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Hashishi

Rizlas to carry 'cannabis tedium' warning
2-11-`07 | The Daily Mash



RIZLA cigarette papers are to carry warnings that excessive cannabis smoking makes you incredibly boring and likely to bore others around you.

The warnings follow new research into the dangers of so-called 'passive tedium' which show that people exposed to cannabis smokers are often incredibly bored by the experience.

Dr Wayne Hayes, director of reefer at the Institute for Studies, said: "You may think that your incoherent theories about the nature of music are interesting. But the fact is, they are unbelievably boring and you have to shut up.

He added: "The danger is other people become so bored they start to throw up and before you know it you have to make yourself look interesting by growing dreadlocks.

"It's about as cutting edge and rebellious as my Gran. Reggae? Thump, thump, thump. Batty boys, Mr Bombastic. What a lot of pish."

A series of warnings will be printed on each individual Rizla paper including:

Smoking cannabis while pregnant will make your baby boring

Cannabis smoking will lead to a slow and painful conversation

Don't stab people in the eye when you go all psycho and shit

Health minister Alan Johnson said that every day cannabis smoking bores 19,000 Europeans who don't smoke cannabis.

He added: “We're urging moderation. There's no need to roll a really fat one first thing in the morning, unless you have a stressful job like driving a train."

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<Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical features

<Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened pellets making up a complex head

<Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest thing I'll have to a son

<bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs than every authority figure I've met in my entire life.

<Taki> I do what I can

 

SirSmokaALot

Wow... this shows anti-drug people are running out of so called "facts" to scare people away from this magical herb.

Hashishi

Did you mix the threads up? This one`s the funny- the other one`s the serious report.

SirSmokaALot

Ah... whoops...

Well i kinda knew this was the fake one because of that 3rd warning with "shit" in it, i just didn't want to make a effort to show that i knew that.... and other one is so sad that i had to laugh to cheer myself up at the stupidity of "important" people

Buzzby

This shows that some potheads can't recognize a joke when they see one.

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Lit_Match

I'm guessing this is satire, but if rizla is actually putting these labels on their papers I have to give them credit for having huge balls.

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