Showering for Dummies

**Sofa King** · 05-05-2006, 05:20 PM

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull

off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

ADIDAS · 05-05-2006, 06:53 PM

Dude this seriously had me laughing so loud. The lady that works below me came up to see what I was laughing so hard about. Did you make that up?

2point4 · 05-05-2006, 07:14 PM

I've seen that in an e-mail before. Fuggin hilarious. Notice how you laughed at the parts that were true.

imported_SBsurferdude · 05-06-2006, 12:26 AM

hahaha

thats all like so true its funny how real life isnt funny until its said or said a certain way

**Sofa King** · 05-06-2006, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADIDAS

Dude this seriously had me laughing so loud. The lady that works below me came up to see what I was laughing so hard about. Did you make that up?

I cant take credit for it. I just saw it and thought it was funny so I figured I'd share.

BongMan420 · 05-11-2006, 04:24 PM

That was the funniest shit I've heard in awhile thanks for sharing

buschnandy · 05-13-2006, 06:44 AM

had me laughing hard...

pollutedtuna · 05-13-2006, 07:48 AM

Lmao. That's great.

05-05-2006, 05:20 PM	#1
Sofa King SSV User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 3,004 Grams: 53,151.28 Thanks: 638 Thanked 595 Times in 378 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Showering for Dummies HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. __________________ Posting GuidelinesMJ.com .Chat ** ** CDXX ** .. .......... LAKERS * STEELERS * ANGELS * DUCKS

05-05-2006, 06:53 PM	#2
ADIDAS Represent. KY Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,824 Grams: 13,987.15 Thanks: 584 Thanked 375 Times in 246 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Dude this seriously had me laughing so loud. The lady that works below me came up to see what I was laughing so hard about. Did you make that up? __________________ All Day I Dream About Smoking

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