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Colt45420

I don't own this book, but my friend was reading some of it last night and let me look through it. I think it'd be the funniest book I'd ever read in my entire life. Here is the synopsis on the back cover:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world.

There's an entire chapter just on blow jobs. Here's one of the stories:

The Phantom Menace

One time when I was visiting some friends and family in DC, I went out drinking and ended up going home with a girl. I’ll be honest: this girl was not attractive. But she was into me, and she was there, and perhaps most importantly--she just gave off a blowjob vibe. You know the type; they aren’t good looking or exceptional in any way, but they just give off a look that says "I suck dick like I made it up.’

I was pretty drunk when we got back to her place, but that didn’t seem to faze her. We didn’t even make it to the bedroom. She grabbed me right as we came in the door, undid my pants as she pushed me onto her white sofa and knelt on the ground in front of me, working me right there in her living room.

My god was I right: She blew me away, literally and figuratively. She must have spent at least 20 minutes fellating me, never once taking her mouth off my penis, slurping at the exact right moments in the exact right places. She was so good my ankles even started sweating. God bless whoever taught her.

As soon as she finished, she went to the bathroom to wash out her mouth (she’s one of those), and I stood up to rifle through my pants pocket and get a condom when I saw the sofa: there was a HUGE skid mark prominently displayed on her WHITE sofa.

I laughed at first. Then I remembered that she drove me to her place…and she lived a good 30 minutes away from where I was staying. As the thought of having to hitchhike 45 miles walked through my mind, she appeared out of the bathroom. Fuck.

Thinking fast, I put my pants on the sofa and romantically whisked her into her bedroom, where I had to fuck her at least 3 or 4 times to get to go to sleep. Once she was safely out, I snuck out of her room and flipped the cushion.

I wonder if she ever found that stain.

I want this book more than anything.

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ADIDAS

Hahhaah that sounds awesome. Is this available in bookstores? Author?

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Colt45420

The author's name is Tucker Max.

I'm not sure if it's on bookstores... I was gunna go to Borders today and find out.