Drug Testing - The Definitive Guide
URINE SUBSTITUTION
This method works for every urine test, every time (provided that some conditions are met). You simply give them clean urine (from a “donor”) or synthetic urine. This works very well if you're not observed. If you are going to be observed, then this method may not work for you. Females have been known to keep a condom or a small plastic container with a flip top lid, filled with a clean urine sample in the vagina, and prick it with a sharp fingernail to piss under supervision.
There is no way you can talk a collector out of observing when protocol calls for an observed test. An observed test is warranted if you have been caught with adulteration or substitution materials in your possession, you have failed a drug test in the past, Your specimen fails to meet certain criteria (such as temperature or color) you are in the military or been ordered by the courts to participate in drug testing. People in the military, on active duty are always observed. The observer must watch the urine flow from the body into the collection cup. If it is done correctly, you cannot beat it. The good news is that it is rarely done correctly. Simply being in the room with a donor is not adequate, but that is usually what is done. If the observer doesn’t look closely, or allows you to turn your back (male), then you might be able to get away with subbing while taking an observed test. This is what is known as a monitored test. The only legitimate reason for a monitored test is if the collector cannot secure all water sources (as in a multi-stall restroom) or the restroom has more than one entrance/exit.
If you test is not observed, you can substitute easily. It is recommended that you practice your substitute technique until you feel comfortable doing it. That way, you can overcome problems such as leaky containers, inadequate temperature, noisy caps, etc.
Simply conceal the urine. As soon as you are alone in the restroom, pour your substitute urine in the collection cup. Be sure you can quietly open the container; the collector will probably be within earshot of the restroom and will hear any unusual noises. You will not be required to change into a gown for a simple employment or court ordered test. IF you are taking a physical for employment purposes you may be asked to put on the gown at the beginning of the office visit. If so, then just tell the nurse that you need to “go” really badly and can’t wait. Could you be allowed to give your specimen now instead of waiting for the doctor to come into the room? Usually they will take pity on you and lead you to the restroom immediately to give the specimen, then lead you to the exam room after.
A travel size shampoo container works best for substitution. Simply clean the bottle thoroughly, then fill with clean urine. Tape the bottle to your underwear or place between two pairs of underwear, snugly in your crotch. If you are worried about maintaining proper temperature (between 90 – 100 degrees), you can heat the specimen in a glass of hot coffee, water or other beverage, or you can tape a hand warmer (sold in most sporting good stores) to the outside of the container. This should maintain the temperature for about 8-10 hours.
A specimen “donated” by a clean friend or family member can be kept in the crotch for up to 10-12 hours. You can keep a specimen at room temperature for up to 2 days without refrigeration. If you need to keep the specimen longer, it can be refrigerated for up to a week. Longer storage will require that the specimen to be frozen. Frozen urine is good in an airtight container for up to a year.
Do not attempt to inject urine into the bladder. Some have claimed to be able to do this using a syringe or catheter. The risk of infection is simply not worth it. Get some perspective here. If you need to pass a drug test that badly, you shouldn’t have been using marijuana in the first place. Remember: The only 100% sure fire way to pass a drug test is to not use drugs.
Sources for clean urine
Donor
You can substitute someone else's urine. If in doubt whether your friend’s urine will pass a test, you can purchase home tests and integrity strips off the internet. Simply do a Google search for drug tests or integrity strips and choose your vendor. It doesn’t matter if your donor is of the opposite sex or pregnant. If your donor is menstruating, as long as no visible blood has gotten into the specimen, it is fine. If the specimen is visibly bloody and you are male, you might have a hard time explaining this to the collector. What does matter is if your donor is taking prescription medication that will be detected. If so, you will need all the information regarding your donor’s medical condition including: The ailment, doctor’s name, medication, prescription number off the bottle the last dosage and time taken and the dosage instructions. It might just be better to find another donor.
Age, gender, pregnancy, medical conditions, etc., are not tested during a drug test. The last thing the laboratory wants to do is extra work. They are paid to test for a certain array of substances. They are not going to find the exact chemical properties of your urine, including any hormones that may be present. Your specimen will be tested to see if it contains certain drugs and if it has qualities consistent with human urine. Nothing more, nothing less.
Synthetic
Synthetic urine has human qualities, so it will pass validity testing and it does not contain banned substances, so it will pass drug testing. You can obtain synthetic urine over the internet. There are several vendors available and a range of prices. Make sure that the vendor you choose to purchase from will ship to your area. You might even be able to find a distributor in your area. Most head shops or smoke shops will sell synthetic urine if it is legal in your State.
Making your own powdered urine
Urinate in a glass container. Let it evaporate. Then scrape the inside for the concentrate. Just mix it with water before the test, and the sample will have the correct specific gravity, pH, color, etc. Sounds good huh? NOT! This is much more work and takes much more time than you have. In the time it takes you to evaporate your urine and scrape the residue from the container, you could have found a clean donor or bought synthetic off the internet.
Dog urine
I heard from Dr. Grow that dog urine (of all things) can be substituted, and will pass the test! This is false. Canine urine has different specific gravity than human urine. It will be determined to be a specimen not consistent with human urine and you will receive an adulterated result. That is equivalent to failing the drug test. Besides, do you really want to follow Fido around the yard with a little cup? Have some pride people!
