Marijuana
06-11-2003, 04:10 AM
| #1 |
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|  Poem: West Land taken over by militant sand An abandoned gas station under the mid-day sun Deserted land with rising gas vapors The ground cracked open where water once lingered A vagabond on his horse wanders on through Sweat beads rolling down his forehead The dust picks up at his horse’s great hooves Wagons full of people follow behind Trailing with supplies and great big tent Soon this barren land will be a flowering oasis Another piece of land fallen victim to the combine
__________________ Cosmic Charley how do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue Dumdeedumdee doodley doo Go on home, your mama's calling you |
 
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06-12-2003, 09:26 PM
| #2 |
| Marijuana Guru Join Date: Sep 2001
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| Excellent imagery. It makes me thirsty.  |
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06-12-2003, 09:32 PM
| #3 |
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| wtf.......... |
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06-12-2003, 11:25 PM
| #4 | |
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| Quote:
Would you have liked it more if it was cliche "rap"? | |
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06-13-2003, 01:25 AM
| #5 |
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| hell yeah! at least then it would take some talent to rhyme. |
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06-13-2003, 09:03 AM
| #6 |
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| Read the forum guidelines. "4>We expect everyone to know the fine line between constructive criticism and just being rude, we understand everyone is entitled to an opinion but flaming will absolutely not be tolerated in this forum. We are here to express ourselves and get constructive criticism, and not someone telling us our writing sucks. " |
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06-14-2003, 07:18 AM
| #7 |
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| Ah, c'mon SmokerForPeace, everyone wants to hear you lay down a fat rhyme. Holla. |
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06-14-2003, 08:14 PM
| #8 |
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| Rap is poetry with a beat. |
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06-14-2003, 08:31 PM
| #9 | |
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| Quote:
Writing poetry without rhyming is a lot harder IMO, you don't have a simple pattern to follow. And it's a lot harder to make lines flow. I have an answer! highallthetime- let's see you come up with a poem that doesn't rhyme, and SmokerForPeace can make one that does. So what do you guys say?  By the way, good job smoker.
__________________ Down the rabbit hole and through the talking doors lies a world where vibrant colors merge into shapes of fantacy, and music radiates from flowers. | |
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