Maximus

Chapter 1.

Hey, my names Mike. Mike Shwarza. I'm just here with my friend Pete, we gonna tell you a little story so listen up. All you stoners need a little culture, so this is my story bout a small town near Madison Wisconsin.

It was a balmy June day in the little town of Poynette Wisconsin. I was heading down to this little trailer park that my friend Pete lived at. It was a complete dive, ya know? It was cheap, I'll give him that.

Anyways, we was gonna drink a few beers cause the weather sucked balls and we was a little hot after getting off work. Me and Pete work at a local Iron Works shop full time. Everyday, same old crap. Making Dumpsters. Fun, so fun. We had a fine selection of quality Wisconsin and down at Petes place. Thats right, we had the Beast, slang for only Milwaukees best , we had some natty ice some miller high life, a little Mr. Bostons vodka and a working fridge. Ol' Pete hadn't have a real fridge til last Tuesday.

Anyways, so I'm headin over to Petes to suck on some brew, walkin up "main street" trailer park USA, and that's when I see him. A strange old man stood there on the small hill behind Petes wack shack, he was dressed in a bright yellow and purple stripped robe. He stared right into my eyes. I felt this pounding in my chest, I felt dizzy and crashed down into the gravel road as he stood there and watched with those burning eyes. I thought "maybe just this fricken hot ass sticky humid hot summer is kicken my ass again", but I had a strong feeling that this asshole wasn't like me or Pete. He was the devil, or at least a high demon, maybe an intern. But as quickly as I realized I should kick his ass as I rose my head high enough to see his ugly mug, he was gone.

I began to feel dizzy once again, ya know like when you drink an 18 pack on an empty stomach? So I puked all over, well, everything within 5 feet. Big whoop. So then I hear that asshole Pete start laughing at me from his patio, if you can call it that. I was like "what the hell man? did you see that ugly weird old man behind your tin can?" and he was like "No, but I saw your dumb ass hoppin around like you was standin on coals dude, then you f'ing puked all over yourself! That was funny shit man, it's going up on youtube for sure! Now get a beer jackass, lets get all kinds of stoned and drunked" He burst out laughing as he walked towards me with a beer, that jerk off, and at that moment I felt sick and quite angry.

All I could see was red, so I walk up to Pete, that asshole, and headbutted the mother f'er. With a loud "thwap" he dropped to the ground while I stood there, glaring at him with my burning eyes, yet didn't feel a thing.

I've never done anything like that before, I'm usually a chill stoner, not a fighter, and suddenly I felt different. Not like waking up and realizing you like fat chicks "different", no, it was more powerful then that. But, man, within 3 minutes I felt normal again, completely normal. No nausea but I had extreme pain in my forehead. Pete was knocked out cold, oh well, I'll get him a 6 pack of somethin good. Maybe Mickeys.

Will Pete wake up? Will Mike realize what that visitor is up to or if he is really real? Stay tuned for Chapter 2.

Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This story is not real.