goingcrazy

Hello everyone...
I have been beating myself up over my love of smoking weed. I have been smoking almost daily for about 3 years. I like to smoke a little in the morning with my coffee, then again after lunch and then again in the evening with my husband. I really enjoy the relaxation I get from it. Lately however, my inner voice has been telling me to cut back. When I try to cut back I get real irritable and cranky. I think about it all the time. I've tried quitting, but I honestly do not want to. I never smoke to the point of getting stoned. When I get that relaxed feeling, I stop. Being a stay at home mom, smoking makes the day more enjoyable and the chores more fun. I also find that I'm very disorganized when I stop smoking. I've never smoked cigs and I really don't drink, except for the rare times we go out. I am concerned that I am hurting my health but honestly I am not happy without it. I usually smoke with a bong and only do 3 hits which is 9 hits a day. Am I messing with danger or beating myself up over nothing. Please tell me what you think. My friends, who smoke, think I am being crazy. I just turned 40. I have been smoking on and off for about 18 years. The last 3 years daily. Any advice would be appreciated.