poem=spring of life

imported_Ilúvatar · 10-22-2003, 05:29 AM

i just thought i'd share this to get an honest opinion. its not melodic but it says what i wanted it to say.

spring of life

Sitting, spinning around the spring of life.
I ponder a simple question.
“Where am i going?”
It’s too late for an objection.

Freefalling, infinite feelings rush my bloodstream
So many thoughts i can’t comprehend.
“Don’t worry; your fine”
I speed through the bend.

I finally understand purpose, life, and infinity
It’s worthless, meaningless, and a dead end
a worthless trend, and i’m stuck in the undertow

Drowning in my sorrows
i stumble to my knees
battling the current with will power
having no god to please

and then it hits me
i am my own god
i find strength in myself
and i fly far away

i don’t need friends here
i don’t need food
i need my crutch and my self
to help strenthen my mood

**** the ones who say i’m wrong
they just don’t understand
**** my self for being weak
with that thought, i’m swalloed by sand

i fall from my nest
seeing the happyness fly above me
i look down to see my landing
never knowing this is infinite

Herb Ninja · 10-22-2003, 07:39 AM

I don't have much to add, good poem, just stopping by and saying somebody read and liked it. I guess your handle is false afterall.

beats · 10-23-2003, 02:36 AM

I liked it. Cool poem.

I don't believe in the whole, I am my own god thing, but it's still a cool poem.

10-22-2003, 05:29 AM	#1
imported_Ilúvatar Where is my mind... Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,732 Grams: 4,123.75 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	poem=spring of life i just thought i'd share this to get an honest opinion. its not melodic but it says what i wanted it to say. spring of life Sitting, spinning around the spring of life. I ponder a simple question. “Where am i going?” It’s too late for an objection. Freefalling, infinite feelings rush my bloodstream So many thoughts i can’t comprehend. “Don’t worry; your fine” I speed through the bend. I finally understand purpose, life, and infinity It’s worthless, meaningless, and a dead end a worthless trend, and i’m stuck in the undertow Drowning in my sorrows i stumble to my knees battling the current with will power having no god to please and then it hits me i am my own god i find strength in myself and i fly far away i don’t need friends here i don’t need food i need my crutch and my self to help strenthen my mood ** the ones who say i’m wrong they just don’t understand ** my self for being weak with that thought, i’m swalloed by sand i fall from my nest seeing the happyness fly above me i look down to see my landing never knowing this is infinite __________________ I've got the smell of a local man, who's got the loneliest feeling.

10-22-2003, 07:39 AM	#2
Herb Ninja Seasoned Activist Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 4,443 Grams: 5,910.70 Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 3 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Collective life is infinite, individual life is not. I don't have much to add, good poem, just stopping by and saying somebody read and liked it. I guess your handle is false afterall. __________________ "Truth is treason in an empire of lies." -Ron Paul

10-23-2003, 02:36 AM	#3
beats Drop-In Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,356 Grams: 5,430.70 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I liked it. Cool poem. I don't believe in the whole, I am my own god thing, but it's still a cool poem. __________________ search

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