| | #1 |
| Here's some poetry. Go nuts ![]() Listen to my cry Listen to me yell Nothing comes out Heart swells I'm about to burst so close to the edge feeling the breeze, I'm weak in the knees. One step forward Two steps back I'm turning turning back Can't you see me? Ripping apart my insides are spilling tearing it out you're tearing me up. And here's another one ![]() Enveloped in me a calm and drowning sickness to turn black eyes red For once a scene bless-ed beauty with commotious ties lapses in time strokes my back As it turns to face my oncoming darkness where I engulf the sky in a grraceful rage. | |
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| | #4 |
| I figured I'd just make this my own poetry thread, so here's more stuff: You came in abashed only broken by tears a feeling was lost in a deciet that hurts so much more from where it comes a heart so near where it drew away your secret fear so longing of course will have its due time but not enough, and so shall we. turn to the light, it's bright shining grace things will get better eventually my dear the tide comes in. And another ( this is more of a song ): Feeling a part of what was once whole it seems lost thrown away, tossed aside and looked over. Turned away, down and out screaming to release into the space, rejoining grrace. You brought me in you closed me up stuck to this place I have no choice I'm beat and lost turned and stride I'm in too deep stuck inside so fill me up cause I'm not quite done make me burst with this pain I love. Strike with the knife cause it cuts deep you twist and stir in your new scene Had I known what ventures lay in this path away from here So fill me up cause I'm not quite done make me burst with this pain I love If I tried to scream silence would be the call gestures are done acknowledged with a nod But the blood runs deep even if it's not real streaming from my skin rolling against the tide So fill me up cause I'm not quite done make me burst with this pain I love I love it I love it Fill me. | |
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| | #5 |
| Does anybody have any criticism, thoughts, hopes, or dreams? anything? hello, anybody out there? ![]() | |
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| | #6 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Mar 2002
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| That was some very interesting poetry you got going there smokin but i liked it.
__________________ I can't fly, my wings don't work So Instead I get high so my feelings ain't hurt . F*** the world, don't ask me for sh!t Dead and gone but i still don't quit . |
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| | #7 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Feb 2002
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| From what I've heard I like them. I don't know what they are about or anything but I guess thats what makes them interesting to me. Whatever it was that made you write, I'm sorry it hurt you but sometimes hate and pain can be the best fuel for inspiration. If you don't mind me asking are some if these about regret? Your work is not all that happy, but thats what I like about it. For some reason I haven't been able to really ever write anything happy. But thats okay because if there is one upside to being a manic depressant its that when you get sad enough you think of some pretty weird stuff. Keep writing. *FaeRyWings* |
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| | #8 |
| Activist ![]() Join Date: Oct 2000
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| They are your thoughts.They're interesting.Keep writing them down Someday,you'll have the answers to the questions that now engulf your curiosity,and this will all seem small,in comparison to the thoughts you mull over in your day to day struggle for existence b.suede
__________________ End World Hunger |
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| | #9 |
| Keeper of the Time ![]() Join Date: Jul 2001
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| Suede's got a point. I usually feel uncomfortable critiquing someones writing. Thats becasue they;re your thoughts. And I'm not even supposed to know what its about. You see, while you know, or have some idea what your intended meaning was, I do not and I can only form my own from the words you wrote. The significance I find may be different than the one you had when you wrote it, but that dosen't make it any less correct. Just some ramblings i wanted to put somewhere and this was as good a spot than any. BTW I did enjoy reading those ![]()
__________________ peace and much love |
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| | #10 |
| I wrote this today, perhaps a little happier. I wrote it with the image of a sun rising over the ocean on the coast: Maybe I didn't see the light storm across the water Hazy in this morning fog it surrounds me But it's just fine beccause I'm calm So don't worry just reflect on...time. And we'll sit back and watch the sun rise Maybe this time we're in for a ...surprise. Maybe this time. | |
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