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dedbr

Twas the day after Christmas,
And Lord what a mess,
I don't want to get up,
I must confess,

But I rolled over in bed,
And kicked off the cover,
Not moving too fast,
So as not to wake mother,

The stockings and paper,
Were all over the place,
So I kicked thru the mess,
To the kitchen, in a race,

I got the pot bubbling,
Oh what a sweet smell,
Some rich,dark coffee,
That would be swell,

I clopped to the toilet,
And thru back my stash,
Felt the flow of relief,
Come in a flash,

Finishing up,
I turned towards the mirror,
Blinking my eyes,
Trying to see a little clearer,

Oh man,said I to myself,
You sure look rough,
Shouldn't of smoked and,
Swallowed down all of that stuff,

I went for my coffee,
Quick as a flash,
A hot cup of mud for me,
Then a look at my stash,

Sipping my coffee,
Then hitting my chair,
I reached for the dope box,
But it wasn't there!

Instead a paper,
With writing I snare,
"We've got your stash,
With the little red hairs!"

What's this I say,
Robbed of my best,
I almost crumpled the paper,
Without reading the rest.

"We came last night,
To clean up the mess,
To help you out,
With your holiday stress,

Signed it was,
With a cramped little hand,
"The Elves who do clean up,
From Santa land,"

Hold on a minute,
I'm not buying this sh*t,
Elves from Santa,
Doing a house cleaning bit?

No no I say,
I'm not falling for it,
Something else is going on here,
And I still need a hit,

A small roach did lay,
In the ashtray with care,
As least I can hit,
Some left-over red hair,

So I sucked it down,
That small,little taste,
To help me wake up,
Mighty post haste,

Christmas does come,
Only once a year,
Santa and his sleigh,
And eight tiny deer,

I didn't know,
The elves come too,
To clean up the mess,
But they got my stash,you,

Take this? Oh No,
Not I,Would you?
But I couldn't figure out,
What I should do,

I heard a voice,
Coming thru right clear,
Come on old dedbr,
And be a dear,

This wasn't real,
Oh no,just a dream,
I rolled over in bed,
Before she let go a scream,

Only a dream,
Not real at all,
Everythings ok,
I'm on the ball,

So I roll up a number,
And kick back in my seat,
I must of had some bad turkey,
When yesterday I eat,

It's all good now,
The buzz is coming on,
Hope you all are well,
Merry Christmas,anon!

__________________
"There I am, on the road again.......Here I am, up on the stage............
Here I go, playin' star again...........There I go, turn the page.
"Turn The Page"...Bob Seeger

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schwadood

__________________
peace and much love

TokeyMcBongHit

lol @ funny poem!

samson

hey.....that really was a marvelous rhyme....Well done!!!

Peace and One Love,
Samson

Super Woman

Haha! That was really funny, nice job!

__________________
Down the rabbit hole and through the talking doors lies a world where vibrant colors merge into shapes of fantacy, and music radiates from flowers.

 

suede

That birthday thang "i must of had some bad turkey when yesterday i eat " Yeh.....Middle age stress...10 years lateb.s.

__________________
End World Hunger

bo-battie

damn, dedbr's got some dope rhymes.

__________________
250604
former cannabis analyst

"just because i stand above you doesn't mean you understand me"
--qwel

Bailey1138

Been forever since I've seen one of ded's stories, great work!

__________________
"All you do is head straight for the grave, a face just covers a skull awhile. Stretch that skull cover and smile."--Jack Kerouac, Visions of Cody

dedbr

Flipped on my box,
And what do I see?
Another dope Christmas Rhyme,
From that old Dedbr,to me,

This one about,
One of those funny deer,
The one with the red nose,
That you could see very clear,

It got that way,
From hitting good bud,
If he puffed too much,
It looked like the blood,

Snoozin' one day,
And sleepin' it off,
He happened to hear,
Old Santa cough,

"Rudolph,said Santa,
"Where is my sack?"
"I don't know,said Rudolph,
I ain't seen it since awhile back,"

"Well,get up and help me find it,
I need to catch a buzz,
Go ask the other reindeer,
If they remember where it was"

So Rudolph,though abuzzin',
Went off to ask the guys,
If they had seen the sack,
That belonged to extra large size,

"Nah,we ain't seen it,
We have our own supply,
Why would we rip off,
The Jolly,old fat guy?"

Rudolph told Santa,
"I think the guys are clean,
Lets go ask the elves,
And see what they have seen,"

Santa led the way,
Out to the old work shed,
To see the elves about,
Something for the head,

But when he got there,and asked again,
Has anybody seen my bag?
Who would want your sack,they said,
It's only a bit of swag,

"Front me a bit,until I get right,"
Said Santa with a grin,
"C'mon to the house and we'll see,
If Mrs. will let us in,"

Rollin' up to the shack,And across the porch,
They hit the front door grinnin',
Santa and Rudolph,gonna get stoned,
On some good old elf magic chinnin',

Bust up in the kitchen,to get some herb tea,
They blink their eyes,at who they should see,
Mrs. Claus just happened to be sittin',
With the candy cane bong,Just rockin' and hittin',

"Whats up with that,you tubby old hag,
You been pinchin' my dope sack?"
Mom sprang from her seat,landed on her feet,
Lookin' ready to attack,

"Don't run your mouth to me,"she cried,
I'll kick your old fat ass,
Theres gonna be some changes around here,
And don't give me no sass,"

"I'm tired of workin all day,
While you sit in your chair,
Puffin some good sh*t,
With spicey golden hair,"

"Now go out and hook up the sleigh,
Were going into town,
I'm going to the new mall,
You fat,old hairy clown,"

Santa didn't take long,
To hit the back door flyin',
Got the reindeer hooked up,
Without really even half tryin'

In a moment,Mrs. Claus,
Popped down out of the house,
A fancy dress,a new hat,
A gold Christmas tree on her blouse,

"Lets hit this joint,And then we'll go,
To the club to drink and dance,
This elf stuff is pretty good,
I'm thinkin' of romance,"

Santa Claus just shuddered,
As he turned and started the sleigh,
Looks like he had to plan on,
A roll in Christmas hay!

schwadood

HaHA!