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06-11-2003, 05:10 AM
| #1 |
| Jr. Activist   Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,998
Grams: 4,287.30  Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts
|  Poem: West Land taken over by militant sand An abandoned gas station under the mid-day sun Deserted land with rising gas vapors The ground cracked open where water once lingered A vagabond on his horse wanders on through Sweat beads rolling down his forehead The dust picks up at his horse’s great hooves Wagons full of people follow behind Trailing with supplies and great big tent Soon this barren land will be a flowering oasis Another piece of land fallen victim to the combine
__________________ Cosmic Charley how do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue Dumdeedumdee doodley doo Go on home, your mama's calling you |
 
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06-12-2003, 10:26 PM
| #2 |
| Marijuana Guru Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,334
Grams: 2,783.90  Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts
| Excellent imagery. It makes me thirsty.  |
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06-12-2003, 10:32 PM
| #3 |
| Banned Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 148
Grams: 43.40 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| wtf.......... |
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06-13-2003, 12:25 AM
| #4 | |
| Jr. Activist Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,998
Grams: 4,287.30 Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts
| Quote:
Would you have liked it more if it was cliche "rap"? | |
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06-13-2003, 02:25 AM
| #5 |
| Banned Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 148
Grams: 43.40 Thanks: 0
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| hell yeah! at least then it would take some talent to rhyme. |
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06-13-2003, 10:03 AM
| #6 |
| Jr. Activist Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,998
Grams: 4,287.30 Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts
| Read the forum guidelines. "4>We expect everyone to know the fine line between constructive criticism and just being rude, we understand everyone is entitled to an opinion but flaming will absolutely not be tolerated in this forum. We are here to express ourselves and get constructive criticism, and not someone telling us our writing sucks. " |
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06-14-2003, 08:18 AM
| #7 |
| Marijuana Guru Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,334
Grams: 2,783.90 Thanks: 0
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| Ah, c'mon SmokerForPeace, everyone wants to hear you lay down a fat rhyme. Holla. |
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06-14-2003, 09:14 PM
| #8 |
| Banned Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 148
Grams: 43.40 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| Rap is poetry with a beat. |
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06-14-2003, 09:31 PM
| #9 | |
| Jr. Member  Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 889
Grams: 2,471.05 Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
| Quote:
Writing poetry without rhyming is a lot harder IMO, you don't have a simple pattern to follow. And it's a lot harder to make lines flow. I have an answer! highallthetime- let's see you come up with a poem that doesn't rhyme, and SmokerForPeace can make one that does. So what do you guys say?  By the way, good job smoker.
__________________ Down the rabbit hole and through the talking doors lies a world where vibrant colors merge into shapes of fantacy, and music radiates from flowers. | |
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