The Epic of Homerskillet - Synthetix5, w376 10-panel

Discussion in 'Urine Testing' started by wholefutureontheline, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. Quite a story here, and I'm dying to share it. First off, I'd like to thank everyone who's ever posted here or anywhere else to share information about their experiences with drug tests and the methods they use, as well as whether they were successful. As every person reading this knows, it can be an extremely stressful experience to take a drug test (pre-employment, in my case) and despite the emotional rollercoaster ride that is hearing everyone having different experiences with varying methods, at least I could take some comfort in knowing that there are people out there who've succeeded. It can be difficult to find very meaningful conversations on the net about this topic, and my experience has been that this site is absolutely the best place for crowdsourcing some drug test knowledge. That said, I am still awaiting my results so this post is going to end in a cliffhanger for today.

    I had a buddy refer me to a fantastic job with a huge salary and great pay at a good company (as a contractor, but still with full benefits, automatically renewing/perpetual contract, and 4 weeks of paid vacation per year starting immediately). I already work for that company on a different contract, and through a different contract company. I'd love to tell you which companies these are, but for now it'd be too much of a risk that someone could piece it all together and figure me out, and I didn't get where I am by being sloppy. So anyway, this other contract is fantastic, and the contract I'm currently on never drug tested pre-hire so I didn't think a whole lot about it at the time I sent my resume over.

    The day after the contract company got my resume they gave me a call to kind of "pre-screen" me over the phone briefly and make sure I wasn't a nutjob, then scheduled me an interview for two days later. I can't tell my job I'm looking elsewhere or risk being canned on the spot. I make an excuse to get out for a long enough lunch for the interview (girlfriend might be pregnant, doctor's appt., blah blah) and then rush over ther. When I arrived I changed into dress clothes in the parking lot, nailed the interview, then changed back in the car and went back to work. From what I understand, I'm the first person in dozens to interview and get offered the position, so pretty much nailed it. I'm on cloud 9, for a moment.

    As the recruiter is telling me the company has my salary request and is offering me the job, he also mentions that I'll get an email the following morning to fill out all the usual paperwork, and I'll have to be honest on my background check. He also mentions that I'll get a list of places I can go take my drug test, and that I'll have "a few days to do it." Bubble = burst.

    ..(To be Continued)
  2. (..continued)

    To go back for a moment, I've taken a few piss tests in the past. Most recently was about January 2011 for an alcohol assessment to determine if I'd need continuing treatment following a DUI or just an 8-hour class. I had a lot of advance notice, so I abstained for something like 35 days and passed with flying colors. The only other one I ever learned the results of was for a job I started back in about 2003, and I used a smoke-shop detox drink for that and passed. But as I'm reading all the news since the last drug test I passed with detox drink so long ago, I'm seeing that these places are a lot better at detecting this kind of cheating and I'm fearing more and more that it would be wiser not to risk it.

    Now, this has me in a panic and I'm thinking about how the next morning I need to put in my 2-week notice to keep from burning any bridges with my current contract company, but also that in the next day or two I've got to pass a drug test and if I don't, I could very well end up with no job at all. I'm dying of stress over this, and that night I found this forum. I stress and stress, and also buy 3 at-home drug tests (FirstCheck, mar. only). I found this forum and read and stressed and read some more, drank a bunch of water and tested N2's dillution method (albeit kinda half-assed). I was impressed by the amazing success of vitamin B2 turning my pee back yellow after voiding a number of times, but was still very worried about using my own urine and risking dillute.

    Long story short, I settled on a synthetic urine called Synthetix5. Reviews were few and far between, including two apparently fakes posted by the manufacturer or something, some people calling them out on it, and some other very convincing stories. I bought the stuff yesterday, thinking I have at most 2 more days until this test must be done. Part of the reason I was convinced to spend the $50.00 for the stuff was the delivery system: It has a well-made flexible bladder that doesn't overly-bulge (I'm what most people consider very skinny: 5'8" and 135-145 lbs). It also had a sturdy but flexible surgical tube with two built-on clamps (like the kind you'll see on an IV) and a red plastic cap at the end. The bladder is permanently-affixed to a flexible, just-broad-enough strap with velcro that fit perfectly and seemed pretty much like a one-size-fits-all for anyone who isn't obese (and even if you are, you might just use your thigh instead). Getting fake piss into the cup without getting caught was always my biggest concern so once I saw this kit and felt confident I could use it possibly even in a monitored setting I was sold.

    Today I went to U.S. Healthworks and quite easily completed Phase 1. My test type is a w376 10-panel (non-DOT) test. As I suspected when I went in there (because my slip said "no e-cup") it wasn't an instant test. The guy giving me the test said he gave me the wrong cup to pee in and he ended up having to transfer it over to two separate bottles that were smaller, the reason being that he hadn't noticed the "no e-cup" thing on my slip and so he said "they want it sent to the labl." This was a bit unnerving, but some things were working in my favor.

    The temp was good. I glanced at it before I gave it to him and it was about 96, the built-on thermo on the pee bladder said somewhere around 100. You have to expect a degree or two to be lost as the pee travels down the non-heated tubing and into the cup). I should mention that the heating pad never seemed too warm to me, so I was actually afraid it would all be too cold, but it's a hot day and I drove with the windows rolled too keep it warm. I actually had to circle the block with the AC on after I checked the temp before before arriving and found the temperature to be around 102.

    I had a button-up shirt and some very typical jeans that weren't super baggy but also not super tight. I belted the bladder just above my wang so it was kinda sitting where my main forest is for the whole trip. I kept the surgical tubing wrapped in a wide loop under the beans then back over the frank to try and keep the tubing at body temp as well.

    The color looked pretty believable and not dramatic in any way. It looked yellower in the bladder than it did once in the cup, but it was yellow either way. It wasn't foamy and I had read/worried about him seeing no foam and giving me the stink-eye or flagging my sample, but I was fortunate that I had chatted this guy up and played everything cool and he wasn't being a total hard-ass trying to scope for foam, and he certainly didn't take a whiff of it.

    Well I got to watch as he put a few things into the computer and prepared for me to sign my consent and understanding whatever-the-fuck. It asked him if the temp was right, and he checked "yes," and it also asked him if the sample "appeared to be adulterated" and he checked "no." The guy seemed pretty nice, but anyway... I actually thought about trying to bribe him to pee in the cup for me (could've kicked him a few hundred on the spot and been fine financially), but thought better of it. I figured I had put my faith and my money in the synthetic urine, and I felt my chances were better at fooling a lab than bribing the guy. Considering that I've read of numerous people passing with synthetic urine (I believe I even found a post somewhere where someone reported passing the exact test I took using the same stuff I used), but haven't found a single story of anyone bribing or attempting to bribe the technician, I thought that would just be way too risky.

    So anyway, there you have it. I hedged my bets by deciding not to put in notice at my current position until I get the absolute green-light that the background check and piss test are a success. I've lost a lot of sleep and sweated a lot of sweat over this terrifying ordeal, and the only solace I've found has been the stories of others. I've always had a thirst for knowledge and just feeling like I understand the tests and variations, the methods and what doesn't work, I can at least feel a little empowered-- and this can only be because so many others stepped forward, donated their time and told their stories so that the rest of us can benefit from a collective pool of wisdom. For that reason, I felt compelled to share my story with you all. I'm just a daily, casual smoker who likes to hang out at home with his girlfriend, play video games and smoke a little bit of pot each day.

    I don't hurt anyone, and the stuff I buy is grown locally so I know the whole "cartels kill families" point doesn't apply to me-- AND I'm the most dependable worker on the team I have right now. I trained over half of them myself, and I'm well-respected. I think it's a real shame that myself and others have to suffer this terrifying paranoia over their futures due to their own private choices, and I think it's really unfortunate that every single day in this country, some otherwise-great parents, employees, teachers, firefighters, and respected individuals of all social classes are losing their livelihoods, losing their ability to provide for their families, and losing their own sense of self-worth in the process all over a personal choice that has no more bearing on their ability to do their job than alcohol does. Tax this shit and let's get it fucking over with, already.

    Back on topic: I'm not sure how long it will take to find out whether it worked or not, but when I find out I'll be sure to come tell you guys. Meanwhile, time to go take a bong hit and hope to hell I just became a rich man. At this point, smoking a bowl can't change a thing. If they fail me, they fail me, and if they ask me to submit another test I'm going to take a stab at bringing my friend's or finding possibly trying a detox drink. I know that if I don't pass with synthetic urine once, I won't pass with it the second time either.

    Anyway, if any of you are religious folks. Please pray for me. I could use all the help I can get.
  3. bowl made of pot

    bowl made of pot New Member

    I passed the same exact test using a detox drink the one with the saxophone and the dude in the fedora it costs $30 and worked perfectly for me.
  4. Thanks for the intel man. Maybe if they call it fake or say "there's a problem," I can try that on the retest. Just gotta figure out who carries it around here...

    If you figure out what it's called, please do let me know. :)
  5. floppyjoe

    floppyjoe New Member

    I'm in almost the exact same position as you, got an offer for an awesome job but needed to notify my current employer immediately to be a decent person and give them the standard two weeks. Found out I had to take a test, no time to dilute or anything, used quick fix, career on the line, now I'm waiting to find out my fate. Ive already quit my current job. Im dying inside. Just like you, there was no ecup screen, it was sent off to a lab. But I don't think that really means much as I've seen lefty of cases where people have passed with synthetic being sent to a lab.

    Maybe someone can answer this for us...if there were to be a problem, from what I understand the MRO would contact me directly before contacting the employer. Is this correct? I'd basically like to know in what scenarios an MRO might call you. Is it possible given that synthetic was used, that there would be a case where they would straight up contact the employer directly and say " he gave us fake urine" or "something wasn't right and it did not pass". Wouldn't I have to hear about it?
  6. bowl made of pot

    bowl made of pot New Member

    It's called Jazz Total detox FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS EXACTLY AS STATED IN THIS LINK hopefully you wont have to take the test :bananaride:
  7. Just ordered a bottle. May not do me any good at this point, but hopefully it will down the road. Thanks man.
  8. DrugTestDave

    DrugTestDave Moderator

    Even once you've passed a pre-employment drug test, it never hurts to have something on hand in case you have to pass a random. Good call guys. Good luck and keep us posted OP. :)

  9. bowl made of pot

    bowl made of pot New Member

    Did you pass?
  10. Why, thank you for asking.


    I'm still waiting to be sure that I made it through the background check now. Apparently a charge I didn't include on the form from very nearly but not quite ten years ago is something my recruiter needs to run past HR to be sure I'm still good. But hey, they've already presented like a dozen employees and every one was turned down, so it sounds like they'll be in a real bind if they don't hire me and get me to the client on Monday as agreed. Besides, if they're paying me $70k + ~$10,000k worth of benefits, you can bet they're making a shitload of money off of me as well. :)

    Thanks for your support guys. I did order a bottle of the Jazz drink that Bowl Made of Pot recommended, and that's supposed to be delivered Thursday. :)
  11. DrugTestDave

    DrugTestDave Moderator

    Awesome!! Love the success stories :) Congrats!

  12. chronicallyill247

    chronicallyill247 New Member

    man, exact same fucking bullshit i gotta worry about. basically, been smokin on that dank for years, daily, blunts, you know.... and i work, well i did work, and one of those pointless 11-8 office jobs that just takes up your whole god damn day, and of course, no opportunity for advancement, ever; unless you're just one of those goodie two shoe mofuckas that brown noses all day, and even then, chances are slim. ANYWAY, got hooked up on this kick ass job offering my just about 40k a years plus bonus and benefits, and for a young dude in his twenties with no degree and a bunch of dead end jobs to fill up a resume. so i did the interview, background /check came back good (which had me worried, got warrants right now lol) and i gotta take a drug test, on tuesday 7/24/12. it's saturday morning, 7/21/12 and i haven't smoked since 7-14-12. been constantly taking B100 and Niacin along with hella water, just to try and deox, went and bought a stinger detox and a few strips to see if shit would work out okay. it had been at least 72 hrs without toxin intake and the stinger didn't work, tried the syntetix5 and obviously that did.
  13. chronicallyill247

    chronicallyill247 New Member

    like anyone else, i'm fucking trippin, cause i told the other job to go fuck themselves, in a nice way, and obviously if i fail this test, then i'm fucked too. i have a very fast metabolism and low body fat, but since i've been smokin on the daily for like 6 something years, idk at this point, i doubt thc is just gonna leave my body in a week, no matter what i do. i really wanna do it the legit way and get detoxed, but i'm thinking thats somewhat unrealistic at this point, and i'm worried about using a detox and having that come back diluted or the lab saying that i used a detox. i plan on just testing myself with the detox right before i go up there, and if i still test positive on the strip (which i assume will happen anyway) then i'm gonna have to use this synthetix5. which means i could've been smokin this whole time anyway, but whatever. i'll get back with yall and update after i piss. hope it goes well, with whatever i use....
  14. DrugTestDave

    DrugTestDave Moderator

    chronicallyill, your concerns are good ones. How long do you have to detox? Also, just FYI, the only detoxes that are going to show up on a urine drug test are those that have adulterants and/or masking agents in them (kinda the same thing, but not always.) If you dilute properly, you shouldn't have an issue turning up a dilute result that won't pass a drug test, but to do that there are the DIY steps you have to take in N2's dilution tips and tricks. A permanent cleanse that takes like three to five days might work wonders for you, but I'm not seeing how long you have to get ready? Have you tested at home yet?

    Good luck and keep us posted!

  15. bowl made of pot

    bowl made of pot New Member

    use the syntethix and legit detox while you wait on results and before use jazz total detox and follow the directions EXACTLY so you will pass easily if you have to retake (incase you fail with synthetix (highly unlikely)). And you should be straight.
  16. chronicallyill247

    chronicallyill247 New Member

    ha, well if i had known i was taking this test at a care now, i probably would have just went with the synthetix, HOWEVER a close friend of mine has to test frequently as a condition of bond so i just got his piss, put it in the synthetix bladder and made sure everything was at the right temp. had to slip a lil bag of hot hands under the bladder at the last moment walking to piss to make sure the temp was up to 98 haha.

    i just couldn 't risk NOT getting that job, and i also didn't want to stop smoking, it's like my own form of meditation lol
    2 people like this.

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