Rizzo

it seems like the only time i log on to this web site is during my all time lows. this site pretty much is always the site of social desperation for me because i have yet to find another group of individuals i could relate to. i'm sorry to say that this is probably my 3rd or 4th introduction following my one or two day stays on this board through out the past 3 years of my hazy peripherals i would call life. i wish i could express my thoughts clearly through paper but this is just a sad attempt at a stream of conciousness type of writing that i've been trying to master for too long. back to the point, i'm a senior in high school, seemingly missing out on all those good times my peers are having with eachother at parties and smoking circles. i can be real social but simply lack the energy to go out and have a good time. i can't remember how long it has been that i've gotten a phone call from someone to just hang out. my parents are from a very school-orientated culture in india, while i am in a very social-orientated culture in the US. this conflict of cultures combined with my incessant need to socialize and connect with my peers has resulted in a long period of depression for me that i am supposed to be shelling out from right now. i look forward to turning 18 and moving out, being able to smoke a cigarette while i read the paper and make a cup of coffee. take a walk out to no where, taking my thoughts whereever i take my feet, to a place i have no idea of, stay up all night without having to be quiet as a mouse as i purposely deprive myself of sleep to delve deeper into my confused mind (i find sleep deprivation to be atleast for an hour in the morning to be a little enlightening where you can sit on your porch, watch the sun rise, and if for even a moment, be at peace with your world) the sweet tangy taste of freedom that so many people take for granted. with my parents strict rules i found it hard to build a group of friends like i would have enjoyed having, instead i have pretty much one friend that i can call to just hang out with on a weekend. he's the epitome of what i want to be, it seems like hes exactly who i would be if i wasn't pulled down by my old fashioned parents and my inferior complex. he's extremely social, can find things to do any night, people are willing to come pick him up and hang out, you know? when ever i leave the house to do anyhing there is a sense of tension in the house between my parents, they're so worried. it's hard for me to say the least. so here i am, my final year of high school, its new years and im sitting down smoking my bowls and drinking my beers alone, thinking about all the fun people out there are having and i wonder what makes me so isolated. i make plans with my best friend to hang out on new years, and he turns off the phone and apparently forgets about me. the other people i call my "friends" fail to pick up my calls and fail to call me back. so i suppose my new years resolution could be weed out the chodes who i call friends. and i think im going to stay on this site for more than a couple days and start being a little more active.

therse my life story, so who else is flyin solo tonight?

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I used to do drugs, and I still do too

-Mitch Hedberg


Keep hittin that reefa, its sendin me straight to heaven ^^

allenlovesgreen

I'm a sophomore in high school right now. I have a lot of 'friends' in school and I'm a very sociable person once people get to know me. At first I'm not but after I get comfortable with the person(s) I'm with, it's all good. It's hard to find real friends, you know? I'm not just talking about friends in general, I'm talking about the real ones, friends that you can call and say "Help me!", friends that you can say "Hey, I have a problem, i don't know what to do!", friends that you can tell secrets to, friends that you can cry to while you are mad/sad/depressed, even happy. I probably have like 2 or maybe 3 really good friends and they are all around when I'm in need or when I just want to talk, maybe watch a movie or something.

Sometimes I think, "Fuck it, I don't need friends, once I get out of high school I'm not going to see them never again," I actually remember this thought coming to my mind one day a while back, when I used to be ''the new kid''(about 3 years ago), " I don't care about hanging out with people. While they are all hanging out, wasting their time, going no where, I'm heading to college " but now I don't have that mentality, though sometimes I just like to be by myself and think about stuff.

I'm not flying solo tonight though, I'm kicking it back with the fam, drinking a little beer and just hanging out. Don't feel bad man, try to be more sociable. I'm not saying this will get you more friends, in my opinion it's kind of like a posses, once you get comfortable with yourself and talking to others you'll be ok.

Edit: I'm really sorry if I got too passionate with the subject

rich420

Man I feel ya! welcome back

stay up bro

sterbo

Rizzo...

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homemadebubbler

Yeah I feel ya man. As I get older it seems I'm loosing more and more friends and becoming more and more alone. I spent new years eve by myself, lurking forums...

Kind of depressing...

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When they took the 4th Amendment away I was quiet because I didnt deal drugs//When they took the 6th Amendment away I was quiet because Id never been arrested//When they took the 2nd Amendment away I was quiet because I didnt own a gun//Now they took the 1st Amendment and all I can do is be quiet...

Hashishi

Don't write 'em off completely.

It's dificult, but you can't relay on others like that. Obviously I'm not sure about the particulars of your situation, but it's always best to take the initiative in these scenarios. If you've any idea what's going down and where it's going down simply show up unannounced. Bring a case of beer and if anybody's got anything to say about it, then... well, fuck 'em.

Once they see that you'll be on level footing and start truly being able to enjoy yourself.

I went through a similar patch, and that's what did it for me. Also, save the weed for the end of the night- you're not gonna make an inroads if you're monging out all night.

Just bite the bullet, I guess. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get you anywhere.

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weed_lover

man i no how u feel i got alot of friends but i think i only got 1 true 1 who i met thourgh cannabis