chronic12345

so i had to write a satire for english class. (10th grade)
well its kinda badly written, cuz, 1) i just finished it and its midnight n i want some sleep! 2) not really a major grade, and 3) its just a rough draft anyway

here it is:

The world renowned Olympic athlete Benedict Ed, also commonly known as the “Rhode Island Rocket” (the name coming from his incredible swimming speed and his birthplace), has been the subject of much debate on the news lately. To this day, the 8’9” athlete has won 2 bronze, 14 gold, 17 platinum, and 21 diamond medals for his country.
Recently, a video of Ed has been leaked showing him taking a 200mg tablet of Tylenol, to “soothe his headache”. This hazardous drug is on the list of Schedule I drugs, along with other dangerous drugs such as cocaine and Advil. Some doctors claim that Tylenol is really not as dangerous as it is made to seem. One doctor, which asked to remain anonymous, even went as far as to say that “in small doses, it can be quite harmless and can be beneficial to one’s health”. He refused to answer when asked what he meant by “small doses”. Since Ed took 200mg, twice the lethal dose of this drug, many wonder how he is still alive and healthy.
He later released a video in which he publicly apologized for his actions. He realizes that many Americans, and even people around the world, including children, all look up to him and see him as a role model, so he apologized saying that he knows what he did was “immature” and he will never do it again.
“The next time I get a headache,” Ed says “I won’t turn to drugs to solve my problems. I will just wait a few hours until it’s finally gone, like a normal person. This will not happen again.” Many people question this statement, and also question Ed’s career, as Tylenol is a very addictive substance and even the slightest dose can cause severe addiction in many cases.






wat do yall think?
edit: its set in the future, not sure exactly when

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