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04-05-2005, 11:28 PM
| #1 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 127
Grams: 2,457.75  Thanks: 0
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|  Amotivational Syndrome??? I've been lurking around these boards for awhile and finally decided to sign up. I hope this thread is in the right place, but anyways...A friend of mine recently went to a doctor because he was having trouble concentrating, and was rather unmotivated (he was always like this, but only recently realized it himself  ). When the doctor asked if he had been using any drugs recently, he told him he had smoked some ganja ONCE 2 months ago (he was telling the truth). Immediately, the doctor responded to him saying that he was suffering from Amotivational Syndrome, a psychological problem due to cannabis use. Now, not only do I feel that this "Amotivational Syndrome" is an easy way for a doctor to diagnose any number of symptoms, I also can't believe he could attribute this problem to a ONE TIME USE of cannabis. Do any of you know if this psychological disorder is real, or is it simply more drug propaganda? I think it's the latter.  |
 
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04-06-2005, 12:02 AM
| #2 |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 897
Grams: 4,183.78 Thanks: 0
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| Amotivational syndrome sounds like a fancy way to say "you are not motivated." By making it sound scientific, it makes you qualify for drugs that make legal drug dealers legally rich. Why aren't hateful people diagnosed with "hate syndrome", greedy people with "greed syndrome"? Well, in due time, friend... in due time. Just a matter of finding the drug for it.
__________________ I see you |
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04-06-2005, 12:16 AM
| #3 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 127
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| "Just a matter of finding the drug for it." More like a matter of finding any damn mind altering substance they can, and labeling it as a perfect cure... |
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04-06-2005, 12:23 AM
| #4 |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 897
Grams: 4,183.78 Thanks: 0
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| Yes, a perfect cure that may cause: joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty percent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy - join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensation of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them. -Steve Martin |
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04-06-2005, 12:36 AM
| #5 |
| Buddhist Curmudgeon   Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 16,803
Grams: 91,184.97  Thanks: 995
Thanked 6,792 Times in 3,138 Posts
| See Myth #11
__________________ 60% of the people of America now say we are heading toward a depression. Not a recession, a depression. We are in desperate need of profitable industries that we can tax. Um... Now can we legalize pot? ~ Bill Maher |
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04-06-2005, 01:19 AM
| #6 |
| Member  Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 656
Grams: 4,086.78  Thanks: 0
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| 1) The doctor is wrong. 2) If your friend continues to smoke, he should try out lecithin supplements. |
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04-11-2005, 12:40 AM
| #7 |
| Jr. Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 127
Grams: 2,457.75 Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
| I have to agree. I end up feeling 10x more motivated to do things when I'm high then when I do when I've been sober for a while. |
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