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Marijuana makes you sell your babies and kill old men
05-16-08|The Entertainer|Satire by Jake TenPas

Corvallis Community Theatre warns us all about the dangers of a deadly illegal drug with ‘Reefer Madness’

I was on the road to ruin. I was considering trying the new fad of “toking up,” “getting high,” “freaking out,” “beaming up,” “bugging out” and “tripping the light fantastic.”

All the kids are doing it, I told myself.

Fortunately for me, as well as babies, teenagers and old men everywhere, I had the common sense to attend a showing of Corvallis Community Theatre’s new educational musical, “Reefer Madness.”

The curtain goes up at 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 16, with additional showings at 7:30 p.m. May 17, 22, 23, 24, 28, 29, 30 and 31, and at 2:30 p.m. May 18, 25 and June 1. Tickets cost $12 for adults and $11 for seniors over age 65, students with ID and children under 18. But really, what price can you put on your sobriety? Remember, you’re never too young nor too old to learn about the insidious, creeping menace that is marijuana addiction.

A quick note, however: While you might never be too young to learn how to avoid becoming a slave to the madness of marijuana, you can be too young for some of the mature subject matters presented in “Reefer Madness.” Parents are advised to think twice before bringing young children to this provocative exploration of the dangers of hard-core drug abuse.

Now that we’ve got that bit of unpleasantness out of the way, let’s talk about what exactly makes “Reefer Madness” such a useful tool for sidestepping the bondage of pot addiction.

It’s a great (and true) story

The musical follows the misadventures of little Mary Lane (Ashleigh Howington) and Jimmy Harper (Kyle Cowgill), two teen sweethearts perched on the precipice overlooking the valley of young love. Little do they know that the evil specter of marijuana is lurking behind every shadow, waiting to pounce on young love and tear out its heart like a cat on a songbird.

The Lecturer (Drew Davidson) recounts the sad — and, he assures us, true — tale of Jimmy’s descent into addiction and madness, fueled simply by his innocent desire to learn how to dance so he can impress Mary. Lured in by nefarious dope pusher Jack (Dan Rayfield), Jimmy soon finds himself carousing with damaged woman Mae (Lindsey Earp), foxy floozie Sally (Sophie Jubert) and straight-up, stone-cold dope fiend Ralph (Tommy Dye).

Before long, he’s taking part in all the rituals of reefer culture, from having underage sex out of wedlock to giggling for no good reason, from trading his class ring for drugs to killing defenseless old men. Not only that, but he even manages to pull poor, sweet, innocent Mary into his terminal downward trajectory.

Director Miranda Prince has truly performed a public service by bringing us this play. She has the courage to look unflinchingly into the gaping maw of the beast that is pot culture, and refuse to feed it when it gets the munchies.

The actors set a high standard

Cowgill brings the fervor of an evangelical missionary to his performance as the good-hearted but misdirected Jimmy. With the looks of James Marsden and the physical comedy technique of John Ritter, he transforms Rivers Cuomo’s character from Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” video into a living, breathing indictment of drug culture.

At his side is the lovely Howington, who matches Cowgill step-for-step in portraying the full range of behavior hopheads can go through in the cycle of their addiction. As the doe-eyed Mary of the first act, she’s sweet enough to make you crave a glass of grapefruit juice. As the depraved demon of the second act, she’ll have you running in terror from her wanton sexual depravity.

Speaking of, Jubert is perfect as the reefer-soaked harlot Sally. She’s got a voice on her like a siren, and it’s easy to see how a poor, naive boy such as Jimmy might be pulled into her orbit. Sally is sexy, vacant and seductive, like the demon weed itself.

Perhaps best of all, however, is Dye, as the dried-up husk of a man. With his insane cackling, beady eyes, twitchy mannerisms and messy hair, he’s the very portrait of a man who’s succumbed to the siren song of The Chronic. Even when he takes on the role of a dope-addled baby or a sadistic executioner, he darn near manages to steal the show.

You can bug out to the funky beat

When Jimmy first tries the weed, he’s instantly sucked into a world of dancing pothead pixies. The chorus (Amanda Bounds, Katie Kalk, Valerie Carson, Daryn Bergsma, Emily Robinson, Shannon McInally, Jordan Herrington, Jacob Bonnett and Matthew Shivers) cavort around the stage like the depraved, soulless husks of humans they represent.

The music, played by a live band consisting of Isaac Jones (bass), Ray Drupek (piano), Andy Weiss (drums) and Ron Koken and Don Phillips on woodwinds, creates a dark, intoxicating, Middle-Eastern-tinged disco beat that will have you practically leaping out of your seat to join in the bacchanal. But remember: That’s just what marijuana wants!

Elsewhere, the title song will get stuck in your head like a stoned rat in a complex maze, Jesus shows up to sing about getting high on Him, and peer pressure is distilled to its purest essence in a multi-part chant. It’s all enough to make you want to follow Jimmy into pet-beating, fur coat-stealing, mother-loving madness. Don’t give in to its wicked exhortations!

Coda: The big comedown

Finally, some people will say that you shouldn’t glorify marijuana by putting on a play about it. Those people clearly have never experienced the solemn, serious message of “Reefer Madness.” It will scare you so straight that you won’t even remember what crooked looked like anymore.

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Donation links to NORML (The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws) | MPP (Marijuana Policy Project)

 

mufasa5446

Doubt any of them have ever tried marijuana. lol

WOW... I better stop before I sell my mom and dad for more weed, since you know my job doesn't pay me enough. Er wait, I don't think I'm supposed to have a job am I? That's right! I'm a pothead! I guess I need to go quit my job. I suppose that means I shouldn't graduate high school either, or continue my volunteer work as an EMT. You know what, screw med. school. I'm a pothead.

Personally I'm offended by this play. This is the most ridicules thing I've ever heard of dealing with anti-marijuana "protests". This is more one sided than what I learned in school about marijuana.

Two words describe that play: "BULL SHIT"

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none but ourselves can free our minds

Trocisp

Uhhh, who wants to get really high and go see it?

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"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried." - Sir Winston Churchill
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vvicked0471

Please god not this bullshit again!!

I think I'll make my own play about the reality of smoking pot. I'll get a TV set up on stage and a comfy couch. I'll bring my bong along pack up a nice big bowl of the best stuff I can find. Smoke the whole thing then stare at the TV for awhile only moving to get my munchies (which I forgot to mention) and my drink, hell I might even get real edgy and take a nap. Then after the show I'll be promptly arrested for being the nuisance to society that all potheads are...

Freedom_User

The last 2 post I've read from you today Tro, is pure hilarious genius. Your on a roll.

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SpiralArchitect

Um.

Guys, I think this is satire.
heh..... Still pretty outrageous.

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I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm,
to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

Trocisp

So I read...

Joke wouldn't have been funny if I had mentioned that, though.

quickie

well I'm thinking the real question here is exactly HOW MUCH could I get for my baby??? Are we talking just like BMW money or Lamborghini money? You know, just out of curiosity

Kushable

Well if the old mans about to die anyway......