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suede

The picture perfect breakfast.
Your son's face on the Wheaties box
Your mistress on the cover of playboy
and your wifes pic on the back of your milk carton.
B.suede

oh yeh ,and this isn't a joke either(next time you need a cop,......call a comedian instead

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End World Hunger

 

DoritosMan

2 frogs are flying around and one frog saz to the other "frogs dont fly" so they fall and die!
sorry i made this one up

another bad joke

2 markets are flying around and one market saz to the other "markets dont fly" and the other one goes, " i do, coz im SUPER-Market!"

heheh, sorry

this little kid wines to his mom "mommy i dont like my little brother!" and she goes "alright just eat your peas then!" <--- this is a good one

i´ll remember some more later

over

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another tasteless and odorless latin american

I pity the fool that dont use the search engine!

LuCkY_B

Im not to good at this. -

2 guys sitting at a sky bar on the 24th floor of a building. After a few drink one guy walks to the sliding door and out onto the balcony. He calls to the other guy
"He man come out here, I wanna show ya something". The other guy follows him out there.
"yeah?"
"If you jump off this balcony the updraft when you hit the 13th floor will send you right back to this spot", he points to where hes standing.
"HA!, im not crazy"
"Ok watch Ill do it" He hands his drink to the other guy and steps off the balcony plummeting to the ground, 19th floor, 18th floor, 15th, 13th..... then he starts coming back up... and lands where he was before
"OH MY GOD THATS AMAZING" he hands the man his drink back.
"Yeah man you should try it, its great"
"I dont think so, It cant be safe..."
"Oh c'mon man its easy nothing to it, just jump"
"Nothin to it eh... well I dunno"
"Watch" He hands the man his drink again and jumps off.. 18 floor, 17th floor, 14th, 13th, and starts coming back up and lands in the same spot. "C'mon give it a try, its great"
"Oh Fine what the hell" he hands the other guy back his drink and tells him to hold his. He jumps. 19th floor, 16th floor, 15th floor, 12th.....8th....2nd....Floor....dead..
The other slides open the door and sits down chuckling to himself, the bartender approaches him and says "Ya know Superman, your pretty mean when your drunk"

PeacePipe

what goes " clop clop clop bang bang clop clop"?



an amish drive-by


why do gorillas have big nostrils?


they have big fingers.


why dont blind people like to sky-dive?



scares the sh*t out of there dogs..


i know there lame...

Daniel

I accidently ran into this while doing a search on the "Net":

A certain college professor was notorious for getting offthe topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject:the evils of marijuana.Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors:"Used regularly, pot can cause psychic disorientation,sterility, cancer and castration!""Now wait a minute, Professor," interrupted a student."Castration?!? That's absurd!""No young man, it's sadly true," replied the Teacher smugly."Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!"

 

PatoBanton

What did the 8 say to the 0?

Nice Belt

kodajake22

Two Irish women chatting in the back yard, one say's to the other..."How have ye been, Mrs Kelly? ...Mrs Kelly replied, "Oh I haven't been feeling myself lately, Mrs Maguire." and Mrs Maguire say's, "Oh that's grand Mrs Kelly, t'was a filthy habit ya had anyway".

grassmike

A few months ago the BBC website took joke contributions and this was my favorite joke.

A ghost floats into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender replied, "We do not serve spirits here."

bo-battie

an old man is describing a restaurant he and his wife went to the night before to a friend.
"what was it called?" his friend asks, to which the old man replies,
"uhh...what's that thing...you know....they're flowers, usually pink....they have thorns on them..."
"a rose?" his friend guesses.
"yeah," the old man replies, "HEY ROSE!" he calls to his wife, "what was the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

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250604
former cannabis analyst

"just because i stand above you doesn't mean you understand me"
--qwel

LilWhite

Here is a Dirty Joke!
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A boy Fell in the mud!!!!