POEM / rap

pitbull · 05-07-2003, 06:49 PM

trials and tribulations - look at the ish we're facing

together as one nation - forget about your race, man!

who's gonna bring salvation? - fixation from temptation?

all the aggravation from adoration of sensation!

we better switch our navigation - fore the date of expiration

now let me switch this station - let you heal your lacerations.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*stoneypit--PEACE*

Devio · 05-07-2003, 09:19 PM

I feel your message but the rhyme scheme was nursery.

Plus the fact that every rhyme ends in the same "tion", it seems monotonous and that it probably took you about 2 minutes to write.

Jaycrills · 05-07-2003, 09:31 PM

"the fact that every rhyme ends in the same "tion", it seems monotonous "

Not saying that this rhyme is that great (not bad either) but its called RHYMING for a reason.

Crazy Horse · 05-07-2003, 10:10 PM

Not bad, definately rhymes. If you are into writing raps, you should check out this thread. Best of luck to ya in there, it can be hostile. Welcome to CheapTalk, pitbull...

05-07-2003, 06:49 PM	#1
pitbull New Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 15 Grams: 1,567.90 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	POEM / rap trials and tribulations - look at the ish we're facing together as one nation - forget about your race, man! who's gonna bring salvation? - fixation from temptation? all the aggravation from adoration of sensation! we better switch our navigation - fore the date of expiration now let me switch this station - let you heal your lacerations. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ stoneypit--PEACE __________________ PEACE...n smokealot 2!

05-07-2003, 10:10 PM	#4
Crazy Horse Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 904 Grams: 4,057.78 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Not bad, definately rhymes. If you are into writing raps, you should check out this thread. Best of luck to ya in there, it can be hostile. Welcome to CheapTalk, pitbull... __________________ My lands are where my dead lie buried.

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