kaleidoscopekate

Wrote this while high. It's pretty funny towards the middle. Then at the end I lost consciousness. It's whatever. I need to experiment more with writing while high.

Oh the things you'll see.
On another topic.
Why is drinking alcohol sooooo good and smoking pot soooo bad? At least a person who is high doesn't puke all over the place and never remember who their last fuck was. And some of the best ideas are created high. Heard of Dubai? Yeah, that shit's amazing. I don't know if it was created high, but I mean all the details are there of a high person. And those crazy Dubaianers seem like the type to toke up. So, see? Dubailand: product of Marijuana.
I like pizza when it's cold.
How do microwaves work? Can someone please explain that to me? I think I skipped that day of high school.

My dog hates me. He's giving me a death stare. I don't know why. Pizza. I want to go for a walk. Go sit by the reflection pond. Go to sleep next to the reflection pond under the stars and huge moon.
I love bamboo.
It's such a happy plant. Bamboo's like, "you can pick me up and cuddle with me for a while and I won't die. I'm that hard to fuck up. I will not die unless you put me in a blender. Even then, maybe not. That's badass."
Then I'm like, "woah, Bamboo, I haven't given you water in a week!"
And Bamboo's like, "bitch, I don't need that shit. I got 100% moisture content."
And I'm like, "woah Bamboo, you're so cool. I want to be just like you."
And then you kill yourself and your cat because you realize bamboo just spoke to you.
Alright. Now that I have an irrational fear of bamboo?
I AM A TYRANNOSAUS REX I TYPE WITH STUB HANDS SO SORRY.
I need to urinate. I need to urinate. I need to urinate. I need to urinate. But it's like I have the power to hold it indefinitely. I have a super-bladder that's always like, "pee if you want, but you don't have to if you don't want to."
My muscles are sore. I'm all constrained. And it's cold so it's even harder to move. I'm. Freezing. Up. So. Sorry. See you next time on The High Moments in Life.