Quick Fix & Quest Diagnostics: Some Reassuring Tips

Discussion in 'Urine Testing' started by jbob, Apr 2, 2013.

  1. jbob

    jbob New Member

    Hi Everyone,

    I wanted to share my experience with Quick Fix at Quest Diagnostics in Northern California. For starters, it works. I had a pre-employment screening two Mondays ago, and I started work yesterday. Just know everything I'm about to say is with respect to an UNOBSERVED, PRE-EMPLOYMENT screening, w/ no physical, at QUEST DIAGNOSTICS, with QUICK FIX. If you have to take your test at the same time as a physical, if you'll be observed, you're going somewhere other than Quest Diagnostics, using something other than Quick Fix, or if any procedures are followed differently than DOT prescribes, some of this may apply, but it may not.

    Step 1: Be proactive. If you think you MIGHT have to take a drug screen in the near future,e.g., you're looking for a job or have an over-zealous, constitution hating boss that likes to pop randoms, etc., just buy some Quick Fix and keep it. If you buy direct from their website (www.urinluck.com), you can be sure you're receiving the latest batch (plus you can check back for details of recalls, etc.). Get the big version. It's not much more expensive and allows you to provide more sample than required. It's less suspicious, and helps out in case you spill some at some point between getting it and the test. Also, get a couple extra heaters. They're cheap, and I'll explain later...

    Step 2: Continue being proactive:

    • Prepare your concealment method: I've seen people say they tape the bottle to their leg, use ACE bandages, and several other creative techniques for accomplishing the carry and concealment of your bottle. I recommend this:
      • Most styles of underwear have a front access point.
      • Not necessarily so with boxers or the weird and exotic stuff some of you might be in to, but most briefs and boxer briefs have the same access point, but that access point leads to a sort of pocket just below your balls
      • If you turn the briefs inside out, you can sew the back side of that access point closed, essentially making one big pocket you can access from the front that extends all the way down below your nuts.
      • Your bottle will fit nicely inside this pocket...try it; it's easier seen than explained
      • If when you wear your shorts with your bottle you notice they want to fall down, don't fret. Just roll the top of your shorts down (like chicks do with sweats to make them low-rise), and then hike them up good. They'll stay put and keep the bottle close to your body (good for sustained heat)
      • Once you master the shorts contraption, slip on a pair of long-john underwear over your shorts. Keep the bottom of the long-john pants over your heels, so when you put on your shoes, you create an impenetrable (at least by an accidentally fallen bottle) force field between the bottle and, for example, the bathroom floor in front of your test administrator.
    • Once you have your Quick Fix, your shorts, your long-johns, and it all works (you feel confident the bottle is secure and, if it does slip out, will end up safely hugged against your leg) before you store it all for a rainy day, practice with it.
      • Get a reliable digital thermometer
      • Heat up the Quick Fix as directed (according to their website, it can be reheated an unlimited amount of times)
      • Check the temp according to the temp strip on the bottle
      • With your CLEAN digital thermometer, compare the actual temp to the temp strip on the bottle
      • Note any differences, e.g., the strip says 98 degrees, but the thermometer says 101 degrees (like in my case). This is vital because your sample must be between 90 and 100 degrees. If your cup says 98, but Quest reads 101, you're sunk
      • Once you determine a good range on the cup, e.g., 96 degrees on the cup equals 99 degrees with a thermometer, put the bottle (absent the heater) in your shorts (long-johns and outer pants, too) and walk around for a couple hours. Every hour or so, check the temp by the strip and with the thermometer to ensure you're still shooting fro the proper temp range
      • After a couple hours of this, you'll likely already be more confident. It's actually not that hard to maintain the proper temp. If it seems the temp is dropping too quickly without the heater, attach the heater and try again. Do this until you're confident you know how to maintain the proper temperature for at least a couple of hours
    Step 3: Test Day
    Make sure you really have to pee!! So here's the deal: pre-employment drug screens can seem scary, but legally, I don't think anyone could do anything to you if you did get caught, so relax. Unless you happen to get some asshole, the person taking your sample probably makes near minimum wage and could care less whether or not you cheat on your exam. This of course won't be the case for everyone, but it is the case very often. If you're really nervous, try to scope the place out a day or so early so you know what you're walking into. Just seeing the office layout and the faces of the workers made me feel better. Anyhow, here's what it boils down to: the hard part is the temp, and that's not hard. The rest is literally as easy as dumping fake piss in a cup. They'll have you fill out paperwork, rinse your hands, and lead you in. They'll explain not to flush, not to wash your hands, etc., etc. Then the cool part...they leave. It's just you and your bottle and cup. Take the bottle out and shake it up a bit. If it's loud outside the bathroom, you're good. If it's quiet and you fear they might be listening (and they might be), don't sweat it. Flip the bottle over a couple times and voila, it's shaken plenty; no need to get crazy. Next (I don't recommend the alternate lid with the squirt top; doesn't sound natural) take the lid off and quietly (not hard to do) poor the entire contents into the cup. Quickly set the cup down and pee into the toilet a bit. Not much, just enough to accomplish three goals:
    • Sounds realistically like you're "finishing up"
    • Puts urine in the toilet for them to see
    • If you dribble a bit on the bowl, on purpose, it furthers the illusion you've just stepped into a bathroom and peed in a cup
    Then notify the sample taker ASAP so he/she can test the temp ASAP. Go back out, sign the rest of the paperwork, and be on your way. Don't hang around asking dumb questions like, "So how long until I find out?" or "is there a way for me to get the results before my employer?" Just get out. They'll indicate on some paperwork somewhere whether or not the temp was in range (in my case, the cup had its own temp strip, so I knew it was good, but then I saw where she typed "YES" to the question, "Specimen within range?" but don't ask about it!), and you're on your way.
    Step 4: Go home and stress out. The point of this post is to alleviate some of your stress, but I know you'll stress out anyways. Just know that Quick Fix does works, and it works in California at Quest Diagnostics. All you have to do is maintain the temp, then dump some fake piss in a cup and shut up. Too easy. Oh, and if you smoke shortly after your test, you might really start freaking out. Try a beer instead. Made me feel better.
    So that's it. Good luck (not that you'll need it).
    Oh, one last note, certain states, California for one, now test for uric acid levels in urine samples. Quick Fix has that covered. They ship a Canadian version with a uric acid supplement already mixed in. Just make sure you get the right version. If it has an American flag and says Made in America, that's the CANADIAN version. It says made in America because it's going to a foreign country.
  2. happyone9

    happyone9 New Member

    Your better off using the urinator and Dr. Johns pee. I have been searching forums and have not found anyone that has had problems with it. I called them and they said they have been on the market since 1998 and have always had uric acid in it since the beginning. Sounds like a no brainer to me !

Share This Page