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Old 11-12-2004, 07:16 AM   #1
beats
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Default poem : gone

i've lost the skill
to write my feelings down

[it'll come back, when it all breaks apart
but i don't want it to]

it's nice to have an outlet
but it's worse when it won't close
so i've covered it with a blanket
a very soft, very warm blanket
that keeps my world so nice

nice enough to keep going
to keep struggling through this mess
this mess that I have made

[this poem doesn't make much sense
it doesn't flow very true
it's full too much of dulled down grit
dulled down by cotton wool]

[i listen to music still
it's really not the same
i've ruined that part of me]

i filled the void, the music would fill
with a drop of warmth
hollow warmth
but warmth

i do miss my music dearly
like a friend that's gotten lost
or like a person whom i'm no longer close to
but get to talk to every day

worse yet, is the friends i never talk to
and when i do the words are gone
like a sandstorm in the rain

[i can't connect to other people
not anymore at least
to them they feel i hear them
but i'm not listening at all]

in fact i wish they'd leave me
so i could sit wrapped in this fog
and enjoy my own delight
in a house without a home
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Old 11-12-2004, 07:20 PM   #2
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Default

damn good poem, beats.
makes me think about my own life and how **** just doesn't fit sometimes.
Also makes me want to start writing again. I haven't done any poems in quite a while.
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:42 PM   #3
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Its cool man, you just need some bongo drums.
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Old 11-12-2004, 09:59 PM   #4
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Default Nice...

Nice poem i like it alot, the structure n such. Nice LONG read but i was glad i did.

CoMpLeX
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Old 11-12-2004, 11:06 PM   #5
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Wow, thats pretty cool. Kinda how I feel about my relationship with someone I just don't agree with on anything aymore, even though we used to be close.
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Old 11-18-2004, 05:36 AM   #6
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pretty good man, I understand it more cuz I'm stoned. If only people would do drugs and do things like read poetry to see what you think at different conciousness. This dude that got me some "white rino" said that today said that.
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Old 01-06-2005, 12:41 AM   #7
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Default

Okay, whos the sunnuvabeech who gave me negative rep?

Quote:
poem : gone 11-12-2004 06:12 AM how awful you suck
As least have the yankers to post here and give me some constructive critisism. I love to improve

On another note, if you aren't going to show your face, at least think about how many addictions you've struggled through. If you can beat my count (and it isn't too high) then maybe you have some understanding on this, (doubtful, because it insults me, and not the poem) otherwise, at least PM me, instead of faceless insults

And to everybody else:

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Old 01-07-2005, 04:10 AM   #8
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Default

very tight poem man. I love it. By any chance is your name in reference to the beat generation and their poetry/literary stuff? any favorite poets you would reccomend?

brownie
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Old 01-07-2005, 04:51 AM   #9
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Yes it is quite related

Well, I'd say the best starting guys would be Jack Keroauc(uac?) and William S. Burroughs. My favourite authors by large. Dharma Bums by jack, and Naked Lunch by Burroughs are the best books I've read to far. But I'm still working on Visions of cody and junkie, and those may win out.
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