| | #131 |
| Novice Healer ![]() ![]() Join Date: Oct 2000
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| The snap back to the real world was as easy as waking up. I didnt feel any pain from the fall, nor did I see a white light beckoning me to come to it and accept Jesus or anything like that. I just simply woke up in my room, in my bed, back in the real world! I won finally! Those were my thoughts as I opened my hazy sleepy eyes and saw the ceiling above me. I sat up to see Alex in a chair next to me, he had a big frown on his face, he almost looked pissed. I shrugged it off, he did afterall play babysitter through all of this with me. I spoke to him in an excited tone. "Alex its done! No more dream world man, its all over!" "Yes Guy its all over." he said dryly. I stood up to stretch my arms and give Alex a hug. I heard a click and suddenly I felt like I had just been kicked in the chest, right around my heart. Alex wore an emotionless grin on his face as he stepped back from our embrace, exposing the silenced .45 he had in his hand. I didnt even see it in his hand earlier. I touched the wound and saw my blood start pouring all over my chest from the bullet wound in my heart. There were so many questions I had but, the time would never come to ask them to anyone but myself. My vision faded out first but, I could still hear despite my body obviously dying and giving out. The onset of death wasnt as frightening as what I heard in my last few moments of existence. Alex was talking on a cell phone exposing the evil plans thinking I was already dead. "Yes I just finished it, we need to get a crew down here and make this look accidental...no sir I cant stay I need to get the new subject ready for implantation tonight..dont worry hes as expendable as Jacobson is....well this time dont give me a faulty implant and it should be fine....and we now know how to stop it if things get too bizarre for this one....yes sir the brain is unharmed, we should be able to get all of the info out of it so long as you send the crew here fast....well sir I dont judge my missions on right and wrong so I cant answer that question.....yes sir the profits from this new technology we have seen will be incredible...." Either the conversation ended there or my ears stopped working but, that short exhange of words explained so much to me. I had the clearest picture of what a facade my life was. We all are living in this falsehood that we have coined "reality." "Normal" is only a by product of our desire as predators to put everything in its carefully labeled place. My life was never as normal as I believed it to be, if only I knew it before it was too late. The End Cleric![]() |
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| | #132 |
| Novice Healer ![]() ![]() Join Date: Oct 2000
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| Well well well, 5 months later, 130 replies, and over 1k views it all concludes. This messed up little story has been a blast to write, and i hope it has entertained some of you with reading it. I eagerly await any and all feedback of thoughts on my story (especially you dedbr ) Cleric![]() |
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| | #133 |
| Seasoned Activist Join Date: Apr 2001
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| That's awesome, TC. You had me guessing throughout the entire story, and never once, was I right. hehe. I love the plot, and the turn at the end. Absolutely amazing! Wonderful details and great suspense. Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us. ![]()
__________________ Ten people who speak, make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. |
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| | #134 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Jun 2001
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| Absolutely brilliant ending man, my god!! Beautiful! when I realized he had been shot, I stopped and said "No, guy's not gonna die!" Good job , damn good job! Encore Encore!
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| | #135 |
| New Member Join Date: Jun 2002
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| Absolutely amazing story. There was so much suspense and so many unknown paths taken. You do have a true talent and I would also like to say thanks for sharing. It's pretty inspiring as well. |
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| | #136 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Jun 2001
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| Brilliant story, every twist and turn in the plot was totally unexpected, especially the end... so what now? Now that there is no Guy, I wont have anything to look forward to reading :-(
__________________ All of the above it true...except for the lies |
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| | #137 |
| MAJOR PLAYER ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Mar 2001
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| I really enjoyed your story. If you write another one,I will wait with bated breath for it to appear on these pages of light. DEDBR ![]()
__________________ "LET THE WORD GO FORTH, FROM THIS TIME AND PLACE, TO FRIEND AND FOE ALIKE, THAT THE TORCH HAS BEEN PASSED, TO A NEW GENERATION OF AMERICANS, BORN IN THIS CENTURY, TEMPERED BY WAR, DISIPLINED BY A HARD AND BITTER PEACE." -FROM JOHN F. KENNEDY'S INAUGURAL SPEECH, JANUARY 1961 Posting Guidelines! |
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| | #138 |
| Activist ![]() Join Date: Jun 2002
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| I really enjoyed your story, usually with these stories on the creative writing forum I dont stick around too much but this one is a keeper, so good job. I really liked it, thought it was well written, you have a knack for writing. Thanks for sharing your story! -Vaya
__________________ I Wish For Peace Between The Races Someday We Shall All Be One Coming To The Surface There's Fire All Around But This Is An Illusion |
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| | #139 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Jul 2002
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| Wow that is by far the best story on these boards IMO. good job can't wait for your next story. ![]()
__________________ "An eye for and eye makes the whole world blind" - Mahatma Gandhi |
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| | #140 |
| Novice Healer ![]() ![]() Join Date: Oct 2000
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| Wow thanks a lot everyone your words are very inspiring to me. Well AndieBear has helped me tons and organized a printable version of the story! I owe her a great big thank you and a hug for taking the time to stick everything together like that. So now i have my own copy of my story on paper, it came to 33 pages long on sized 9 verdana text! I was shocked. To be honest since i wrote it all as it popped in my head i have never actually sat down and read the whole story through so even i am looking forward to reading it all at once. All of your positive thoughts on my story are making me want to start writing another piece of work soon so dont be shocked if you see that i have another story up my sleeve. Now seriously, i want to talk dislikes for a little bit, was there any areas i need improving on? Did i convey the message clearly, did the story end too quickly? Theres gotta be something you guys didnt fancy i mean after all im not exactly Steven King So please let me know if theres any areas in my writing that i should work on, after all i intend on writing for a living so i could use all the help i can get. ![]() Cleric![]() |
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