king_ofbonghits

no offense to any gay guys out there.

Ok so these three gay guys and their lovers go on vacation
In a freak accident all the gay guy's lovers die.
So the next morning they go to the place where you get creamated.
The guy at the counter ask the first gay guy "What are you going to do with his ashes?"
He says "Im going to sprinkle them in the ocean because he loved the beach."
the guy said oh thats very nice
Then he asks the second gay "So what are you going to with his ashes?"
The gay guy says "Im going to sprinkle them off a mountain because he loved the mountains"
The guy said oh thats very admirable.
Then he asks the third gay guy "And what are you going to do with his ashes?"
The gay guy says "Im going to go home and make a pot of chili and put his ashes in it."
The guy says "Why the hell would you do that?!"
Gay guy says "So he can tear my ass up one more time."

haha i like that one do you guys have any they dont have to be gay jokes just anyones that are funny.

JnEverett

Magic Sandals

A newly married couple are honeymooning in India. As they're walking through a bazaar they see a sign that reads: "Magic sandals. Guaranteed to improve your sex life."

The couple walk into the shop and are greeted by the shopkeeper. "These magic sandals," he tells the wife, "will increase your husband's sex drive and make him an accomplished lover." The wife tells the shopkeeper that her husband wears a size 10, and that he'd like to try them on.

So the husband sits down, puts on the sandals and gets a gleam in his eye that his wife has never seen before. The husband rips his pants off, bends the shopkeeper over the counter and goes to town.

Frantically the shopkeeper screams, "The sandals! You've got them on the wrong feet!"

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JnEverett

Misunderstanding

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"