TheCleric

Ok you all out there reading this heres the rules. Im gonna start a story and everyone gets to add to it and keep it going for the next person. Just please dont post more than once with an addition, and try to keep it interesting!

Anyway with that said im going to make a seperate reply and post the start of the Infinity Story there.

Cleric

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TheCleric

One day the sun was shining bright and the grass was pungent and tasty smelling, i awoke to the smell and decided to partake in the sacred honor of the wake and bake. I reached for my bong in its usual space but it wasnt there. Now im not a forgetfull person and im nice and organized so i knew something was up when it was M.I.A. I dove out of my bed and stepped on my cat, with a loud shriek from it i was fully awakened. I didnt know what to do, someone must have found my bong. I ran to my stash spot to see if my weed was there. Digging through my pipe collection and surplus of rolling papers i noticed my bag was indeed in there, odd though i had a half the other night and now i have a quarter. The only people home with me are my two room mates Steve Urkel and Paul Reuben and i know they wouldnt touch my stuff, well maybe paul but defnitly not steve. I scratch my head, throw on my clothes and start the search for my bong. I go into the living room where Steves watching re runs of Alf and ask where Paul is, Steve replies "well he went to the store and said he would be back in 20 minutes, but i left you some corn pops for breakfast." I decide to sit down and eat my breakfast while waiting for Pauls return. I sit down get a bowl pour myself some corn pops, add milk and begin eating still pondering what happened to my bong and my stuff. All is blissfull the birds are singing and i have a tasty breakfast when all of a sudden theres a knock on the door, Steve gets up and opens it and proclaims in his nerdy voice, ohh dear......

Cleric

Jax Armani

...grandma! what are you doing here? and how did you find this address?" she walked by him numb to this interrogation, and sat down at the table to my left. steve sat down across from her and she said "stanley, I don't want to talk about it." he told her "But grandma, it's me, Little Billy." She looked at him with a scowl and said "don't interrupt me, young man." i noticed that her pupils were wildly dilated.
"Grandma, what did you take?" i asked. She looked at me now and this time she smiled.
"Oh, Little Billy!" She said. "I was wondering when you were going to get here. Let me make you lunch." She walked into the bedroom.
I wondered for a seccond how steves grandmother go to our house. was paul's car out side? i thought, i looked out side a moment but paul's car was no where in sight, it had been about 15 miniutes and paul is never late, he should have been home at any moment. i look back at steves grandma When she passed in front of my mirror, she stopped, looked at her reflection and said "hi, how are you?" When there was no response, she got angry. "Fine! don't talk to me, but if you're going to be rude, you can leave my grandsons house!" She paused for a second.
"If you don't leave this house right now, I'm calling the police!" She yelled. steve ran into my room as she was trying to walk into the mirror to get to her reflection.
"Grandma," he said, "why don't you come make me some lunch?"
"Oh, stanley," she said. "When did you get here?" he asked her what pills she took.
"My allergies were acting up this morning, so i took some allergy pills," she said. steve had her sit down on my bed and went into the kitchen to look through her purse. In it, he found an open bottle. he handed it to me and I looked at the list of active ingredients, and confirmed my suspicions: it was diphenydramine. I laughed momentarily and heard my grandma start laughing with me in the other room.
Iwent to my stash spot, grabbed a pipe and my sac, walked out into the bedroom and told steves grandmother to come with me in my car, we were going to go for a drive...

StonedOnSativa

The car was a flashy,red convertible. I wish it was a porshce or some big name like that but it was just a normal mazda sedan with a "homemade" severed roof.
WE were crusing at a moderate pace listening to that peaceful silence.

"where are we going", she asked.
"Well for starters i am taking you home so you can no longer be a part of this this stoner story. Then i will probably go back to my home and find Paul and retreive my bong".

Steves Grandma gave me a confused look and didn't say another word.

Anyways i said my farewells and i pulled a U E and packed the pipe with some ganja. I remembered at that point that i am only 14 years old and i dont have a liscence. How did i end up in this sotry? How did i own a car? I ignored my brainchatter and i parked my car and walked to the park. I sat on the bench and smoked my pipe like an old man smokin' his tobacco on the front porch. I decided i wouldn't attempt driving stoned since i have never actually driven a car yet. I decide i will pack another bowl and take the bus home and pack some more bowls in my sweet bong with the guys.
On my 3rd hit of the second bowl i looked up and saw a police officer. Since this is my story and i am in control of the dialouge and narrative i simply said:

"Hello officer, how are you"?

"He said i was under arrest for smoking an illegal substance and that anything i should say would be represented in the marijuana.com court of law."
his wording was very odd but hehehehehe he had no control. I ran away dropping marijuana seeds in the dirt. All he could do was stand their yelling. Since this is my sotry this nosy copper was NOT going to have the oppurtunity to chase me. I was running away planting my seeds when i got lost in my thoughts and i no longer was in control of the story, i fell down and when i looked up i was in a jail cell. I wondered "What had happened?

Abracadabra

Without warning, I remembered exactly what had happened. I had been planting my seeds and running from the popo when I tripped on a banana peel and landed on my cranium. After i felt the size on the bump on my head, that evil profligate posing as an officer of the law caught up to me. Seems that he wasn't such a bad guy after all. He told me that he was just messin around and that he wanted to puff a pipe with me while he was on duty to make the day go by easier. Regardless to say, I loaded a bowl and we toked a whee bit of hemp. We were good and intoxicated when the cop asked "hey, do you wanna get the shotgun out of my squad car and shoot some birds? you can use the shotgun and I'll use my handgun."

Well, we were racking up quite the body count when I looked to my right and noticed my O-dog Juan Pablo hitting my bong I had been missing. Had he stolen it? Had I loaned it to him? Perhaps I should investigate. Turns out I had loaned the bong to young Juan Pablo, so that solved the mystery to the missing bong. I had a good laugh at my forgetfulness, and then Juan Pablo, the good officer, and I hit the bong. When we were complete, we all hopped into the squad car and went the police station to eat some donuts. We were messing around, and well, we kinda locked ourselves into a jail cell. I was walking around, brainstorming, trying to think of a way to get us out of this god forsaken hell hole when I slipped on another banana peel and hit my head on the toilet, rendering me unconscious.

The Stoned Philosopher

When I woke up I found myself in a dark room with a single light overhead. Then came in a guy dressed in black. He pulled up a chair and sat next to me and said
"We been watching you for quite a while Mr (so in so),
and what we saw you do is quite.........disturbing"
I said"Why Iam i here? Where the cop I was with?"
Then out of nowhere came a wierd voice in my head saying "Your friend has been reprocessed and now is back in active duty" First I thought i was tripping due to the herb being laced but I thought it couldnt be that.
Then the man in black said to me"What you did was smoke the an illegal substance,a substance illegal for one reason only""Why because its bad for me?"I said sarcasticly. "No your wrong,the reason its illegal is because humans on marijuana are harder to control,it is direct violation of the colonization of your world.This is the reason we are so "harsh" on it as you humans say"
said the mysterious voice. Then i said to myself "wtf is happening here???" So i got out of the chair only to be paralized by the man in black."You will go no further Mr (so in so)"then he speaks in his miniheadset"i have a man here that needs to be send to reproggraming as soon as possible" After I heard that i said to myself"its the end" Then all of a sudden a femine voice started talking in my head saying"Dont say anything,just stay calm,someone will be there soon to free you"
Then a person came into the room the man in black looked at him in hatred and then all of a sudden the man in black was sliced in two by a sudden gust in wind.
Then i noticed iam not paralized anymore "We dont have much time,follow me!"said the guy as we left the facility.
"Why did you rescue me?" I said"Because your fated to our cause" said the man in a black trenchcoat with glasses on. We finally got out and got into a beaten up ghetto black van. I got in and then blacked out again.
When I woke up i was in a room with 5 people in it.
one was the guy who saved me who later introduced himself as Tetsuo Sumeragi,a sexy blond woman named
Julia,a guy in buisnessmen clothes named Pual Ravenson,a chinese woman named Sang Xi and finally a old monk in buddist robes called simply"The Prophet Lao Tzu"
The old man said to me"Young man,do you know of the dangers that face this planet and human civilization as we know it?"he countinued before I could say a world.
"You are fated to save this earth my son,for I have forseen it,the sleeper must awaken!" Then i was given a cup full of a wierd green liquid by Julia."Drink it,its the only way that our world can be saved" I drunk it and started tripping like mad. Before me in my "vision" layed a glowing eye on top of a pyiamid.below it was the earth,but the earth was being shattered by another person,another person who wasnt human...........

The Stoned Philosopher

OverDrive

Once the world shattered, everything began to fade away. I drifted backward, away from the amazing vision.

I was awakened in my bed by the radio of my alarm clock. I sat up and felt dizzy and groggy. "Was that the best trip of my life or did all that really happen?", I thought to myself. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were so red that they had absolutly no white left in them! "What a trip!", I screamed out loud. Steve Urkel walked in the room and said "It's time to save the world." I looked at him wierd and asked "What did you say, man?" He replied, "Don't talk about your evil drugs so loud. People will hear you." I smacked Steve on the cheek of his face and he fell to the floor crying. I didn't care if this was a trip or if this was for real. I was having the time of my life! I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I WILL FIGHT FOR LEGALIZATION! THIS IS THE END OF THE GOVERNMENT'S STRANGLE-HOLD ON OUR MINDS!!" I grabbed my bag of weed and my pipe as I stormed out my front door, ready to save the world...

pothead

. . . As I flew out the door, I saw five tiny, neon green aliens, the size of midgets. They must have been with the group trying to reprogram me. Yes, that's the only soulution I thought. They were armed with what looked like futuristic assault rifles: The colors were varied, each gun was a different brite, excentric color; There were hoses running all up and down the barrel of the guns.

The aliens looked at me for a minute, then aimed the guns at me. All at once. It must have been the instant the triggers were pulled, because before I was mowed down by the martian firing squad, I entered a sort of nirvana. And a perfect communication between my body, and my mind. Split seconds before the bullets reach me, I pulled a "Matrix," and bent back limbo style just in time. When I stood back up the aliens looked up at me with a sense of worship in their beaty, martian eyes. They dropped to their knees. In a second, they were all bowing down to me, chanting some sort of martian giberish that no one could be expected to understand. It seemed as though with my quick manuevering, I worked my way into their paegan religion.

"Damnit you E.T. bastards! Tell me what you're saying!!" I screamed, hoping my position as a demon mixed with a harsh voice would scare them to my demands.

Then, one of the martians brung a device to it's odd looking mouth, which had small, pale lips. Virtually not visible. Much to my suprise, the alien spoke.

". . . You are to be granted one wish. . . You are to be granted one wish. . ."

He (or she I couldn't tell on the little martian ****s) quickly pulled the device away and put it into what looked to be a pouch, much like that of a kangaroo. The giberish continued. I had to say something.

"Fuchnaka tiki taka likun sifnah bootani shma!"

"Oh ****," I thought. "How do I know their language? Nevermind that for now, I've got a blunt to smoke with the alien anti-drug leader."

One of the martians pulled something else out of his pouch, and again spoke into it." I'll spare you the agony of reciting the words he used in his language, and just tell you what he meant.

"Six to beam up."

Sudenly I was transported from in front of my appartment, to in front of another alien, this one with a a purple robe and a crown, on what appeared to be the alien ship.

"Are we gonna smoke a blunt or what, chief?" I said in the ****ed up sounding language. He did not reply. What appeared to be a servant martian approached me with a silver tray and top. When I removed the top I saw a large, swisher sweet wood tipped cigar on a red pillow. It appeared as if the poor martian jackasses had no rolling skills, and needed me to supply the weed. I split the blunt with a razor they provided me, and dumped the contents onto the tray that the butler was still holding for me. I got out my sack and proceeded to roll a phatty.

"I'm done" I shouted. The alien waved his hand to the side, and a chair appeared beside him. I sat down. I then pulled out my lighter and lit it well, so it would smoke perfectly. I took a hit, held it in, exhaled, and repeated. It was the big kahuna's turn. I grabbed the blunt in the middle, and extended my arm to the martian leader. He grabbed it quickly. He was clearly not happy. He took a hit and his cheeks puffed out.

"I ain't haven't that ya slimy bastard! Now inhale! Open your damn mouth and let me SEE you inhale!"

He inhaled, and coughed violently. When he was done, he looked up, and his barely noticible lips curved up. He took another hit, held it in a second and coughed. His smile grew bigger. He liked it.

We finished the blunt together, getting the tiny alien thouroughly stoned.

"Thank you for showing us the evil of our ways." My new stoner buddy said. "We have just sent word to all of the politicians we planted in your governments to legalize the magical herb that we so wrongly judged."

"No, thank you for seeing the errors of your ways." I said. "I guess I should be going back to earth now."

"Well, would you like to come with us in our adventures through space? We can smoke all the pot we use for "Government" tests until we run out. Whadda you say?" The alien replied. . .

TheCleric

*blows the dust off*

Cleric

PsYcHoLoGiCaL

"no, I must over see the legalization movement here on earth so I can be certain it gets done correctly." I replied. The alien then taped is foot and scratched his head and said "well you see we have very big problum and we need your help now that you have made me realise that mairjuana is the greatest thing on ever I have realised a bigger mission that i must go forth to sway its outcome." "Whats that?" I asked, "well you see there is yet another alien race called the Gonsasarians from the planet Zelon #6 these creatures are on a quest to destroy planet "Krypot" which contains the universe's most potent strains of marijuana. And we must stop them." he aswered. "Wow, you mean marijauna isnt just native to earth?" i asked. "No" the alien leader replied, "It gose back millions and millioins of years ago back when there was one planet deep within the universe that was 3 times the size of jupiter, and every inch of it was covered with differnt strains of mairjuana. But a terrible thing happend when a huge comet crashed into the planet and shatterd the planet into hunderds of thousands of peaicess each then coming astriods that carry its own marijuana seeds. After millions more years eventually each of these astriods crashed into planets and marijauna being the great plant it is started to grow in their new harsh enviorments and then started to evolve to adapt to it." he answered.

I then stood back and just soaked it all in I couldnt belive marijuana had flown 1000's of light years before it crashed on our planet. The alien then interruppted my thoughts and said "are you sure you wouldnt like to come with us on our jouerny to save krypot? We can implant and chip into Steves head to make him smart enough to over see the legalization movement him self, what do you said?."..............