mastachronic

digging up memories
(this story is written from a first person perspective, so dont get the wrong idea and think i actually did this, please)

this story requires a little background information as to why i chose my grandma, she always loved to play pranks and would help me out with anything if she could, so i figured she'd want to help me with this.


one day, when i was still in middle school, i mouthed off in class and didnt get out in time so the security caught me and took me to the principals office.

as soon as the guards left he closes the door and starts calling me a "worthless no-good rotten piece of shit who wont amount to anything in life and should die" etc etc etc and this pissed me off, but i took it, because he's the principal and i didnt feel like getting 2 weeks ISS, so he calls my mom and she comes to the school and talks to him for a while.

i tried to tell her all the nasty shit he said to me, but i wasnt believed. when i got home i was sent to my room, good for me, i needed a bowl.

after i had smoked, i started to think how i could get him back for the injustice done to me, thats when i saw a picture of my grandma on my dresser and suddenly, inspiration hit me like a bag of turtles.

the next day, i talked to my two closest friends about my plan, they said they would help me and the plans were drawn out, we were to go to the new cemetary where she was buried and dig her up, she had died only three weeks ago and would still be pretty fresh.

she was so small in life that she could fit into a large duffelbag, provided she had her legs folded, so that was to be the means of concealing her. we were to wear gloves so they couldnt have any proper identification on her and halloween masks to hide our faces to prevent identification in case we were discovered, that and it just seemed the correct thing to do when performing such an act as what we were going to perform.

the appointed night came and we met under a giant oak tree before proceeding to the burial ground, i wore a latex mask i had made in art class earlier in that month for halloween, it had shaggy2dope clown paint sealed on it while my friends had matching skull masks.

we got there and scouted around, looking for any security, we found none and stalked over to my grandmothers grave. i was the first to gouge the earth with my shovel while my friends laid back for a while, after a while of digging, i had finally struck the top of her coffin and dug the rest of the dirt off while my friends climbed out. i discovered that there was some sort of a liner over the coffin and had to dig around the edges and lift it off. i ripped open the lid and the smell hit me, it made me want to gag, and i would have thrown up except for the fact i did that before i left.

i got the rest of it off and looked at her by the moonlight, she seemed so preserved! maybe skinnier, but it wasnt what i had expected at all, i had thought she would look so decayed and rotten, with worms and parasites crawling all over her, but it wasnt so. i then realized, how was i to get her up? i had dug myself into a pretty deep hole and i wasnt strong enough to throw her over the top.

so i did the only thing i could, i picked her up, and she was so light, i had only to set her on her feet and lift her up as far as i could and my friends dragged her the rest of the way up.

once i had climbed out, i got work bending her knees, i thought they would be stiff with rigor mortis, but no, they bent easily to my touch. we got her in the bag and proceeded to take turns carrying her to the principal's house.

we finally got there, and discovered that the lights were off, so we assumed he was asleep, seeing as his car was in the driveway.

we propped her up with her back on the front door of his house, a place he would be sure to see it, and would never expect it, generating maximum terror and surprise when he steps out the door to go to school.

before we left we went to the side of his house and smoked a joint, we went home, but i couldnt sleep, i had just dug up my own grandmother and put her in the front doorway of my principals house, god this was gonna be so funny.....

the principal didnt show up to school the next day, rumors were going around that he was sick, yeah right, sick to the stomache.

when i got home that day i found out my mom had to go to the coroners office to identify my grandma and make a statement to the police. i found out why my principal didnt go to school, he had died of a heart attack.

XT Dream

"Wow... Thats one of the most insane stories I have ever heard.
Seriously...
How could you do that? I mean... GOD.
Tsch.
I dont even know what to say.

I cant believe you did that! Dug up your own Grandmother's grave...
WTF?

My mind really is in shambles cuz of this story!
Sorry, I just dont know."

__________________
" Jobs and Haircuts.
Two of my greatest fears.
Reality too.
Amen.

XT Dream

"!!!!
WHOOPS!
Just read the parenthesis.
Really thought you did that!

Tsch.

Still... ha."

mastachronic

pretty well written tho, i think

XT Dream

"Ha, very well written.
As you can tell I really thought it was true!
HAHA.
Good story. Very believable."

brokensoulbs

this story is way too rad I need to rip my bowl, going to read more ha. Well-done!

mastachronic

yo thanks
keep on toking

kez

haha, lucky i read the top part of your post otherwise i would be saying "WTF, how could you do this?" but i did so im not guna say that

pretty intense story. well written though, pretty deep.

so in real life do you actually really hate your principle that much (how much, if any of that story is true?)

peace.

esther-alice

holly shit
thats awful!
lmfao
man...dead grannies thats rank haha

peace out

Perplexed Pixie

Now thats an Imagenation.

__________________