Greenbud

Mulling over the swab squad
By John Elder | The Age | June 27, 2004

Duff Beer is the brew favoured by Homer Simpson, which he drinks at home on the couch as a fun way of passing time. Curiously, the director of research at the Australian Drug Foundation is a man named Duff - Dr Cameron Duff - who kind of declared this week that drugs, notably party drugs, are the new beer.

"Drug use seems to have become a leisure activity in its own right," he said, citing a foundation survey of 380 peppy Melbourne nightclubbers.

In short, pillin' and chillin' are now "mainstream".

Dr Duff made a careful call for national policy makers to "rethink" their approach to managing the heartland's latest hobby.

His comments made news, but inspired no outrage.

Consider, on Friday night a real-life Edna Everage called Radio National talkback to say that expelling school students found smoking weed wouldn't deter other students from bonging on.

"Kids smoke marijuana," she said. "It's just a fact of life."

She could well have been talking about the quality of lamingtons at a church fete, such was her shrugging tone.

Certainly, John Howard isn't slapping his forehead with amazement and a Homer-like, "Doh!" But the random drug testing by Victoria Police of 9000 motorists over the next 12 months might do it.

The world-first experiment begins in four days - at least that's when the police officially get their powers to conduct the testing. The first roadside swabbing is actually some weeks away; the technology isn't in the hands of the police yet.

The sampling of drivers won't give us a definitive picture of Australia as a stoner nation - yet it promises to make a compelling one.

When the drug test kits turn up, and if they hold up, we'll know if drug-driving exceeds drink-driving's popularity. More fatal accidents involve drugs than drink - and drink-driving is very popular indeed. Consider the recent blitz on the West Gate Bridge: a boozer at the wheel caught every four minutes.

During the drug trial, drivers will be tested for cannabis and speed - and not the full range of popular party favourites, including the top whiz, ecstasy. It's presumed that a good number of E-users will be nabbed, because speed is widely used to cut the huggy drug - one bound to invisibly confuse the trial's analysis and resulting profile.

Also confused are the subscribers to marijuana.com. A newspaper story about the drug test trial was posted on the site last month, birthing a discussion board featuring many people with dope-related nicknames - some outraged about their bodies being invaded (by the swab), but many more of a mellow disposition who considered the police campaign a reasonable idea.

Bongwater writes: "Yeah, I'm for it if it can show recent traces, like within the last four hours. But if it can't tell when you used a drug, then it is ridiculous and shouldn't be allowed." Smoking Joe Lee, likewise: "I don't like the idea of anyone driving while intoxicated but... when testing for alcohol, there is an agreed-upon level that says, 'You're wasted!' Will the swab system work in a similar way?"

Put your dreamy minds at ease, fellas. I called George Svigos, media adviser to Police Minister Andre Haermeyer. George says the swabs will pick up the good stuff within two to three hours of smoking it.

A helpful tip: stock up on munchies before twisting up. No more late night dashes to the 7-Eleven.

__________________
"I believe in the near future, the government will use anti-drug hysteria to set up a police state."
-author William S. Burroughs, 1947

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