Taiyed

I've been posting in the Art and Photography section, but I realize not everyone looks in there, and after all this is an introduction at its core. Please take the time to read if you think you're up to it. This is me and I ain't afraid to say it. Check the art forum if you like what you see. Thanks.


Before I say what I’m about to say, it’s important you know that I recognize how easily this can come off as a silly Maxim/GQ type interview. I will never admit to buying them, but trust me I’ve read them, and I’m beginning to understand more than ever that what most ‘made’ men have to say is often the truth. This is not arrogance I’m spouting, this is confidence. It is stupid to live any other way. I’ve been a cynical asshole my entire life, and believe me when I look at myself and my own words I’m half-tempted to say “wow, what a d-bag,” but I soon remind myself who I am and anyone who can’t understand that is just fucking jealous. Seriously, we need to get over ourselves as human beings and just love one another. Cheesy to say, difficult to understand, almost impossible to live; but it’s the truth. If these words make you hate me, you should know that jealousy rarely comes without strings attached and the sooner you recognize everything you say and do that isn’t true and you know it, is a mere result of your own insecurities. I’m me and you’re you, if you’re jealous you fuckin’ should be. People say this type of thing all the time, but you need to force yourself to understand them. Let the words sink in.

Now, before I go any further, I absolutely must ask that you trust me. I am tired of explaining my ideas to people who do not understand them. Fact is, you will never understand my ideas to the extent I do and I would rather manifest them to the extent which I am able, instead of trying to spell it out for you. There’s a few of you out there who have a better idea than others, and trust me, we know who you are, but I take pride in the fact that nobody else can see what I see. This goes without mentioning the fascination I hold for what other people can see. More importantly, there is enough doubt in this world about me from the powers that be; the last place I need it from is the people who know me or want to know me. Those that think they know me, take a hike.

With that said, let me explain a little about myself. I’ve been an artist and media enthusiast my entire life. I spent the better part of the past two years at the University of Washington here in Seattle and absolutely hated it. There’s been some good times, and some bad no doubt – but there’s some hot shot professors and assistants there who deserve a healthy helping of “fuck you.” It’s my own fault for believing I could take directions from some tool who needs to be told what to do, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. Ultimately, I’m grateful to UW for helping me realize I’m no ground soldier as much as I seemed to think I could be. These are the words of a leader, remember that.

After realizing what was going on, I quickly began to explore other options. I have found what I’m looking for at the Art Institute of Seattle. AI schools catch a real bad rap within the artistic community, Seattle and Portland’s to a lesser extent, but I’m going to do whatever I can to change that. The people I’ve met there so far truly want to help me, and I appreciate that I no longer have to impress people. I am impressive, how I forgot that is a complete mystery. I start class on July 9th, but my real education began a few months ago.

I am just now starting to take serious control over my artistic path. I know now, more than ever, what I need to be comfortable with my life. Money. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. No, it’s not so I can buy a Porsche and a PS3, it’s because I know how money is the root of all systems of control on this earth, as sad as that may be, and I know that I never want something like that to limit what I am able to do while I am here. Beyond that, I want to be able to give back to those that have already done so much for me; so much of my life has been spent receiving things that I didn’t deserve and I am ready to prove I was worth it. They provided stability for me when I needed it, now I want to be a stone for them. Furthermore, I will buy a Porsche and a PS3 – like the rest of America, I’m an entertainment junky; I work hard at what I do, I’m going to have my cake and eat it, too. That doesn’t mean I won’t make my best effort to give back to those who need it most.

Bottom line is, these are some pretty bold things to say, but I’m comfortable enough in my view of the world and ability to discipline myself to say them with the utmost confidence. This isn’t about being famous per se, but I recognize that to succeed in art you need to be noticed and fame is the quick and easy way to that; the tricky part is getting there, but I’m learning what it takes.

There is no question that I have a long way to go – I recognize there are millions of artists on this world that I do not even compare to, but I do know one thing: none of them are the same as me and that is my biggest advantage. Let me remind you, what you see of me here and on nocturnaloj.com is merely one aspect of who I am and what I am capable of doing. I take everything that needs to be taken seriously, seriously. There is nothing more serious to me than my own opinion of myself. I’ve spent a good part of my life feeling inadequate because people didn’t want me to set my expectations too high. Those people are a bunch of pussies, but they’ve made me who I am. Nothing will improve me more than my desire to impress and ultimately help those around me. I want to be an inspiration to you because you inspire me. Let’s help each other.

I mean that. More than ever, I need help. If you read this and like what you see, I will be forever grateful if you help me; I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you know that. I’m an active learner and pick things up very quickly; I believe I simply need to meet the right people to land myself in the right environment to accomplish some truly amazing things. If this essay and/or my work inclines you to believe that in even the slightest way, please do not hesitate to contact me. I admit I’m currently very busy with my own projects, so if it takes me a while to get back to you I promise it’s not personal and I will be in touch with you.

At the same time, please don’t play games with me. I’m laying my cards on the table and I expect the same from anyone who wants to work with me. I don’t want to waste your time and I sure as hell don’t want you to waste mine. Tell me what you want in exchange for providing me with what I need; it’s as simple as that. I’ve got nothing to prove; I’m here, I’m driven, just show me the way. Do not doubt me and we will not have any problems, I mean that.

If you made it this far and think we should hook up, shoot me a private message and we’ll go from there. I thank you for looking either way.

P.S. Ladies I’m 20 years old, single, and as lonely as the next guy; I want to avoid getting burnt out, but I really don’t have much time on my hands. If this sounds like you, I’m sure we can find a happy medium of give and take. Fellas, if your name ain’t Nick, SA, Tim, P-Nut, or Chad I’m probably not interested. If you don’t understand that, I feel sorry for you.