isofthebholdr

i'm stoned, i'm tierd and i feel like rambling. i keep typing "fell" instead of "feel." kinda sucks, i'm getting tierd of hitting the backspace key. oh well, anyways. so, like i was saying. i hit the bong twice today. "big whoop" your probably thinking...its okay, i kinda am too. the odd thing is, it really got me high seeing how i havent smoked in two months. its wierd, i havent had the urge to, yet i have seemed to retain the creativeness that i am granted while high. now, when i smoke, it somehow reverses the role and makes me not creative. it is really wiggin' me out. so i really think i am gonna stop smoking. what am i saying? its nonsense. i really should clear my head and look at the stars for a while. damn, i could lose my way just looking up there. we are merely a grain of sand on an endless beach. how can we be so naive as to think we understand soo much? we really dont know squat if you look at the whole picture. maybe we can explore space and make nuclear weapons, but we dont even know ourselves. so much space inside that we havent discovered. wouldnt it be great if we all took time off to do that? we would come out of wonderful meditation and embrace life with a new found joy. take time today to breathe. take time every day to breathe. its a fundamental function but we dont take full advantage of it. there is so much more to life than this. and some of that "more" comes from beyond this "life." i feel wonderful, like a skydive from the moon...a skydive from the moon. letting so much out, making no sense. i think i want to be a psychologist. its fascinating to me. but so is buddhism. they are complete opposite. how can they both be so interesting? i guess their cant be one without the other. that is a neat principle to me. their is no night without day, and no good without bad. one cant exist without the other. that just proves how everything is a whole, but we as humans break stuff up into little parts so we can comprehend, all that is doing is drawing our focus further away from the whole truth. from "reality."