smokesbob

This was written on an airplane from Pittsburgh to Las Vegas for the Vegoose music festival. It is an imagined tale of what the two elderly ladies would do one their first day in Las Vegas (no part of their actual trip is described).

Just from listening to these two old ladies I can infer this:
They like to gamble and by their conversation they seem to take plenty of trips to the desert to do such. But, they are not your typical gamblers who will sit at a table and play with chips and human beings. These ladies will sit at the nickel slots for hours a day with their plastic buckets thinking they are going to hit it big, a whole 5 dollars. After they play their slots and drink atleast 4 cups of coffee in the morning they will hit the brunch buffet at the oldest and worst casino in town. Its not that they really like the food but they have been going their since the Hoover administration and why stop now?
After their big afternoon lunch, it is off to the bingo tables with a grand prize of a free lunch buffet. No fucking way! After coming real close in bingo and giving it all they had, they are pooped and in need of their 4:30pm nap. They nap while catching the tale end of ‘As the World turns’. If you have watched the show everyday for the past thirty years its hard to go day to day without seeing some part of the show.
Nap time was a good time, its interesting you start life off with taking naps in the midday; then you get old, then you get older, and now you are in need of naps again. Just something I find interesting.
Well after napping and spraying a full can of Aqua Net into their hairdos they are off for a late dinner, 6:30pm at the dinner buffet that is 3 dollars off with every loss of 25 dollars or more at the casino. Since these ladies only play nickel slots they are trying to convince the hostess to combine their losses and they will split the 3 dollars off. After some forceful words the hostess gives in but makes sure that the old ladies know that next time they will be paying for two meals instead of splitting one.
Wow, dinner was good, at one point they swore Frank Sinatra Jr. came to their table. But without their glasses on they will never be sure, but it didn’t stop them from calling the bridge club back at home and yelling into the phone ‘Guess who I saw?” Well, its back to the nickel slots for free drinks until they wait on line for any left over tickets to see Lance Burton at a discounted price.

Enjoy!