Marijuana.com

soar2thaclouds

Hi,

First of all, thanks for all the people that have responded to my questions in the past. I really think you guys are great, and have a lot of insight. I'm glad there are people out there that care.

About a few months ago or so, I decided to give my psychiatrist a shot at helping me out with my depression, and I was put on Paxil. At this time, I realized that marijuana might also really help, if used wisely and with a vaporizer.

The paxil was helping me in life, my depression lifted, but I still didn't feel alive. I guess I was happy with this type of mood when I took paxil b4, but now I realize that I can feel better then this, and I can feel normal.

I began experimenting with marijuana. I got a vaporizer, and experimented with different amounts, with a few different types of weed.

I realized that if I smoke a pretty decent amount, like probably the amount of thc in a bowl or so, I get a good antidepressant effect that last for about 2 days. If I would smoke Sunday night, then that night and the next day I didn't feel depressed at all, or even anxious (with the right strain). But the 2nd day, i felt the effects start to wear off.

Next, I tried using probably half that amount, and sure enough I felt good for almost all of the next day, except my "depression" and all the symptoms I have would start to slowly reappear at the end of the night. At this point I would vaporizer again. This method I used for the last week and a half, and has worked pretty well. I still need to experiment with strains.

However, just recently, as of today, I've begun taking super small hits, just to feel normal. It usually lasts like 3 hours or something, with the really small amount I use.

Here is the whole reason I'm doing this, and where I would like advice/help. The reason I like taking super small hits, or even half the normal dosage, is that it doesn't get me as "high". Its not that I don't like the high that much or anything, its just I like to feel normal even more.

I don't know what to do, its like this plant helps me so much, and its illegal. I feel alone in this battle sometimes, and even though I'm pretty smart and responsible, the thought comes into my head sometimes that I shouldn't be doing this. I wish I could at least have a doctor that would prescribe it, just to feel more comfortable.

I'm trying to go to med school in a few years most likely, so maybe I'm being put in this situation to help others like me, but still its hard feeling like your on the forefront of something, and there's not to many people that would support you, because they're blinded by the stupid instilled beliefs that marijuana is an evil weed. Its really sad sometimes, cuz I'm a really nice guy, and have a good heart. I only say this because its tough sometimes to think that people wouldn't like me just because of marijuana, something that helps me.

Sorry for venting and all, I just really needed to say this to people that would understand. What do u guys think of all this?

Yours,
soar

 

Frump

I had a few (female) friends who basically said the same thing you did about people disliking them without knowledge of what Marijuana can do to benifit mankind. In all cases they told their friends, the friends accepted them, and it sort of validated smoking for them.

But in your case, using a vaporizer, taking responsibly small hits, and feeling bad about using an illegal substance, it doesn't seem like your doing anything wrong other than worrying. The way I see it: **** the police, **** the law, let me smoke and **** off. For you it's something more, something that helps you rather than takes advantage of you or destroys you like some non-smokers assume. Anyone with an open mind and respect for you should be able to understand that.

If that doesn't give you any confidence or reassureance, you could keep it a secret, but I find that hiding it will blow up in your face, in any event.

Good luck.

Mamabudz

The fact is that no matter what there are some folks -- family and "friends" who will view your use of marijuna as proof that you are a pothead. Sorry, that's just the way it is. We all have to live with it.

You're lucky though, they are usually the same ones who would alienate you for having a mental illness. So you really haven't lost anything that was truly worthwhile, have you?

You never asked to have depression, you didn't plan on it as part of your future. As a friend of mine once wrote: "depression is not a polite illness." It doesn't wait conveniently to be invited in.

Now about the side effects of smoking cannabis -- being high and stoned -- you build up a tolerance rather quickly to the side effects. Your method of small toking should help you reach the level sooner than trying to take large quantities. In medical terminology you are "self titrating the dosage on a per needed basis." It is all the rage with opiod medications and pain killer's following surgery (ie the morphine pump) however one must not forget that marijuana -- unless it falls on you by the burning truckload -- will not kill you nor will it addict you to need greater amounts for the same relief -- though a few days break may be needed to get as stoned on the same weed.

soar2thaclouds

Thanks for all the thoughts and advice.

Its funny, becuase my parents are very strong christians and the like. I was talking to my father last night, and he said he had talks with my mom and they just can't outright say to me that I have to stop marijuana. They realize it is helping me tremendously. Part of them still don't like the fact that its "marijuana" because of all the bad stuff that people have come to believe over the years.

I've decided that since its medicinal usage, I'm not going to talk about it with random people that I meet, just my close friends and family. I'm not afraid to talk about it, but I don't think its worth it cuz people might not quite understand. At least some people.