Marijuana
05-07-2003, 05:49 PM
| #1 |
| New Member Join Date: May 2003
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|  POEM / rap trials and tribulations - look at the ish we're facing together as one nation - forget about your race, man! who's gonna bring salvation? - fixation from temptation? all the aggravation from adoration of sensation! we better switch our navigation - fore the date of expiration now let me switch this station - let you heal your lacerations. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *stoneypit--PEACE*
__________________ PEACE...n smokealot 2! |
 
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05-07-2003, 08:19 PM
| #2 |
| Banned Join Date: Dec 2002
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| I feel your message but the rhyme scheme was nursery. Plus the fact that every rhyme ends in the same "tion", it seems monotonous and that it probably took you about 2 minutes to write. |
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05-07-2003, 08:31 PM
| #3 |
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| "the fact that every rhyme ends in the same "tion", it seems monotonous " Not saying that this rhyme is that great (not bad either) but its called RHYMING for a reason. |
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05-07-2003, 09:10 PM
| #4 |
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| Not bad, definately rhymes. If you are into writing raps, you should check out this thread. Best of luck to ya in there, it can be hostile. Welcome to CheapTalk, pitbull...
__________________ My lands are where my dead lie buried. |
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