Magic-Al2

If reading someone elses crap about weed and their life isn't your thing then I guess just don't read this. You may or may not find this interesting, its a small part of my journey to madness...


July 10, 2001
I started this one year ago...
The weed, the books, the writing...
I think I've become reliant on pot, it’s weird though, I feel like stopping would be no problem but I just see no reason to stop. At least for now, I don't know what I'll in a few months in college. Its great, I have no idea what to expect. My life from here is getting a random roll of dice with roommates, field of study, and everything else. Its all looking good, at this point all my goals look like they will happen

July 11
How do you look at time when scale is involved? For every large successive change in scale (Atom, Person, Galaxy) things appear to move more slowly. By the time gravity is carried over to the quantum realm it is so weak that the need for an atomic theory of gravitation has not been necessary. Its very interesting though, just imagining how things on enormous scales can have no effect on the smaller ones. I want to see them as self-contained units. I think a good way to measure scale would be to find where the nature starts following a different set of rules. Its very cool that the gravity that holds a massive galaxy together has no effect on the way some keeps some random molecules floating at the end of an arm of the galaxy combine and react. I've studied compression methods for computer data and it is intriguing. The whole idea of storing more in less is so great. The idea of functions, though I've been working with them for 6 years or so I suddenly feel inspired by the mere fact that they exist. That they can reiterate, or self reference is impossibly cool. Maybe this stuff just seems neat because I'm very stoned... Having the ability to simplify, to make a bunch of things the same thing a as result of a universal law seems too good to be true. If you build an apparatus for the measuring photon/hole problem is must chose from one or the other, but otherwise, it doesn't. Only if you try to see which hole it goes through, does it pick one...

July 12
I find myself addicted to reading, is this bad???

July 13
I'm trapped in suburbia... I lean out my window and look around. I never see any neighbors; the streets are almost always empty yet tons of people live here. I'm just sitting in my room studying science, smoking weed and listening to music. I don't know what kind of lives the people around me have. I wish I were friends with the neighbors, like when I lived in a much lower class house. I'm getting ready to go have a cookout, well just a couple of steaks. I'm high as a kite.
Wow, I was just sitting on my roof reading Godel, Escher, Bach and some guy walked up to me. He gave me this big weird speech about earning points and winning a trip to Europe. I was just 10 minutes beforehand thinking about going to Europe. Finally I got rid of him after he got into the magazine sales part and I said I have no cash, no checking and no credit card. I was thinking he was a scammer but maybe not, either way I hate it when people are talking to me for the sake of selling a product I know I don't want. I want to be nice to the people, I don't really know why. It just seems like a waste of both of our time. I think the human race is going to start mutating beyond control; we may be forced to start over. We're screwing everything up; if we don't act soon the entire world will snuff itself out of existence. Our environment is taking turns for the worst, as predicted. Ozone layer at an all time tow, we have warnings not to go outside sometimes in the newspaper. It’s like the beginning of a science fiction plot.

July 27

I'm preparing just in case humanity destroys itself. I'm copying thousands and thousands of books to CD's. Try to preserve as much information as possible. I have an urge to collect knowledge; I want to build as vast a library as I can.

July 28
I should have the entire Gutenberg project on CD's by the end of the day.
Its so beautiful out today, I hope our climate doesn't go all science fiction on us.
I'm going to stop myself right now; I just realized that I have nothing useful to say to the world at all. All this stuff I've written the past year and a half has been garbage. I'm very high right now. Today I got up and cleaned my car for a few hours, it had gotten pretty nasty. I accidentally broke the window yesterday trying to get in my car after I locked my keys in. Since I had to get the glass out I ended up finally cleaning out a years worth of ****. I got a little more stoned and mowed the lawn. Copied a personal electronic library to CD during the breaks. I'm about to go get some air in my tires


August 1 (2:40 AM)
I think I’ve finally gotten myself all burnt out. I'm still excited about college next year but I just have so much cannabis in my system that my mind is different. I'm smoking a good bong right now. I smoke so much weed 3 or 4 times a day or more, everyday. I feel the same as yesterday; I see no possibility of saying anything worth writing down. It’s that ironic of all the things I could have said I happened to talk about how I said I have nothing to say. I really really want to go to mars, the more I read the more possible it seems. Barring disaster it is going to happen eventually. I'm very excited about the future of technology, especially nanotechnology. I think the odds are very good that I will spend a sizeable portion of my life in space. Spending the time writing like I currently am looking out into space perhaps. Its sounds like a grand adventure I would give anything to be a part of. Interstellar travel takes a long time. Depending on the speed of the ship even close stars can take hundreds of thousands of years to get to. Multigenerational colony ships might someday come into existence out of necessity to explore the outer recesses of our galaxy and beyond. Imagine people being born and dieing for the sole purpose to start a human colony somewhere new. It’s just the stuff of science fiction now but conceivably it could happen. I just can't imagine the mentality that would have been created from that kind of isolation. Think about being born on a ship knowing that you will never make it to your destination alive, only their kids kids kid or something like that. Life would seem to lose its meaning maybe for those destitute people who were unknowingly born into something that might resemble hell. It might also be a great place to live develop and prosper, I guess it depends how it’s done. I can see it both ways right now. There is another very interesting concept about nanotechnology that I just had my attention brought to. I've been reading a book called Entering Space by this guy who founded the Mars Society, which is doing experiments for a mars colony. He said although nanotech might not violate any laws of physics it might violate some laws of biology because it would evolve uncontrollably. According to Zubrin machines on such a small scale self-reproducing on a large scale would inevitably lead to random imperfection (i.e.: variation) in the machines. They would then follow the laws of nature that the variations that work best are preserved and evolve. I think this would be true but it doesn't necessarily mean it could happen. I think there might be some way around it, some way to make sure they would be the same. I've invented like 6 ways in my head you could keep them from mutating just sitting here. I think it’s certainly possible.

August 5 (3:40 AM)
I haven’t smoked for a few days; I'm trying to get it all out of my system. Who knows how much weed is still in me, I've been smoking pretty heavily. I'm quitting for a while. Not because I don't like weed but because it doesn't do anything to me anymore. Getting high used to be this mystical experience that was great. Of course that was when I smoked every few weeks or less. I started smoking daily, several times a day and kept doing it for a while. I guess I was just chasing the feeling I used to get. From everything I read and hear after I don't smoke for a while it will go back to being like that, and that’s what I want. My old friends that I hung out with before I started going wherever the weed was came to my house today. We went to some train tracks we used to go to and just ran on top of the trains and whatnot. Then we went to an old abandoned factory in which we had a lot of adventures in the past. We hit some golf balls on the huge dirt mounds. We broke into a methane gas collection facility too. We didn't break or steal anything; it was just for fun, like the old days. Only when we used to do stuff like that we would break and steal things. Don't get me wrong, these guys aren’t thugs or criminals, they are nerds to the core who just have fun in weird ways. Oh well, at least they don't want any weed. They invited to go with them to Cedar Point tomorrow, assuming they actually call me I'll go. I'm taping a Get Smart Marathon downstairs, I love old television. Watching almost all new shows just makes me angry at the stupidity and commercials make me want to blow the TV up. I hate seeing so many people being dishonest, talking to you for the expressed purpose of selling something. And it really drives me nuts that I can't help but watch it if it comes on, I see a commercial and its funny or eye catching or something that just appeals to me its hard to turn it off. But that is exactly what I do; I turn it off, or mute it and read when the commercials come on. I used to watch TV all the time, just like everyone else. I have a huge database in my head of television series and shows and all kinds of worthless ****, I'm just glad I finally realized it was worthless **** and stopped watching it. Actually, I stopped watching it when I first started smoking weed, that’s also when I started reading books for entertainment again. I read a lot when I was a little kid, but when I got a computer I stopped and just read the **** on the Internet. Its not all crap, but you have to be really picky. All I read is science, I'm educating myself. Nobody seems to understand, everyone calls me a bum and says to get a job. I'm making several mental breakthroughs everyday from these greats books I've gotten. Best of all its entertaining, I'm happy that I’ve gotten to the point where books are fun again. I went to a movie with my girlfriend and some of her friends the other day. It was a movie for girls; it was all about an unpopular girl who gets turned into a princess. It was terribly predicable but just like all of these garbage movies released it had its funny points. The mall we saw it at really bothered me, I hate the place. All those people, all those minds, all that could be getting accomplished, and what are they doing? Buying things and socializing... I should probably stop being so down on everything, I'm starting to sound like that guy from the Catcher and the Rye. This book I've been reading has clarified a lot of stuff about physics to me, it’s a really great book. Its called "First you build and cloud: and other reflections on physics as a way of life" by KC Cole, she is an amazing woman. Up until this point I've felt that women were in some way inferior to men in that they didn't seem to have a great interest in the sciences. I realize it is an unfair thing to say, but I only thought it because I have never actually read anything scientific from a woman. This book has changed that, I will argue for the mental equality of the sexes now. Even this phenomenal woman has played in the female stereotype though, a quote from the back of the book reads "Cole demonstrates that physics can be 'emotionally, sentimentally' fulfilling- that is, fun!" This isn't a problem, even though she's looking at it emotionally she knows what she's talking about, I wish I had her as a teacher. I'm actually trying to look her up and on the Internet and maybe contact her. I have another one of her books which was a best seller called "The universe and the teacup: the mathematics of truth and beauty" its really good too but I am more interested in the physics right now. Its 4:20 now, I'm starting to wish I had weed dammit, I might actually have a psychological addiction... I have enough in a baggy I just found for one good hit from my bong, but it would be fleeting, I won't even try...

August 5 (3:40 PM)
I'm still watching the Get Smart marathon, 12 hours later. I'm getting really bored, I think I should go jog around the neighborhood, exercise metabolizes the THC and will get it out of my system faster, and also I'm getting fat. I don't want to leave the house in case my girlfriend calls though, oh well. Hmm, I think I might plan an assault on the Methane Gas facility, out of boredom. I know it would be no problem to do considering my experience. The main buildings are surrounded by barbed wire fence and have alarms and sirens installed. The entire facility is automated though; I'd need 2 people to do it with me. I don't actually want to do it but it is fun to plan, it would be foolproof. I can't stop watching Get Smart, its such a good show. It was my favorite show when I was a little kid. This is the first time I've tried dating all my writings

August 6 (1:10 AM)
I think I might actually be addicted, I still haven’t smoked but I'm seriously considering smoking that tiny amount I found in the baggy last night. I smoked it, what little will power I have...

August 6 (4:00 PM)
I got immunized for a few things today. The people said that my vaccination records were all messed up and made new ones. I finished the "first you build a cloud" book, it is a classic and will always remain in my personal library. I circled and underlined throughout the entire book the parts I found of most interest. I have my tent set up in the back yard, I'm not sure why

August 7 (1:50 AM)
I ordered Richard Feynmans "Lectures on Physics" today with my new debit card. Buying stuff on the Internet is a pretty great innovation but I still think knowledge should be free. I've written a lot of stuff this past year. I just read through my notebook called "The effect of Isolation on an unbalanced mind" which was my journal on a solo outing into some dangerous woods. A good portion of it is math notes but those 5 days were the best-documented days of my life thus far. I wholeheartedly recommend backpacking by yourself at least once. It can really let you develop some thoughts...

AYWMS NWIAm

well i read most of your journal and it brought back many pot smoking memories. it's nice to know other people think about the crazy things also. there was a few things i wanted to comment on but i fogot what they were except the one i copied. you said
"Imagine people being born and dieing for the sole purpose to start a human colony somewhere new. "
and that made me think that it is the sole purpose of pretty much every living thing to reproduce so i don't think it would be that weird.
i just thought i would reply since it didn't seem anyone else did

Wizeguy

Hey there, Magic-Al2, thanks for an entertaining read.

I've read a fair few of your previous writings and find them to be quite exceptional. Anyways, you seem to think a lot like I do, always thirsting for knowledge. By the way, are you at all into the spritual/philosophical side of things?

I guess its just good to know that other people sort of think the same as me, even though we have lived totally different lives and been through totally different experiences. Sometimes I wonder if I am insane..I ponder why we are here constantly, how we got here, and i am also a devout reader. Thanks to you, i now know im not

So if ya want, ICQ me, if ya use it, on 47758632, just to talk, or email me on johnsy10@hotmail.com if ya like.

Daniel

To the New and Popular "Creative Writing" Forum.

Daniel

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