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Hashishi

So I've been perusing my paper and I came across a gem. I picked the best ones:

"The lock in our old bathroom didn't work and we went through a stage of bursting in on people on the toilet or in the bath and taking photos of them. There are a series of photos from this time of people looking harrassed on the toilet, and often a bit tired and drained as first thing in the morning was a favourite time to do this. I'm not sure when this stopped, but it may well have been when my mum broke her toe as she rushed to catch the latest victim and tripped on the step that went down into the hall."


"We always had a long tradition of telling my dad to: 'use that withered arm' at meals, as he would usually only use on hand to eat. Then he had a stroke and now actually has a withered arm. We still tell him to use it."


"Leaving after a weekend visit to my nan and grandad's involved my dad, at a particular point on a corner, beeping the horn and sticking his head out the window and shouting: 'Power to the People!'"


"On tasting any item not home-made, the taster will always murmur to my mother: 'You really must give me the recipe for this.'"


"My partner and I occasionally play a joke on unsuspecting visitors to our house. He whistles me up and I trot obediently into the room, undo his laces and remove his boots, all the while looking demurely downwards. I then back respectfully out of the room, while he continues talking to our disconcerted guest." --my favourite.


"When we were smaller, if any embarassing sex scenes came on the telly and especially if they went on for any length of time, my dad used to say: 'Don't be looking at that, look at me instead.' Now, whenever sex scenes come on we all turn to him and look at him all googly eyed. This hardly ever happens any more, a) because nobody can bear the TV at the volume he has it, and b) because he constantly flicks through the channels before deciding there is nothing on and putting on a video about steam trains instead."

__________________
SWP



"I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty." -- "If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly." -- "Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin's still learning." -- "As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns: the ones we don't know we don't know."

 

HoBoJo

[quote=Hashishi;456141]

"My partner and I occasionally play a joke on unsuspecting visitors to our house. He whistles me up and I trot obediently into the room, undo his laces and remove his boots, all the while looking demurely downwards. I then back respectfully out of the room, while he continues talking to our disconcerted guest."



Baahahahah, That's hilarious!! My favorite too!!

Sec

My Father is this way as well, except now he has hearing aids. -He just never remembers to turn them on. (and he puts on ole John Wayne movies instead of steam trains).