canaculture

Looking for some constructive criticism for lyrics to some songs my band has going, since people I know don't seem to want to criticize.

Sun
A stunning moment, capsulized in time
I was merely speaking, it was our minds that rhymed
A fantasy comes real, life falls in line
With nothing to fear, we'll make it this time

Love at first sight, a warm summer night
One look in the eye and we know it's right
Forced reflection only comes in the end
If I were to tell, I could only begin

I breathe.. the air, it divides and
Sinks down, I drown in its wake
Lately I've been dreaming
Now my life is what I make
Out of an infinite future grows a definite past
The keys to our minds doors
Just confirms where we're at

Life varies in every way
We can't predict the change
Truth is love is god
I am who you are
And all we experience
Is the fractured mind of our species
A material plane, a spiritual being

G-Major
The light shines in my eyes
And I see.. oh, I see
And I know just what it means
And I don't know where I stand
I'm standing here, alone
But we're alright, maybe I'm okay,
The worlds a little fucked up,
But hey, hey...

I see myself in a mirror
Feel it in my bones, I'm breathing.
Be there so soon, we're up and leaving
Out on the road, shoes below my feet and
I'm starting to enjoy my own minds company
Reality, Insanity, Everything

The light shines in my eyes
And I see nothing
And I know, oh I know
Just what it means
And I know just where I stand
I'm standing here, alone.
But I'm alright,
Yeah, we're okay.

I see it in that smile,
All wicked and wide,
An eternal flame caught up in a lie.
You know its time, oh its time
Read between the lines.

The light shines in my eyes
And I see.. oh, I see
And I know just what it means
And I don't know where I stand
I'm standing here, alone
Alone, alone, alone

I am getting old.
Reality consumes me, I can not breathe.
I shine on through eternity.
Shine into infinity.

Pied Piper
The Pied Piper played me a song
Just the other day
Now my mind just wanders
I'm floating away

I walked in on a demonic sect,
The timeless march of the living dead.

The first step closer
Is a leap the other way
More questions for your answer
"I loved you anyway"

Now I'm not a man of integrity
But a guilty conscience does bother me
Sometimes I find it hard too see
What the hell is wrong with me

And it wont go away
No, it wont go away
It won't go away
It will never go away

A pale blue breeze
Caresses skin made sensitive
How unusually convenient
This heightened sense of initiative

I won't go away
No, I wont go away
I wont go away
I will never go away

Before I could think of
Some newfound reason
I realized there's nothing left
For me to believe in

It wont go away
No, it wont go away
It won't go away
It will never go away

We were born to die,
And that's life.

SleepyJohn

The rhyme and rhythm seem fine, if You're using 4/4 time. The progression,scales,and melody could be the only judge. Single,or harmony? The songs, all have a contemporary message,and could be well effected. Make sure You can dance to it. See how they fly,on a non friend performance. The feedback you'll get won't come from over driving the amps!