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Dionysus

About a month ago things were roling along pretty smoothly in the life of Dionysus. Family life was going aight, school was aight, friends were sweet and rugby had just started for the season. There were the usual worries of everyday life, but Dionysus felt in control of his life. We all love that feeling don’t we; when we feel like everything’s under control, it’s great. Life though doesn’t care much what we think, it just plods on regardless and soon enough Dionysus’ pride led him to a fall.

He fell sick. Nothing overly tragic, but enough to remind him that there were forces beyond his control and that his life was far from his own. No more rugby, no more socializing, school suddenly loomed daunting and it all seemed about to crash down upon him.

It was while overwhelmed by the sudden loss of control and a feeling of impotence that Dionysus first encountered and experience he deemed to term "freaking out." It’s a complete loss of control, or more accurately an inability to deal with not being in control.

Dionysus’ eating habits degenerated. He withdrew from the world, presenting a mask for his friends and parents while he fought an imaginary battle with in himself. He began to place blame. Subject to bad conscience he placed it on himself, subject to anger he placed it on others and subject to ignorance he placed it on God.

As Dionysus plunged himself into this battle that could not be won he grew angry. He became a cynic, spying faults in everything and everyone around him. He became bitter and what before had been a vague darkness on the horizon manifested itself as a very real cloud over Dionysus’ world.

Crying himself to sleep and lost between conflicting cries of rage and apathy Dionysus pictured himself as being in the deepest depth of despair. But this view was ignorant and uninformed, so as a way to awaken him life dropped him one more level.

It confronted him with simple uncaring indifferance. It showed him no empathy, for life is not interested in empathy. Life had a completely foreign set of goals that day and ill-luck placed Dionysus between life and these goals.

Dionysus left the confrontation humiliated, shaken, sick in mind and body. But what life had done was not cruel or evil, for life knows not of such things, life is ammoral and from what seemed its most viscious attack came the saving of Dionysus.

Life had meerly goaded Dionysus, played him so as to bring out his best. There was not humiliation, but rather the stripping of damgerous pride. He was not shaken; he was simply being forced to recognise his experience. Nor was he sick in mind, he was just as yet to realise what for him was a new pattern of thought.

Life is a double edged sword. If only you are to seize it and weild it you can control its carving. If you hold and guide it you will see that every down going is a possible uprising. Every pain is a message and every experience is one to be relished.

Dionysus had not seen this yet though. It took one more gift from life. Apathy was stripped away by the natural stimulant adrenalin and Dionysus swallowed what remained of his pride and cried for help. He now found himself at what he always envisaged would be the ultimate down going, instead he felt an uplifing. Freed from ego and mishappen ideas his spirit soared on the wings of pain and from this pain emerged the light.

Pain is no enemy, in this life exist only enemies of our own creation. Now, from Dionysus’ pain beckoned a stranger, a saviour.

This saviour spoke of things from a different view. He contemplated things Dionysus had forgotten and from these things was gathered a new view, a realisation. The duality of life was recognised and in this greatest of moments the duality presented itself; for Dionysus cursed himself as a great fool, but laughed and smiled as he did so.

Dionysus embraced life. His defences stripped from him he felt unprotected, but ultimately secure. He saw that life could not be divided into good and bad. He saw that every suffering had been of his own creation. Sickness was a reminder of his vulnerability and he had been wrong to anger at this. Ego had barred him from acceptance of what, on reflection, was a simple message, a correction that if it had been accepted would of led him to exactly this point, but by a much different path.

Now he relished his sickness as a comment on his being. He saw his struggles with school as a challenge that, no matter the outcome, if accpeted would leave him with equally real and therefore equally fulfiling experiences. His emotions opened and he assigned to them no terms of good or bad, light or dark, proper or improper.

Hapiness was no longer his goal; for he realised that that ideal defeated itself. Instead he was content to be. To feel. To experience. A new blood coursed through his veins and filled him with enthusiasm. This enthusiasm made him bold and he used it to test life. His enthusiasm knew no bounds, but reality did and life promptly dislocated his shoulder just to prove it.

Pain once again rose in Dionysus’ being and Dionysus was once again afraid. But buoyed by new knowledge Dionysus faced the pain and as logical minds might assume pain’s duality was once more exposed. It came not as a punisher but as an impliment of change. Change is neither good not bad, but it is inevitable. So it was embraced.

Pain took from Dionysus his arm for a while, but it gave to him in exchange frustration, longing, time to reflect and and reassurance of his knowledge. Dionysus sampled these delicious emotions. He feasted on the energy they gave him and he even learned to find sustanance in pain itself.

A new consciousness emerged and with delectable contempt Dionysus cast off his outer self, shattered his mask and turned inside to find all barriers between him and true experience. Inside he found things that disturbed him. He found ignorance and resolved to fight it right there and then. Inevitably he lost. Then, at this thought, he checked himself, for he had once more seen loss as pain and fear.

Experience of duality unmasked them and decoded their meassage to him. He was uplifted on a wave of enthusiasm and optimism for he now realised there was no loss, there never is. There is only more learning, more over coming, more up lifting. With every defeat you simply gain more experience and therefore claim it as a victory and another chance at more enlightened experience.