macphearsome

Here's a couple of puns, and jokes based on puns.
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A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings in this bar".

So the piece of string, feeling dejected , walks out of the bar.

But then he has an idea. He ties himself into a knot, and ruffles up his hair. He then walks back into the bar. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just threw out of here?".

The piece of string says "No, I'm a frayed knot"

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My family is terrible when it comes to puns. Here's a few examples.
My sister asks my dad, "Hey dad, are you making yams for dinner tonight?"
My dad responds. "I yam"

My chemistry teacher was explaining equilibrium: "Think of equilibrium as a toilet. It's at a certain level, then you add stuff to it. To make it reach a new equilibrium, you have to flush."
I said, "Mister Gill, that was a crappy analogy"

Please share your own puns.

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"What if I want more than the pale facsimile of fulfillment brought by a parade of ever-fancier toys? To spend my life restlessly producing instead of sedately consuming? Is there an app for that?" - xkcd

Dino image from www.qwantz.com

HappyMan

[quote=macphearsome]Here's a couple of puns, and jokes based on puns.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Not Puns! Is there anything more evil?

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Bla.

and

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imported_the evil itch

My boyfriend's aunty lives near a gourd farm and every time his parents drive past it they make the "oh my gourd" joke. Sets the hairs bristling on my neck everytime... eew

HappyMan

I hate puns...........terrible and vile............

hauptmann

IMO Quick witty puns are ok. But for the most part puns are lame.

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lazitroll

......haha, interesting.

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[thegreatestloversaremurderersfirst]

Weed_Warrior

I dunno if dis is a pun or watevr...

A frog walks into a bank manager's office and asks for a loan. He claims that

he is the son of Mick Jagger. So the manager calls up Paddywhack, his

assistant, and sez,

"With a knick-knack, Paddywhack,
Give the frog a loan,
His old man's a Rolling Stone".

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Lo there do I see my Father, Lo there do I see my Mother, my Sisters and my Brothers.
Lo there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning,
They do bid me to take my place amongst them,
In the halls of Valhalla, Where the Brave may live Forever.

Ernesto

fromthe chinese store, i love the roast pork puns. mmmm

imported_the evil itch

OH it hurts IT HURTS! My gawd these puns burn my poor cultured sense of humour... and strangely aides my feelings of hunger for pork buns.... why could this be ...?

Ernesto

hahaha, thats very punny!!