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Bovine

Hi guys, I've been surfing sites for a couple hours and haven't yet come across any real help and was wondering if any of you that have successfully quit could give me any suggestions.

The story: I've been smoking for about six years. Initially it was once a week, the gradually it became an all the time thing, up to 6-10 joints a day for a coupole years, then sort of dropped down to about 4 per day now.

I have a good eye for bud and only buy from the same person now, who delivers it too my door. So many crystals it's like a light layer of sugar and sometimes pretty sticky/purple bud so I know it's pretty potent.

While remaining stoned each and every day, I put myself through post secondary school and earned an honors diploma in information systems tech and I work in network services for a telecommunications company currently.

I fooled myself into always thinking that if I could write programs and ace exams while stoned, the high was really good benefit with no negative side effects. I've come to rely on it far to much though. I wake up to roll a joint before work, then I come home from work and smoke up until I go to sleep.

I no longer get the munchies, and my sex life is non existant by choice. I'm tired of always having everything revolve around pot as I don't go out anywhere because I can't smoke it in public obviously. I sit online and play games pretty much day in and day out.

Only my closest friends know I even smoke, my co-workers do not suspect it in the least, mostly because most people at work/school have only ever known me when I had some sort of buzz going on all the time.

4 days ago I took the intiative and through out all my drug related paraphenalia, my bong..my pipe, everything down to the 6 year old duo-tang I rolled my joints on..you could probably scrape it and can a gram of resin. Problem is that even after four days, it's all I can think about. I'm always have this 'down' feeling and I'm hardly eating.

The worst part of it is is that I feel like I'm only doing it because its the 'right' thing to do, not because I really want to do it. Like paying your bills...nobody wants to, but just something you have to do (bad analogy because I'm sure there are people here that lived on the street becaus they chose weed over bills). I know my health is suffering, I"ve gained about 40 pounds from what I used to way before smoking. I'm 5'11 and about 215 now. I can already tell that work and day to day activites just won't be as pleasurable as it was when I was high all the time.

I also haven't brought it up with my friends, who also smoke, but not near as heavily. I don't even want to mention it because they tend to laugh it off as they believe it has no negative side effects either,d espite every one of them being addicted.

One of my friends works for IBM and has been smoking longer than I have, just in small doses. He believes because he quit 1 time for 3 months that he has control and can quit whenever he wants...he just doesn't want to at the moment. I've tried to quit before, but I haven't thrown everything out like I have done now.

Bottomline is....I just don't know how to replace the feeling I always had in the back of my head when I was stoned, it seems like a big vaccumm. I've read that you need to do hobbies and whatever, but it doesn't seem to matter what I"m doing, I can't seem to take my mind off it. I'm smart nough to realize that what I'm doing is only filler for what part of me really wants to do instead.

I'm not sure if any of you have been through what I am currently going through, but I hope that if you are and have read this that you will have some suggestions or advice I can take. I know that 20 years from now when I have a family I will probably look back on the day I threw everything out and be thankful, but currently it's far too easy for me to pick up the phone and in 20 mins have someone at my door with some more bud.

 

Higher Logic

Sounds like you have personal issues to deal with that have nothing to do with cannabis; it's not that terribly hard to quit.

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Zilos

It's actually quite easy, I've been quit now for a month since I just decided to take a break, and now I just found out a job Im applying for might do a drug test (ya, thought I was safe in Canada). So now I gotta play it safe ( except for 4/20 ) until I know for sure.

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Bodhi36

I highly recommend you find therapist to help you with this. One that specializes in cognitive therapy which is the best way to bring about change in your life. You will read a lot of stuff about how marijuana isn't addictive and most people who smoke won't be able to relate to this because as far as drugs go it usually isn't. Not in the sense we thinnk of other drugs but people can become dependent on it the way they do on a person or with food or TV or porn- we use all sorts of things to distract us from reality. But reading your post a few things stand out to me- you are isolated, you are depressed, you want to make a change and can't seem to do it- leading to more feelings of failure and depression. You feel alone like you have this secret because people at work don't know you smoke and those that do don't take your problem seriously- that causes more stress. Get help- because you can make the changes you need and your life can seem sunny and bright again but it takes time, support, and coaching- it's a process. What you said about the vacuum in the back of your head and not knowing how to replace it- that's a good way to describe it- and without someone to talk to about this I'm almost certain this will lead to more and more isolation and depression- then a repeat of the whole cycle. You are trying to give up something on which you rely and has been a part of your life for years- so it won't be as simple as gritting your teeth, throwing out your paraphenelia and trying to have will power. There are steps to making changes- and following the steps makes it so much easier I promise you.
Like I mentioned before- addiction to marijuana is kind of a controversial thing- Lots of people who don't have addictive personalities use marijuana and maybe can't relate to the obssessiveness that goes along with having an addictive personality- so don't worry about what other people say- get the help YOU need. Also you said soemthing about "fooling yourself"- which is another aspect fo the addictive personality- rationalization. I realize I sound like a recovery zealot but the reason I'm so into this is because I've been through this and I used to try to handle everything on my own and I failed to do it- but with help I learned a lot of ways I have sabotaged myself and I how to not do that anymore- how to recognize when I'm bullsh*&%ing myself and how to be less impulsive and how to not engage in destructive thinking which leads to feeling bad. My life is better now. I want you to go to a therapist because I agree with Higher Logic- I think you do have other issues- and your marijuana use-is a part of it- not the cause. You obviously have such a high tolerance now that it isn't transporting you and that's the way it is-Life and reality will come to meet you and that's OK you gotta do what you are called upon to do- maybe one day you can smoke a little and get high again but you need to learn how not to use marijana or anything else as a distraction from what you are supposed to do in life, from reality- which is full of goood things and I can tell you have hope because you wrote about the future and a family in your post. My thoughts are with you- seriously you have a job with benefits, right? Take advantage of that and find a good therapist and if the first one doesn't feel right to you find one that fits and with whom you are comfortable. Good luck- you're on the right path.
Bodhi36

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Dazed.Confused

If you wanna fo something else, maybe get into a health craze, what i mean is; go buy a juicer, juice carrots, apples, ginger, whatever you like! go for runs, bike rides, walks, do anything that will make you feel better overall. Go to the gym, loose the weight you gained, make yourself feel better. But obviously, if you think you might need help, then get some, but if you really dont want to just do what makes you feel good.

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no one

i agree with dazedconfused, not only is exercise good for you, and a way to take your mind off of marijuana, but it releases endorpines which will make you happier. When i get depressed i like to lift weights. Try and meet some more people, become more active and go play some sports with your friends.

or maye you should try and cut down how much you smoke. Try and gradually reduce it. If you tried that then i would write down how much you smoke and track it, to make sure you are not cheating yourself.

You could also try music. Maybe learning how to play an instrument will help take your mind off of smoking. The only problem with that is that it can be extremely frusterating. I play the drums, piano, and the guitar and learning an instrument is real hard and might cause you to smoke even more.

I have not had to deal with any addiction so i do not really know what you are going through, but good luck.

PotShot

A friend of mine is in the same situation. He is dedicated to becoming successful, and after smoking for the last decade he has decided that it is a bad influence on his life, and he wanted to cut it out. He hasnt smoked for the last three months and he is still going fine, no withdrawl.

I have pretty much smoked everyday for the last three years. Nothing like 6 or 10 joints though... I would say whenever I sit down to smoke, its just a few tokes. And the only reason I see to stop smoking is those given to me by society. Kinda makes me angry, but thats ok... thats what brought me to this website to begin with.

Anyhow, if you are not content with quiting maybe try to just tone it down a bit?

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chineseKMART

Pull yourself together man! I suggest not going cold turkey in your situation. Cut back on the bud more and more ( weekly). U smoke 4 js a day smoke that for a week then the next week smoke 3 and so on until you are at a healthier level or none depending on what you want to do. I personally only smoke once a week unless its a special occasion....sometimes less ( I quit for a while) ....Good luck !

zippygod

I quit cold turkey after 8 years of heavy smoking the first and hardest thing to do is change your life style that unforunatly means not being with your friends who smoke at least for a few months I like you quit because it was the "right thing to do" i was also getting sick of worrying everytime i got drug tested at work never got a positive result (drank tons of vinegar) but i was a dad and trying to be resposible that has been 5 years now and i still miss it if it were legal i would spark up again in a heart beat but untill then i will just have to miss it

GOOD LUCK

Mamabudz

I noticed that our friend who wants to quite has not responded to his thread --- but let me add soemthing here for all of our readers:

There really is such an animal as a Psychological Addiction -- a physical need for "something" for a psychological fulfillment.

Unless and until that psychological need is discovered and met in a manner that is non-destructive, it is extremely difficult to fight the addiction. Addiction is a way of saying "a body's fight for physical survival which requires an outside stimulus" -- physical survival because without the fulfillmet of the psychological need, the body will do just about anything including self injurious behaviour to attempt to fulfill the need. It can be food, it can be sex, it can be chemical, it can be gambling...it can be almost anything.

I was -- since adolescence and until about a year ago -- quite addicted to food. Being borderline diabetic, that's not suprising. But food was alos my comfort and my firend and fulfilled a lot of needs for me (it measured my days, provide my social life, made me feel better, all sorts of things) I couldn't stop eating. It took many years of therapy and reading and learning and teaching myself that I could survive on many less calories and that I was not tied to food for my life. One book I found extremely helpful was titled: You Can't Stop Eating Until You Know What's Eating At You.

A fear of starvation and abandonment from early life became much clearer -- and over the past 5 years I've dropped over 50 lbs.

Change, real change, does not happen overnight -- it happens in baby steps and it happens day by day. But it is possible and it will happen if you want it to.

... and yes...I still have my cookies when I want them...

...would you like a cookie?

Hugz,

Mama Budz