BazzKid

Im just looking for a opinion on this thing Im writing for my band, not done yet though (Im probably going to change the chorus since we repeat chorus a few times and it seems to me like the one I have now would lose meaning after bieng said once). This song is about weed basicly, after I started smoking there were a lot of friends of mine who wouldnt talk to me, now theres a girl who wouldve gone out with me if I didnt toke, my parents and brother are "dissapointed" and all thats what Im basing this song off of

(P.S. this is the second song ive ever wrote so if it sucks go easy)

Faded

(First Verse)
Im choking on time
there's a difference
beetween bieng out of the box
and bieng out of line
And I feel so
Faded
Those years spent
Wasted
Our lives are
Jaded
By the conviction
Of another victimless crime
Now theres blood on my hands
For bringing everyone down
they were too high anyway
I was too high anyway

(Chorus)
The Pains of Wintertime
Amplified
By the reason they said goodbye
So many backs turned away
What I do is my choice
No matter what you say
It doesnt get through your head
No matter what I say

(Second Verse)
Been here the whole time
feels like ive been gone
And days barely past
in my head is so long
We are
Seperated
By the problems
I created
I feel
Obligated
to mend the guilt with self control
Its not enough
not enough

LegalizIT!

Man you are creative. Keep on writing and toking if that is what you want to do.