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Verango

In a place where flying pickles lived in peace among the Zarmanian kangaroos, there was a great war called. . . The Great War. It occurred on a planet called Verango where there once lived a variety of species, ranging from seven-fingered bananas to seven-and-a-half-toed giraffes. Not everyone lived in peace, yet somehow they managed to live on the same planet. But one day the Verangian creatures' world turned upside down (literally, completely upside down, the top was the bottom and the bottom... you get the idea.) The date was Thebuary 42, 7943 R.B. (Before we get into that you should know something. "What would that be?" you might be asking, well I was going to tell you, but I don't know anymore since you didn't say please. Fine, I'll tell you anyway.)

Verango was only one planet of 14 that existed within the Germanian solar system. They were 1st from the Germanian Star, called the Sun, (Huge coincidence!) making them very, very, pretty (I don't know how it made the pretty, it just did!) The 14th planet from the Sun was the planet Zarma, which was also pretty, but not nearly as pretty as Verango. The other 12 planets were Magenta, so no one really cared about them. Anyway, one day the Zarmanians got so annoyed with the Verangians (thinking they were so pretty and all), they decided to go take over their planet. So on Thebuary 42, 7943 R.B., the Zarmanian moose army arrived at Verango to take over the planet.

All the Verangian creatures started attacking the moose except for two races; the dancing lettuce and the flying pickles. The Zarmanian moose quickly realized they needed a larger army, so they decided to call up the Zarma planet. The first time they called, they got a busy signal so they tried again. The second time, they were rudely put on hold for a half an hour before they could get in touch with someone from their home world. When they did finally reach them, the moose told Zarma's creatures about the attack, so all the planet’s beings, except for one group, the kangaroos, decided to help the moose out. It turned into a great war and was therefore called The Donkey War (Ha ha! You thought I was going to say The Great War, didn't you. Well I changed my mind so too bad for you.)

The flying pickles and dancing lettuce started to become scared that they would be destroyed in the war, so they decided to do something about it. The flying pickles dug deep holes into the ground where they would stay for the rest of the war, and the dancing lettuce decided to dance more. Unfortunately, dancing didn’t help and all the dancing lettuce ended up being killed anyway. In fact, every one besides the flying pickles had been killed on Verango, including the Zarmanian army.

One day, after the war had ended, the phone rang on Verango. It continued to ring for 37 minutes before a flying pickle named Zarbo heard it and climbed up to the surface to pick it up. It was the Zarmanian kangaroos. Neither race had heard from anyone since the start of the war, 5 Verangian years before. The flying pickles explained what happened and then invited the kangaroos to come live on Verango so neither of them would get lonely. They accepted and took the trip all the way to Verango where they have lived together in peace ever since.

THE END

(That’s not the end. That’s actually just the beginning, who knows how long this story could actually go on… really though who? Do you know? I certainly don’t, I mean I’m not even close to done, right? How could I know?)

For years the flying pickles and Zarmanian kangaroos lived in peace, until exactly 3000 years, 2 months, 3 days, 7 hours, 16 minutes, and 33.789 seconds had passed since Zarbo had picked up the phone and invited the kangaroos to live with them. It was that exact moment (give or take a few milliseconds… or years), when it was decided that a 3rd species had to be introduced to the world (The flying pickles and kangaroos were pretty much getting bored of each other.)

And so, the search for a new race began, but ended very quickly. They soon realized that since they were on Verango, they were the prettiest creatures in the universe and would accept nothing less than very, very, pretty (Ironic how the one thing that led Zarma and Verango to a war was now what the creatures of the two planets had in common. I mean seriously, it’s ridiculous!) The only way they could introduce a new species would be to create one themselves. They had to make one which would be able to live in peace among the flying pickles and kangaroos, as well as have funky moves. After many minutes, the search was over. For it would not be a new race, but instead an old one reintroduced. The “dancing lettuce” would be having a comeback.

And so, the work began. The flying pickle and Zarmanian kangaroo scientists started to reconstruct the dancing lettuce DNA with some remaining cells that were left from the Shoe War (I changed the name again. Boy, am I confusing you or what?) And so it took 17 years, but finally, they were done. They had done it, they were so proud of themselves, but unfortunately they were only flying pickle and kangaroo, and neither was perfect.

They thought they had done it, they thought everything was perfect with their creation, so they continued until they had created one billion and seven “dancing lettuce.” “Why the quotes?” you ask. Hold your horses; I’m going to tell you. You see, when they took the cells of the lettuce, some of the DNA had been missing, so being the not so smart Verangian and Zarmanian scientists they were, they decided that filling in the rest randomly, would make the dancing lettuce come out the same. Well they were dumb. Instead of dancing lettuce, they had created unfriendly cabbage!

The unfriendly cabbages were not only unfriendly, but also very, very, evil. In fact, they were so evil that all the creatures from the Magenta planets were scared of them. But we don’t care about the Magenta planets, they’re unimportant.

“What do you mean we are unimportant,” a Magenta planet is saying right now, at this very moment, “We were the ones who saved the flying pickles and the kangaroos from destruction it wasn’t stupid holes it was. . .”
Suddenly, right now, all 12 Magenta planets blew up, because they were ruining the story.

“We didn’t. . . (KABOOM!)”

Now back to the story from before I was rudely interrupted. The unfriendly cabbage were so scary and unfriendly, all one billion and seven decided to take over Verango. There was only one thing the flying pickles and Zarmanian kangaroos could do. They started to dig holes.

For 99,999 years the flying pickles and Zarmanian kangaroos lived under the surface of Verango as the unfriendly cabbages devoured the planet. The Zarmanian kangaroos and flying pickles actually lived there for so long, they eventually became one species: The Semi-Zarmanian Flying Pickled Kangaroos, or herg for short. It was just 2 months away from the 100,000 year anniversary of incredible boredom, when the hergs decided it was time to bust back out onto the surface. They had to form a plan.

They couldn’t think of anything to do and became very, very, sad. But then they realized something. They hadn’t gone to check the surface in nearly 100,000 years. All the cabbages could have died for all they knew. So a group was formed of 13 hergs to search the surface to find out if the cabbages were still there. They started to dig and after 3 days they reached the surface, but what they saw then could not be imagined by anyone or anything, it had to be seen for itself (therefore I cannot tell and you will never know. Sorry.)

It was a giant plastic donkey, which was made out of plastic, very big, and happened to look like a donkey. (Just so you know, it wasn’t actually a giant plastic donkey, not even close, but I had to put in something, and I can’t tell you what it really was because as I said before, that would be impossible.) There were tales of such a thing existing, but everyone thought they were just stories, myths, they couldn’t believe it actually existed, that it was actually right in front of them. (Now you might be saying, “How could they have heard stories about something that you supposedly can’t even explain?” Well, I can’t explain that one either. So once again… sorry.) It was amazing, standing a lot of feet tall, somewhere around a bagillion.

In stories, they had heard that millions of years ago the plastic donkey had saved the entire Germanian Solar System from destruction against a very evil creature, very similar to the unfriendly cabbage. They had to wake it, so they started to look for a lever to turn it on. They searched everywhere for hours and then realized that maybe it was a button instead of a lever, so they pushed the very big button that said “press this to turn on the donkey who will destroy unfriendly cabbages or creatures close to it”, which they saw when they first saw the donkey.

The creature turned on and started to detect the planet for creatures that were either unfriendly cabbages, or something very close, it found a really large number, so large I can’t even imagine it, say it, or write it for that matter. Never mind, I must have been thinking of another number, there were actually only 8. Within seconds the donkey destroyed them. The hergs said thank you and then the donkey went back to sleep.

The hergs were finally getting back their planet, they were so happy. They formed a new government and in order to restart the economy, the entire planet became a farm which grew hair, but that’s another story.

THE REAL END

 

greypoe

Wow, thats a pretty good story, had my imagination trippin.