.

So if any of you have any relevant experience in this field or know anything about saliva testing please reply to this thread and I will do my part in a tracking down the results and procedures throughout the ordeal. I have about five days or so to pass this test and I am smoking today. The clock starts now....lets hear some feed back!!!!!

1tokeovertheline · 04-15-2006, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJgotmebydaBals

What up everybody. THis site is the shit and its because of progressive potheads like yourselves that I've been able to continue using marijuana without any failed testing. So now Im giving back and posting some info on a couple of my drug test experiences and post the results with them as well so we can fine tune what we know about these Federal invasions of privacy.

First Off:
THC is NOT liquid soluble! Drinking large amounts of water, wheatgrass, green tea, cranberry juice only minimizes the chances of detection minimally.
It is stored in your fat cells and the best way to help shed the toxins is exercising and burining away the cals on a treadmill. (sucks doesnt it)

Dont fool yourselves, Ive failed drug tests after being sober for longer than a month. It all depends on how much you have smoked, and how recently.

FUCK TASC.

REMEMBER! We are in a whole new age now fellow smokers. Our marijuana is 100 times more potent than what used to be smoked back in the 70's! This means larger amounts of THC is stored in your body and may have longer detection time.

Necessary Precautions:
I am always using different times of vitamins and pharmaceuticals to continuously cleanse my system in an attempt to descrease the build up of THC in my fat cells. You should to.

1) Niacin - detoxifys the blood stream. Literally burns out some of the THC out of your system. I recomend no more than 250-500mg a day. (Youll turn bright red if you take too much)

2) Detoxify's Constant Cleanse Capsules - These work great. Its a variety of natural multivitamins formulated to help collect and excrete bodily toxins. Constant Cleanse will completely flush your system of THC within 2-3 weeks. But some of us don't have that long.

3) Detoxify's Pre-Cleanse Capsules - Help collect all toxins in the body before flushing them out of the system. Take the night before a test.

4) Vitamin B-100's - Good source of B vitamins that dye the urine and intestinal tract resulting in healthy, non diluted urine (in case inspected for color before submitted to a lab).

5) Creatine - Any source of creatine is good. Red meat is a great choice for a natural supplement of creatine. Creatine assists in flushing the body of its toxins and dyes the urine.

* All of these supplements I found at your local pharmacy and local headshops(trails)*

Solutions for Passing a Urine Test:

STOP SMOKING ! (lol jk jk)

Detoxify X-Extra Clean - This is an immediate seven hour detox drink thats used one hour before a urine test. Chemicals in the drink block the liver and kidneys from secreting any toxins into the bloodstream/urine and produces a clean test result. MUST BE SOBER FOR 72 HOURS PRIOR TEST!

* This shit works people. Read the directions, do it right, wait 72 hours and you are good to pass any TASC certified lab test in the country.

XTreme 10 Minute Rapid Detox Pill - HERE IS WHERE IT IS AT! 200% guarenteed to pass a urine test. This pill is an immediate detox and produces clean urine for up to four hours. Taking this ONE SMALL PILL is like drinking three X-Extra Clean Detox Drinks and requires NO SOBER WAITING PERIOD.

* This is the best you can find for urine tests everybody. I have smoked the NIGHT BEFORE and have passed the test the next day on more than one occasion. Its worth $40 if you really want to pass the test. Take it from me...this pill is legit.
drugtest-solutions.com/xtreme_softgel.htm!!!!!

From here up belongs on the urine testing forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJgotmebydaBals

My Very First Saliva Test:

About a three days ago I had my interview for a job @ Costco where they informed me that they would be screening any of my specimen's of choice for illegal substances. I luckily new someone who had just recently had to take a saliva test for the job and she assures me that I will also be taking a saliva test within the next week or so. Im completely new at this whole saliva test thing but I figure I can try all the shit out on the market and go through any tips I find here on the site and let all of you know whether or not I pass or fail.

So if any of you have any relevant experience in this field or know anything about saliva testing please reply to this thread and I will do my part in a tracking down the results and procedures throughout the ordeal. I have about five days or so to pass this test and I am smoking today. The clock starts now....lets hear some feed back!!!!!

This may come as a surprise, but not everyone on this site is a pothead. As a matter of fact, some don't even smoke pot

Retracted my answer because you are in high school and claim you are 19. (I doubt it) You also are PROBABLY TRYING TO DECEIVE YOUR PARENTS. I will not provide you with answers.

Buzzby · 04-15-2006, 09:28 PM

Interesting mix of information, misinformation, sales pitch, and contradictions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJgotmebydaBals

THC is NOT liquid soluble!

THC is not water soluble. It's plenty soluble in oils, alcohols, and other organic solvents.

Quote:

Drinking large amounts of water, wheatgrass, green tea, cranberry juice only minimizes the chances of detection minimally.

Drinking more than the amount necessary for good hydration for weeks prior to a test isn't going to do you much good but drinking the correct large quantity immediately prior to a test is part of every good dilution protocol and every phony "detox" product.

All of these products work by dilution. They do not convert THC metabolites into something that can't be detected, as they'd like you to believe. They do not remove THC metabolites from your body. Only time and fat-burning exercise can do that. You can duplicate the actions of these products for a fraction of the price by following the guidelines in these links:

Dilution and aspirin-- the technique

DILUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines from N2

Because they work by dilution, detox drinks can fail if the concentration of THC metabolites is too high. Drinking a lot of fluids makes you pee a lot, reducing the concentration of THC metabolites in your blood. They'll be restored from that stored in fatty tissue but eventually they'll all leach out if you don't smoke. Drinking a reasonable amount of fluids shortly before your test will dilute your urine, lowering the concentration of THC metabolites. Urine tests look at the concentration (ng/ml) of THC metabolites, so by adding water and reducing the concentration you can pass a test. If you dilute too much it will spoil the test and you'll be retested or failed. The aspects of dilution techniques other than drinking fluids are to make dilute urine appear to be less dilute. At high concentrations of THC metabolites it is not possible to dilute enough without diluting too much.

Quote:

REMEMBER! We are in a whole new age now fellow smokers. Our marijuana is 100 times more potent than what used to be smoked back in the 70's!

Wow! The stuff I smoked back in the late 60s/early 70s was around 3-4% THC. That means today's weed must be 300-400% THC! Growers are using 11-dimensional math to accomplish this seemingly impossible task.

Quote:

1) Niacin - detoxifys the blood stream. Literally burns out some of the THC out of your system. I recomend no more than 250-500mg a day. (Youll turn bright red if you take too much)

A total myth. Niacin does nothing to "burn out" THC from your system.

Quote:

2) Detoxify's Constant Cleanse Capsules - These work great. Its a variety of natural multivitamins formulated to help collect and excrete bodily toxins.

Sales pitch? Nothing removes THC metabolites from your system other than time and fat burning exercise.

Quote:

Constant Cleanse will completely flush your system of THC within 2-3 weeks. But some of us don't have that long.

THC metabolites have a half-life that averages 36 hours in the human body. In three weeks your body would eliminate 99.4% of its THC metabolite load without doing anything. In two weeks it would eliminate 80% of its THC metabolite load.

Quote:

3) Detoxify's Pre-Cleanse Capsules - Help collect all toxins in the body before flushing them out of the system. Take the night before a test.

Another sales pitch? Nothing removes THC metabolites from your body other than time and fat-burning exercise.

Quote:

4) Vitamin B-100's - Good source of B vitamins that dye the urine and intestinal tract resulting in healthy, non diluted urine (in case inspected for color before submitted to a lab).

True! The important one is the B2, but a balanced B-Complex is better for you. Take one or two a few hours before the test.

Quote:

5) Creatine - Any source of creatine is good. Red meat is a great choice for a natural supplement of creatine. Creatine assists in flushing the body of its toxins and dyes the urine.

True!

Quote:

Detoxify X-Extra Clean - This is an immediate seven hour detox drink thats used one hour before a urine test. Chemicals in the drink block the liver and kidneys from secreting any toxins into the bloodstream/urine and produces a clean test result. MUST BE SOBER FOR 72 HOURS PRIOR TEST!

Total BS.

Quote:

XTreme 10 Minute Rapid Detox Pill - HERE IS WHERE IT IS AT! 200% guarenteed to pass a urine test. This pill is an immediate detox and produces clean urine for up to four hours. Taking this ONE SMALL PILL is like drinking three X-Extra Clean Detox Drinks and requires NO SOBER WAITING PERIOD.

Total BS.

Quote:

This is the best you can find for urine tests everybody. I have smoked the NIGHT BEFORE and have passed the test the next day on more than one occasion. Its worth $40 if you really want to pass the test. Take it from me...this pill is legit.
http://www.bullshit-solutions.com/xtreme_softgel.htm

This is what we call the "blow off". The thing to which everything else is only a preamble. This is where they really rip you off.

Quote:

So if any of you have any relevant experience in this field or know anything about saliva testing please reply to this thread and I will do my part in a tracking down the results and procedures throughout the ordeal. I have about five days or so to pass this test and I am smoking today. The clock starts now....lets hear some feed back!!!!!

Take a look at this forum. Saliva tests have a detection window of 14-48 hours, depending on which "expert" you talk to. Toothbrushing and mouthwash shortly before the test will help.

1tokeovertheline · 04-15-2006, 09:33 PM

I just got done editing my reply and found out this kid is 19 (maybe) and still in high school.Must be deceiving his parents if still in high school. I won't be replying to him again. You in a round about way

got it right. He has all the answers anyway and doesn't need our help. Typical post from a MINOR.

***Sec*** · 04-16-2006, 01:35 AM

This kid might be 19 years old, but belongs in high school. He/she still has a lot to learn.

We should just let him/her waste all that big money he/she will make from that minimum wage, part time job at Costco on all that magic detox crap. That way, there will be no money left to purchase his/her weed.

1tokeovertheline · 04-16-2006, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sec3

This kid might be 19 years old, but belongs in high school. He/she still has a lot to learn.

We should just let him/her waste all that big money he/she will make from that minimum wage, part time job at Costco on all that magic detox crap. That way, there will be no money left to purchase his/her weed.

I said I wouldn't reply to him. Well I said "him" because of the name, but maybe not

sec3 I am replying to you and all I got to say is "GOOD ONE"

04-15-2006, 07:40 PM	#1
MJgotmebydaBals New Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 2 Grams: 1,773.10 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	A Stoners Complete Guide To Saliva Drug Testing 101 My Very First Saliva Test: About a three days ago I had my interview for a job @ Costco where they informed me that they would be screening any of my specimen's of choice for illegal substances. I luckily new someone who had just recently had to take a saliva test for the job and she assures me that I will also be taking a saliva test within the next week or so. Im completely new at this whole saliva test thing but I figure I can try all the shit out on the market and go through any tips I find here on the site and let all of you know whether or not I pass or fail. So if any of you have any relevant experience in this field or know anything about saliva testing please reply to this thread and I will do my part in a tracking down the results and procedures throughout the ordeal. I have about five days or so to pass this test and I am smoking today. The clock starts now....lets hear some feed back!!!!!

04-15-2006, 09:33 PM	#4
1tokeovertheline Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 6,955 Grams: 7,430.80 Thanks: 4,437 Thanked 2,278 Times in 684 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Buzzby Good Reply I just got done editing my reply and found out this kid is 19 (maybe) and still in high school.Must be deceiving his parents if still in high school. I won't be replying to him again. You in a round about way got it right. He has all the answers anyway and doesn't need our help. Typical post from a MINOR.

04-16-2006, 01:35 AM	#5
*Sec* Asst. Administrator Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 7,921 Thanks: 1,166 Thanked 2,615 Times in 1,648 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	This kid might be 19 years old, but belongs in high school. He/she still has a lot to learn. We should just let him/her waste all that big money he/she will make from that minimum wage, part time job at Costco on all that magic detox crap. That way, there will be no money left to purchase his/her weed. __________________ Guidelines. Search http://www.marijuana.com/drug-test/index

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

New To Site?	Need Help?
Advertising Register to Participate View Forum Leaders Contact Us	Frequently Asked Questions Did you forget your password? Mark Forums Read

Hot Products:

Orange Krush - Legal Bud

Black Magic Solid Smokes

Vapir One Vaporizer