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Buzzby

Narcs vs. Potheads
Mary Ann Akers | NORML (Source:Roll Call) | 05/17/2005

It would have been the zaniest game of the softball season. But it seems the Narcs are too chicken to play a bunch of stoners.

The One Hitters, the softball team of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, claim they've been trying to play ball ( literally ) against the Office of National Drug Control Policy for years. Finally, this year, it looked like the Bush administration's ONDCP office, also known as the drug czar, was going to come through.

The game was all set for Wednesday, June 8, between the One Hitters and We Czar the Champions. But then the drug czar's office removed the game from their schedule, saying they couldn't muster enough players for that particular game. ( They did, however, have enough players last week in their game against the Commerce Department. )

The One Hitters tried to reschedule, but the captain of We Czar the Champions said they were "booked through August."

Now the once-docile potheads are irate.

"Obviously one of the 'higher ups' at ONDCP saw the schedule and nixed the game," NORML's spokesman, Nick Thimmesch, told HOH. "Perhaps they were spooked by the notion of BYOB ( bring your own bong )!

Kris Krane, NORML's associate director and co-captain of the One Hitters, said: "For years the ONDCP has been unwilling to engage drug policy reformers in a serious debate on the issues. Now they even refuse to engage us in a friendly game of softball."

Tom Riley, a spokesman for the drug czar's office, said there was 'no grand policy formulation' to dodge playing the One Hitters. He said the stoners couldn't possibly have tried to play We Czar the Champions for years, because the team is brand new.

"This just goes to show the effects of marijuana use on judgment and reasoning," Riley joked.

At first he toed the party line and blamed his team's decision not to play the One Hitters on a dearth of players. But then he thought better of it and decided it was a policy decision after all.

"I wouldn't think we would play any team that promotes drug use," Riley said, adding, "that includes teams that promote smoking meth or smoking crack."

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grillmeats

That would've been a game that could bring in some money for NORML. Maybe the government didn't want to take a chance on losing.
That's

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cassiusclay

Did anyone see the old Burt Reynolds movie "The Longest Yard" ?

Cons against the Guards...

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FitShaced

Wait, where did it say they have been trying to play the team for years? I read they had been trying to debate the ONDCP for years yadda yadda. Unless the ONDCP is refering to a different quote that wasnt mentioned in this article.

So, would that make me smarter than the ONDCP for noticing their stupidity?

Buzzby

No. It just makes you careless for not reading the article. Or stoned for not remembering what you read.

First sentence, second paragraph:

"The One Hitters, the softball team of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, claim they've been trying to play ball ( literally ) against the Office of National Drug Control Policy for years."

 

FitShaced

Actually, i was d***k when i read the article. Damn, i looked over that thing like 3 times too before i posted that and i still missed it

But it could still be possible for the bong hitters to have been requesting the ONDCP to play them softball. Hey, maybe thats the reason they made the team in the first place.

Hygrow

I wonder if Mr. Riley would consider playing a softball team which supported Panadol for instance.

Buzzby

These statements are not necessarily in conflict. NORML could want to play softball against the ONDCP even though they didn't have a team yet or, perhaps, they had a different team in the past.


If NORML can lower itself to play a team that makes its living by lying to the American people, it's awfully small-minded of the ONDCP not to find it's way clear to play softball with its opponents. You can't have a dialogue when one side denies the other's existence.

cassiusclay

They don't want to play because they could lose. All their lies would lose strength as well. If stoners can beat them at something as all-american as softball, what does that say about their opinion that stoners are disfunctional druggies?

It would be more than a victory on the field. Its about bragging rights. Office guys have only golf and softball to prove their manhood. Subconsciously, they don't feel like "real men" sitting behind a desk.

PotShot

"Some people say" that the ONDCP won't play ball because they all have
emphysema... this is a result of the the cigarette smoke that perpetually wafts through the lie dens in their corner of the white house.

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