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Old 08-26-2006, 06:27 PM   #1
JnEverett
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Default Poem: Cycle of life

This popped into my head as I was waking up this morning. I tried to get to a pen and paper in time though it partialy escaped me. Anyway its been years since I have written anything so let me know what you think.


What once was there is no more.

What has come to be has come to pass.

Now the nothing has grown anew, and it too shall come to pass as all do.

All that is was once new and shall come to be.
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:30 PM   #2
PurpleCorn
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well, you certainly have a masterful yet confusing way with words. They twist around my conscious and strangle it with sagaciousness. I notice that you have a tendency to use tenses and spatial references in much the same way that Mike Tyson might use a chicken to pick a lock. It works, but it gets feathers everywhere.

I know that it's rather crude compared to the elegant style of writing you have, but I think I got to the crux of what you're poem is saying.

Something is there and then it isn't.

Something is about to happen but it already did.

The newest thing that's not happening will happen at the same time as everything else.

The same things will happen over and over and over again.


Right? I think I got it. Whew, man, when I read it over...that's pretty intense. You think up some good stuff right after you've woken up.
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:38 PM   #3
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Default

thanks for the review, I truly appreciate any input. I have always had a strange way of writing. I think I will post story I wrote in middle school, its kind of twisted. As for this little thing, I like your interpretation. I guess my htought as I was thinking it was:

What once was there is no more.
(something was alive and has died)

What has come to be has come to pass.
(Same thing stated a little different, different tense)

Now the nothing has grown anew, and it too shall come to pass as all do.
(something new has taken the deads place and it too shall die)

All that is was once new and shall come to be.
(everything that exist was once a "new born" and will come to maturity)
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:30 PM   #4
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oooh...I was close...
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Old 09-19-2006, 04:32 AM   #5
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Man that was awesome, seriously that is some good stuff. One suggestion is that u might wanna end sometin at the end because its flowin really nice and easy n all of a sudden it stops. You talk about life then death, life then death, but then u talk about new life, and maturity to end it? Awesome poem though man, mad respekt.
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