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Center · 05-29-2004, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macphearsome

Here's a couple of puns, and jokes based on puns.
---------

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings in this bar".

So the piece of string, feeling dejected

, walks out of the bar.

But then he has an idea.

He ties himself into a knot, and ruffles up his hair. He then walks back into the bar. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just threw out of here?".

The piece of string says "No, I'm a frayed knot"

-------------
My family is terrible when it comes to puns. Here's a few examples.
My sister asks my dad, "Hey dad, are you making yams for dinner tonight?"
My dad responds. "I yam"

My chemistry teacher was explaining equilibrium: "Think of equilibrium as a toilet. It's at a certain level, then you add stuff to it. To make it reach a new equilibrium, you have to flush."
I said, "Mister Gill, that was a crappy analogy"

Please share your own puns.

heheheh, that first joke is pretty funny dood.

sideoftheroad · 05-29-2004, 02:26 PM

lol frayed knot, love it

The Wongs, a couple living in Manilla, had been trying to have a child for years. One day Mrs. Wong found out she was pregnant, to her husband's joy. When she finally gave birth they were all surprised that the baby had white features. Now during this time there were American GI's stationed in Manilla, so Mr. Wong was very suspicious. He talked to the village elder and showed him his child and asked if it was possible that he was the father. The village elder observed the child intently and replied 'I'm sorry, but two Wongs don't make a White.'

lol I hope I told it right, read it like 10 years ago from this ancient 'Book of Puns' owned by my grandfather

imported_the evil itch · 05-30-2004, 05:21 PM

omg!! racist racist !! ehehehehehehehe! oh what a laugh. (hey im a chink its coo)

Speshull_Ed! · 06-17-2004, 08:26 AM

Some Bacon, eggs, and toast walk into the bar and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

my god that's lame.

Weed_Warrior · 06-19-2004, 12:25 PM

I just remebered the punchline of the pun.. the rest is kinda blurry... neways..

A couple from the country had twins named Juan and Amall. Amall was sent to study at an University in the city while Juan helped his dad at home. So, one day, a distant relative came for a visit. Not finding Amall at the house, she asks the father,"How would i know Amall if i havent seen him?" to which the dad replies,"If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amall!".

Ernesto · 06-19-2004, 12:50 PM

that reminds me of this one...

What did the spanish fireman name his kids....?

Jose and Hose B

TimeGuardian · 06-19-2004, 05:05 PM

At the start of my grade 10 school year that just finished I had a teacher on my schedual that was named dicks. After being about halfway through the term somebody asked me how her class was and I yelled down the hall "mrs. Dicks is hard!"....

and then I laughed about it for awhile.

letsgethigh · 07-26-2004, 03:28 AM

about the equilibrium pun i dont get it could somebody explain

anonymity · 07-27-2004, 04:22 AM

Are you serious? The pun talked about toilets. Then he said the analogy was "crappy". Toilets have crap in them. Jeez.

06-19-2004, 05:05 PM	#27
TimeGuardian Jr. Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,383 Grams: 1,143.65 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	At the start of my grade 10 school year that just finished I had a teacher on my schedual that was named dicks. After being about halfway through the term somebody asked me how her class was and I yelled down the hall "mrs. Dicks is hard!".... and then I laughed about it for awhile. __________________ Consequences dictate a course of action... It doesen't matter what's right, it's only wrong if you get caught. - tool

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05-29-2004, 02:26 PM	#22
sideoftheroad Jr. Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 168 Grams: 1,143.90 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	lol frayed knot, love it The Wongs, a couple living in Manilla, had been trying to have a child for years. One day Mrs. Wong found out she was pregnant, to her husband's joy. When she finally gave birth they were all surprised that the baby had white features. Now during this time there were American GI's stationed in Manilla, so Mr. Wong was very suspicious. He talked to the village elder and showed him his child and asked if it was possible that he was the father. The village elder observed the child intently and replied 'I'm sorry, but two Wongs don't make a White.' lol I hope I told it right, read it like 10 years ago from this ancient 'Book of Puns' owned by my grandfather

05-30-2004, 05:21 PM	#23
imported_the evil itch New Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 25 Grams: 555.85 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	omg!! racist racist !! ehehehehehehehe! oh what a laugh. (hey im a chink its coo)

06-17-2004, 08:26 AM	#24
Speshull_Ed! New Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 94 Grams: 573.10 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Some Bacon, eggs, and toast walk into the bar and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast." my god that's lame.

06-19-2004, 12:25 PM	#25
Weed_Warrior New Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 30 Grams: 571.70 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I just remebered the punchline of the pun.. the rest is kinda blurry... neways.. A couple from the country had twins named Juan and Amall. Amall was sent to study at an University in the city while Juan helped his dad at home. So, one day, a distant relative came for a visit. Not finding Amall at the house, she asks the father,"How would i know Amall if i havent seen him?" to which the dad replies,"If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amall!".

06-19-2004, 12:50 PM	#26
Ernesto Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 814 Grams: 125.90 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	that reminds me of this one... What did the spanish fireman name his kids....? Jose and Hose B

07-26-2004, 03:28 AM	#28
letsgethigh New Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3 Grams: 554.85 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	about the equilibrium pun i dont get it could somebody explain

07-27-2004, 04:22 AM	#29
anonymity Banned Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 3,596 Grams: 1,694.66 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: -1.000%	Are you serious? The pun talked about toilets. Then he said the analogy was "crappy". Toilets have crap in them. Jeez.

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