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Daz

When I dont get marijuana I start to go insane, I'm not talking about your run of the mill ordinary anger/anxiety insane and I'm not talking about getting angry over a day or so without weed. This is a very long and very strange story so please stick with me.

The Good effects while stoned, Background Information:

I started smoking weed about 6 years ago, at the age of 15, I started to notice weed gave me an extra-ordinary ability to "think on my feet" in such a way that I could literally captivate people, through telling jokes, telling views on life or even just general talking. Whist stoned I find that weed gives me the ability to excell in social situations, whilst keeping maximum respect for those around me, ensuring all others get their turn to talk. I've had people come up to me whilst I'm stoned and have them tell me I'm one of the most amazing people they've ever met and over the years my skills have always improved in this area.

I dont want to sound like I'm tugging at my rope or anything, but being told something like that on multiple occasions makes you feel pretty good about youself.

Whilst stoned I have the ability to be logical, precise and perceptive of the things going on around me, I also have the ability the "retrieve" information in my head faster and after reading a few basic books in the psychological area I found that I was capable of accuratly pinpointing the emotions and thoughts of people around me, gaining me insight as to what is the most "correct" thing to say to benefit the situation.

I decided to quit smoking (cigarettes) on maijuana, I decided to look after my health one day when I was stoned and I started to exercise, I also decided to get a job (which unfortunatly I lost for being stoned at work, even though I was the fastest worker).

The Bad, Non stoned behavior:

A few days without weed is no problem, a week or 2 and I'm fine, but 6-8 weeks without weed and I start to go insane. At one point where I must have come to around 10 weeks without marijuana I joined a right-wing extreemist neo-nazi and Satanist groups for a number of months and kept in contact with a number of UFO cults (yea, that insane), until I bumped into someone smokeing a joint outside a club one night, I asked him if I could have a puff, and I did. Then it started to come back, my sanity that is, and I realised who I was, so I went and bought some weed, sat down, had a smoke and decided what I wanted to do with my life and pretty quickly I dumped the whole nazi ideology and I started to improve my life again. ( Just as I have the ability to analyse every word and action of those around me whilst stoned, I also have the ability to psycho-analyse myself and my own actions effectively. ) Quickly things returned to normal and where on the rise, with the occasional smoke of weed I was doing better things for myself, mainly focusing on improving the tangled mental state I had weaved for myself and futher improving my social techniques, by dwelling into the realm of psychology.

Then I started working out and exercising, I cut down to less than 2 cigarettes a day and I eventuly got a job as a factory (tablehand/boxpacker), not all that exciting really, but I've never been one for the materialistic pleasures, knowledge and art is far more important to me. That job went well for a time and I was a good worker, however I lost that job because I smelt like weed (yes i was stoned at the time).

However after loosing my job whilst sitting home alone, dwelling deep into my mind like some psycho-analysing trip I decided that becomming "dependant on weed" is not really a good thing and that I should give up weed, I felt that my previous problems when quiting weed may be to do with ill-health and lack of self disciplin. So I stopped smoking weed, started exercising, and started to make plans for a part-time military career. and for a time, it was good.

However as time went by without weed, my determination and drive started to drop, I slowing started to smoke cigarettes again, my value of life itself started to drop, though my friends still liked me, I started to hate them. I eventuly dropped my plans for joining the military because I felt that my art wasn't up to a decent standard and all my drive and determination dripped away. My self-psycho-analitical thought started to be replaced by sleeping all day and thoughts of trying to justify suicide to myself, eventuly the only thing standing between me and a well thought out method of suicide was that I thought I might aswell smoke some weed for one last time and so I went to my friends house (yesterday) after 12 weeks without weed and smoked some weed, and It all came back to me, life, the ability to rationilse, percieve what is going on around me and the reasons as to why I should quit smoking cigarettes. I even did a sketch which made me feel proud.

So it looks like the answer is that i should continue to smoke weed, after all its doing me alot of good and I wasn't really that mentally stable prior to weed.

But my question is WHY?, why is weed showing good things for me, why has it time and time again saved me? Rescued me even from incredibly stupid decisions and given me the ability to think incredible thoughts?
Does this mean I am destined to smoke weed for the rest of my life?
Its as if weed seems to be cureing me even from some sort of schizophenia or depression, or at least treating it, in fact, each time I smoke weed I never really seem to go back to being as bad as I was in the previous lapse without it?

 

StonerBill

Many cases of schizophrenia ive read and seen on television occur when the person stops smoking.

I dont think most scientists know **** all about psychology they study really.

If you can live your life while smoking weed, then a dependancy is not a bad thing. you clearly are cut out for cannabis. if you want to take the conservatively safe route, stop now and prevent getting worse, at the possibility of getting worse out of life anyway.

however, you are a smart person unless your talking out of your ass, and so I would say, keep smoking. however! ONLY on the condition that you get your act together, and actually DO something in knowlege and art. dont just read about it, find an area you specifically like and make a difference. being able and special is totally worthless unless you have the ambition to make a difference

ChronicSmoke7

You are talking to the wrong, people. Tell a doctor and whatever he thinks don't do it, because it sounds like you have your situation under control, but its always good to have a PROFESSIONAL point of view even if it is incorrect......If i were you i would only smoke when i needed to be creative and to prevent the face plant of emotions, mybe once twice a week w/ a week break between,whatever its all up too you, just dont toke too much

ChronicSmoke7

Astrology used to play a key role in being a doctor, i don't know why people agreed with a coked out junkie named Sigmund Freud.

Cassius

This is one of the best effects of being stoned!

My best friend from high school used to descibe it as "marijuana makes you look at the big picture, whether it's a pretty picture or not". Marijuana makes you take a step back, and realize the truth of your situation and those around you. Thus, if you're the kind of person that likes to take initiative and do something about a miserable situation, marijuana gives you the opportunity to do that. Continued used of marijuana spirals this effect, and so it's not abnormal at all for you to find yourself to be a more successful, more social, better rounded person while using it (whether you're stoned at the time or not).

Personally, this is the biggest reason I continue to smoke! Above all, I hate self-deception, I can't stand lying to myself. Normally I don't do so anyway, because I've always been like that since I was a kid (honest to myself even over others), but marijuana prevents any chance of me deceiving myself -- because you get stoned, and whether you want to or not your mind starts thinking about everything that's happened to you and the situation you're in, and your thoughts will proceed so quickly that often you find solutions to your problems you never would have thought of if you hadn't gotten high. For some people, the short term memory loss prevents any of those solutions from being implemented (or remembered), but for others marijuana truly is a gateway drug -- a gateway to success, a gateway to a better life.

Of course, your descriptions of how you are when you haven't had weed for a while suggest that you may have some underlying psychological difficulties or imbalances, and I highly suggest you investigate what might be the root causes of those. Maybe "self-medication" through marijuana will be enough and over time, as you continue to look at the bigger picture of yourself, you'll realize your underlying problems and what has caused them all these years. But if you think they might be getting worse or you don't want to wait to figure them out yourself (which can take years, even with marijuana to help), then I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist.

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Mamabudz

One of the great benefits of smoking marijuana is the personal insight you receive.

In this case, you have established a "cause and effect" situation. It is most likely indicative of a mood swing type of disorder. It would be very helpful for you to printo ut wht you have written here and make an appointment to see a Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist can assist in disgnosing what disorder you my be experiencing and suggest a course of treament that will ease the symptoms you describe. Often such a rapid cycling experience as you describe can be treated with a very simple regimen of low cost and low side effect medications.

I personally have a similar history and have had an excellent experience with a medication regimen that includes Topomax, an anti-seizure drug that assist sin hypo-manic rapid cycling of my bi-polar condition. In essence it provided the "volume control" to my over sensitivity, anger and irritation response.

There is help and it is available.

Please keep us informed and let us know how you are doing.

Hugz,

Mama Budz

Cassius

Yeah, definitely keep us posted. I've never been diagnosed myself but I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar as well (remember when it used to be called manic depression?), and I can really relate to your situation.

Buzzby

Freud had a coke habit for only a very brief period in his life. He ended it himself. He was never a "coked out junkie". He worked quite effectively while he had the coke habit. There are very few people practicing Freudian psychoanalysis anymore, anyway.

It's time to get in touch with reality. Astrology, now there's a science we can depend on!

Daz - it sounds like you've worked out a balanced relationship with marijuana except in one area. Don't go to work stoned and you shouldn't have any problems.

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Mamabudz

Never ceases to amaze me the number of people who bash Freud -- They never read the man's work or studied his literature but feel free to make ignorant statments about his life and the ground breaking research he provided.

Higher Logic

I think the man's a genious. Oedipus complex?! I mean, c'mon. And yes, he did quit on his own, he wrote a great piece actually about addiction based on that experience.

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