Pre-Employment for IBM

Discussion in 'Urine Testing' started by Greenbud, Jul 22, 2004.

  1. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Oh boy...

    After working at my current job for a few months and NOT applying for other jobs, IBM decided to pull my resume and called me this morning out of the blue. I did a phone interview and they want me to start working for them in about 2 weeks (I need to give my current employer notice). I know they will be giving me a drug screen within the next week, but I don't know what (urine and/or hair - they didn't say). Does anyone have any experience with drug testing with IBM?

    I have been smoking like a fiend for the past few weeks, nearly every night, so I've decided to substitute using Da Dornta's method (dog urine). I've also picked up the macCujo thread on the vinegar, Clean and Clear, Tide and Aloe Rid method for hair testing. I'll let everyone know how this works.
  2. melanotaenia

    melanotaenia Seasoned Activist

    Hey there Greenbud, I am going to go out on a limb here and say they are most likely going to give you a urine test only. The dog urine is a good idea, though I would try to get a sample from a human if you possibly can, or consider some QuickFix off the internet, it works just as well. The temperature of course, is of the essence.

    Cheers to you and good luck Greenbud
  3. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Cool. I appreciate it, Mel. I have a good sub method planned that involves a 3 oz bottle, fresh dog urine, and a certain bodily orifice. I shouldn't have a problem with the temp.

    Alas, I have no "clean" friends who could spare some urine for me, and because of my build and metabolism, I doubt I'd be able to detox myself in time, barring some sort of miracle. And I'm a little too wary of dilution techniques.

    The more I think about planning this, the less worried I am. As long as I don't do something really stupid, I should be able to pull this off. I'll keep everyone posted on the results. :D
  4. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Well, I didn't hear back from IBM for a while, but today I just had my formal interview and to make a long story short, I got the job! However, nothing was said to me about performing a drug test; only the criminal background check was mentioned (no problem passing that). I did sign a form to give my consent for a urine and/or blood test, and submit to possible random testing if necessary, though (sucks).

    As I have abstained from smoking for several days, I am not too worried about a potential blood test. However, I am still planning on using the dog urine/2oz bottle sub method. I did a dry run today and was not impressed with the results. :( I collected a fresh sample from my dog (temp 101.3), poured it into an empty, clean 2oz contact (eye) solution bottle with a squirt tip, let the bottle sit in hot tap water for about 15 min, then inserted. I then put on two pairs of undergarments, a pad, and my slacks. I wore this to the interview since I didn't know if the test would take place there or not (I wasn't going to ask and then seem suspicious). In all, I had it in for about 2 hours (yikes!). Not extremely comfortable, I can tell you. Anyway, the test wasn't done, so I went home, removed the bottle (didn't leak!) and squirted the urine into a cup and took the temp. 93.5. That sucks.

    Now that I've read a few other threads, I see that squirting the urine in a thin stream can cool it faster (yeah, that would make sense). Unfortunately, if I remove the tip permanently from the bottle, the screw-on cap will leak. I have to remove the tip to fill and clean the bottle, but removing it is a bit*h. Otherwise, this bottle is the perfect size and shape for the type of concealment I am using.

    Now that I'm positive the test will be announced, I've considered putting the bottle into an insulated travel mug with hot water, then inserting while in the parking lot at the facility. If I can keep the temp high enough long enough, hopefully it will offset the temp change when I squirt it out of the bottle into the sample cup. I don't know what day the test will be done, but as soon as I attempt this I will post back and let everyone know my results.
  5. drdoug99

    drdoug99 New Member

    man, the things people will do for a job :D

    when i had my test at LabCorp, I BELIEVE that the temps had to be 90 degrees or 93.5 might be accepable.

    dog urine the same as people urine? i would assume they could tell the difference if any.

    what kind of job is it? never heard of this IBM before, must be pretty small ;)
  6. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Desperate times call for desperate measures. ;)

    From what I understand, 93.5 degrees is far too low, considering that normal urine exiting the body is 98.6 or thereabouts.

    Actually, there have been a couple of members on this forum who have subbed w/ dog urine and passed. AND, I found out recently that my best friend's old boyfriend used to sub w/ dog urine all of the time and always passed (he was a HUGE pothead, among other things).

    You ARE kidding, right?
  7. Yesca

    Yesca New Member


    I believe there is an allowable temp range for urine samples, like 90-100 degrees Fahrenheit. They have to allow for cooling, even for the short time from when you go to when you give them the sample, and, contrary to popular myth, not everyones body temp is exactly 98.6 degrees all the time.

    That's how it is for DOT tests, anyway.
  8. ThugLife469

    ThugLife469 New Member

    ah piss tests

    When I took a piss test for my last job they had me pee in to a cup that had the temp gauge on the of it. If my sober (at the time) mind can think clearly the temp read from 93 to 100 F.


  9. Tupelo2toke

    Tupelo2toke New Member

    Don't laugh, it's just a question that has been burning in my mind. How do you get a dog to pee in a cup? My dog wouldn't be quite so cooperative.
  10. melanotaenia

    melanotaenia Seasoned Activist

    patience, patience, and again, more patience :)
  11. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Not hard...walk your dog on a leash. When he/she goes, catch it in a large plastic container. Try to get as much as you can. Put the lid on and use immediately or refrigerate. I've collected thousands of samples this way in the vet clinic.

    My dog (lab) can produce quite a bit, more than enough for a drug test.

    Oh, and by the worked! I passed! I start my job next week!!!! Now, if you will excuse me, I'm taking my best friend out for a well deserved romp in the park and a steak dinner!
  12. melanotaenia

    melanotaenia Seasoned Activist

    I cannot tell you how funny it is that you can pass a urine test for humans using dog urine; this just points to how inaccurate this process really is, and all the ways you can get around the tests.

  13. Greenbud

    Greenbud Activist

    Here's the nitty gritty on dog urine vs. human urine and the validity test:

    Normal values

    Human urine:

    PH: 4.5-8.0
    Specific Gravity: 1.003-1.030
    Creatinine: 25-400 mg/dl

    Dog Urine:

    PH: 6-8
    Specific Gravity: 1.013-1.030
    Creatinine: 0.5-1.5 mg/dl

    In retrospect:
    The only problem with using dog urine is the fact that the creatinine levels are way too low in dog urine. I can't explain why I still passed (I didn't run a urinalysis on my dog beforehand, but she's healthy). I know that a lot of testing facilities look at BOTH the SG and the creatinine levels and if they are both out of whack then the sample is determined to be either diluted or substituted. Apparently the SG of my dog's urine is within normal ranges, so the sample passed. Also, I mentioned conversationally to the test administrator that I was in the "ketosis" phase of the Atkin's diet (which basically can throw your blood and urine values off as though you were diabetic, but I didn't tell her that ;) ) and was bragging about how much weight I had lost. She did make a note about the diet on my paperwork.

    From Workplace Resource Center:
    This is a tricky way of passing a drug test, and frankly, I'm damn lucky that I did. Dog urine is frequently higher in SG than human urine (at least in my experience in the lab) so do be aware that this method will not always work. I took a gamble and won this time, but next time I may not be so lucky.

    Best of luck to all of you test takers out there!
  14. Bitemenancy

    Bitemenancy New Member

    Sorry to bring up a year old thread- but does anyone have any up to date information on this method?? i.e. have the testing procedures revealed any new problems with this?
    I have a same sex dog the same age (in dog years), and I have creatine on hand that I could possibly slip to her if need be. But as I am a vegan anyway I might just decide to skip that.

    Test tomorrow am and not a clean friend to be found.
    I have been to every head shop in town and no one has anything synthetic and the test is too early for next day delivery.

    I'm practicing warming water in my nether regions right now... :eek:

    Edit: The test is a pre-employment screen
  15. IamN2pot

    IamN2pot Seasoned Activist

    The young child of a fellow toker is a good source. N2
  16. billyjobob

    billyjobob New Member

    Sorry to BUMP a thread that's almost a decade old - but I have questions about different scenario regarding IBM hiring. A company my buddy works for just got acquired by IBM. There's been no mention of a drug screening, even though they use the standard documentation requiring a drug-free workplace - plus they can test if an employee is suspected of drug use.
    Some people say they've stopped drug screening altogether, some say they still use urinalysis. So he's playing it safe, and has been clean for a few weeks or more - but the acquisition process is so drawn out.
    Any idea when they would a company would actually request a test in that scenario?

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