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Prophet09

First off you will need some background on this story before you read this. This is my friend Bovard.-----> Except he has a flaming red afro and is a Irish fiend. One day sitting blitzed as hell in my friends attic, we were chonging and Bovard had on these really nice sunglasses. Reminding me of Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat. I also remember Goro smashing the hell out of them in the movie, and the urge to do so came up inside me. so I asked Bovard what he would do if I broke them Goro style. And he went into a big story about he could whip Goro's ass and totally destroy him. Not to mention beat Goro to death with his own arms. Well aftet these comments I decided to finish what would really happnen if Bovard fought Goro. So here is my story. "Side not, Dennis Oliver is a friend of mine who is pretty large and makes caveman noises at things when the dont work."

Bovard Vs Goro !
As Bovard sat in deep thought on the comfortable couch, the time grew near. Bovard was clueless to the danger that lurked nearby. As Bovard exhaled out of his indica meditation he was posed with a question that would truly challenge his ancient Irish rage, burning true in his flaming mane. Bovard sat tall and proud on his plus throne. His maniacal eyes shielded by jet black sunglasses, model 5495 duplication :009 of Johnny Cage's original set.
"Bovard those sunglasses are badass. You look just like Johnny cage in them." say's Tim. As Bovard cackled with glee due to the compliment or substance use, subtely another voice rang off in the for corner of the hazy playground.
"Bovard what if I broke you glasses Goro style and sat you down for good?" asked Justin. Slowly Bovard lifted his arms in fury to demonstrate his over imagined idea he claimed! "No way dude! I would kick the **** outta Goro anyday."
"Even if Goro looks like a total badass with six arms?" hailed Justin
"Dude I would rip off Goro's arms and beat him to death with them." replied Bovard enthusiastically."
"Oh reallly?" Justin replied.
"Dude, Goro would whoop your ass Bovard." laughed Tim
"No! I would literally go berserk and beat Goro into a puddle with all six of his gigantic arms!"
"Bull****." said Justin
"Look at the glasses." said Bovard. "Do they lie? Hey man whats that music?"
"What music?" asked Justin
"This music! Mortal Kombat!" screamed Tim
*MORTAL KOMBAT MUSIC ENGAGES HERE
"What the ****!" yelled Bovard. "What in the hell is going on!"
As the music started getting louder and louder Bovards clothing turned into flaming red ninja gear. The room was swept clear of all obstacles. The ground grew foggy, carefully Bovard stood up, and his HP bar appeared instantly above his head.
"Bovard!!" echoed a anoouncers voice "Versus! Goroooo!
"haha. oh ****..." Bovard gulped "Goro? You out there! See he is to ***** to even show up, didnt want me to whoop his aaaassss!!!! ahhhhhh!"
Bovard was suddenly interupted as Goro came flying out of nowhere. He slammed Bovard down, beating on him relentlessly with his six gargantuan arms. Slowly Bovard melted into pretty much pulp, as his last gurgles of a cry came out, this is what could be deciphered "Dont you ****ing break my glasses!
SNAPPPPPPPPP!!! .........
Oooooooooooo dam..... Who would of thought that the sound of Bovards neck breaking would sound just like a pair of kickass sunglasses breaking. Tim and Justin sat in in Complete awe Goro thundered over to the couch and took a earth shaking seat.
"Dude, Goro what the **** are you doing.... Thats my seat." said Tim
Goro's fists curled and he looked at Tim with the ferocity of a pregnant Giant Panda. Tim decided it was best to let Goro cool down a bit. As the minutes passed and Goro chose to remain seated, a plan formulated in Justin's mind.
"Pssssst. Tim hand me the bong dude." whispered Justin
"I don't think this is a very good time."
"Grr! Just give it to me for a second, I want to try something."
Tim threw down his arm and grabed the bong, slowly passing it to Justin. As the bong was passed Goro's depressive little face followed it intently.
"Alittle white, a little widow, and hell of a lot of crystal." whispered Justin mischievously.
"Goro?" asked Justin
"Urghe?" replied Goro with a grunt that sounded like Dennis Oliver running to doors when the won't open.
"Here litte buddy, use fire here, mouth on top, and breathe in." explained Justin
Goro noded and took the beloved intsrument de Sativa into his large arms and ripped bowl in one hit. Goro coughed a monstrous storm of smoke. When the smoke cleared Goro appeared.. overwhemled. He was crying to the pitch of a 6 yr old girl. Whimpering and coughing about his fragile lungs. Tim and Justin took advantage of the newfound weakness in Goro. They slowly loaded Goro 28 gram bowls in a 30 minute sitting "2 minutes for coughing". Goro was crying freely now, and laughing, smiling , and frowning at the same time. He was obviously so high he completely broke down.
"Iam so sssorryyyy." Weeped Goro
"About what?" asked Tim and Justin
"About your friend Bovard, the raging red Irish warrior."
"He talked to much **** anyway Goro, dont worry about it man. I would done the exact same thing if he would of said he could beat me with my own arms."
"I supose your right. Thanks for being my only friends, I must go now and seek my underground lair where my emotions dont exist. Just must lust for fight."
"Don't mention it, you hold up ok down there Goro." said Justin
Goro noded. Stood up to leave and put his hand down on the couch to lift himself up.
SNAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!! .....
Dam, now those were definitely Bovards pimp ass sunglassses snapping in half. When the sunglasses snapped the ancient luck of the Irish Bovard possessed in his body was rekindled. He was than ressurected from his bloddy grave. Raving Bovard yelled his Irish battlecry and leaped on Goro with all intensity of the God's. The room rumbled and roared as Bovard savagely ripped off all of Goro's six arms and rapidly beat him to death with them.
"HAHA! I told you I could beat him to death with all of his arms!" screamed Bovard.
"Dude... Bovard what the ****. Goro was cool." said Justin
"Ya, you asshole. Goro was a nice guy." said Tim
"But... he killed me... And you guys doubted me." whimpered Bovard
"Oooook Bovard, always blame killing someone on account of them killing you." said Justin
"Im out." said Tim
" Me too" said Justin
Bovard standing all alone in the attic, still clutching Goro's gigantic arms thought "Ya.... But I still kicked the **** outta Goro with his own arms! HA!"


The End - Ps: I was extremely not sober when I wrote this.

 

Justintime

That was so awesome.