Marijuana.com

jstoner

Alright, here we go. I've read a lot of these posts and my problem is very similar if not exact to what some other people here have gone through. But my main question and concern is: will I ever be able to smoke again?

Recently I've had a lot of unexpected anxiety "attack" me. (But then, is it ever expected?) I'm only 18 but I've had depression and anxiety issues for years. I became a daily smoker about 6 months ago, and since then, I've been the happiest that it feels like I've ever been in my entire life. Before I started smoking I was on anti-depressants but still a complete mess. Through smoking I was able to stop taking the drugs and be happier than I ever was on the drugs.

Over the last few months I've experienced some really hardcore panic attacks as a result of smoking, but only rarely. I mean, here I am smoking every single day, and then out of the blue when I'm doing the same exact thing as any other day, a bad panic attack will set in.

I don't want to make this a chapter long post of my life, but I've gone through a lot as a result of smoking, not just panic attacks. When I FIRST started smoking, I had one normal high before a string of schizo-type shit happened to me when I smoked. I'm talking some BAD shit. It was totally as if I had another person inside of me; for me, it was a little kid. I would have no control over myself whatsoever when this would happen. I would feel as though I was fighting with this little kid inside of me, trying to keep the kid the fuck away. I mean, there's no doubt about it, it was schizophrenia.

Well, after a lot of attempts to continue smoking and hoping that that would just go away, I finally gave up smoking for about 2 straight months. Not one hit. And that shit went away. It was from then on, which was about 6 months ago, that I started smoking every day.

After the schizo shit stopped, I would just have normal highs like anyone else and it was great. But it wasn't long before derealization became a part of my smoking routine. I would have delusions, which I've only recently been able to recognize as delusions. At the time and for a long time after, I thought I was just realizing things because I was in an altered state of mind, but I really got crazy at times. I would sometimes have what I called out of body experiences, but I'm not positive that that's what it was. I'm not sure if it was part of the derealization or something else entirely, but this too was HARDCORE. I actually didn't hate it though, oddly I felt special and like I was seeing the world for what it really was, like almost no one else could. I became SO distrusting of people though, like when I'm like that (it still happens every once in awhile but not nearly as intense) I just can't make myself trust anyone. One time I was watching Jerry Springer with my sister after we'd just smoked, and I just kept laughing at it saying "How can this be real? Look at this, look at that, it's all staged blah blah blah" and her response really hit me hard: "I hate when you get like this."

She's seen me through a lot of my problems and although she doesn't fully understand or even realize the things that have happened to me as a result of smoking, this was something she wasn't new to and what she said really, really hit home.

But, back on the present. I've never had anxiety like I do now that wasn't a result of smoking. Like, the smoking is what initially brought it all on, but now it's there even when I don't smoke. I've tried letting my mind and body get back on track for a couple days of no smoking, but as soon as I smoke, it's all back. Yeah the obvious answer is to give smoking a break for awhile, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I also have an appt with my doctor on Friday, even though I KNOW I'm just gonna get put back on the drugs.

I'm just worried even with meds I'm not going to be able to smoke again and just be happy and normal like before. Weed has become WAY too much a part of my life and I know and recognize that, but the LAST thing I wanna do is give it up completely. It's become my escape from my problems...though now it's the CORE of my problems at the moment.

I just want things to go back to normal. I wanna be able to smoke a blunt again, man. This is devestating to me...

If anyone actually made it through this whole thing, I'm sure you will be able to tell that I obviously have issues that need dealt with. The weed merely put that off and I know that. But I need reassurance that I'm eventually going to be able to smoke and be normal again.

Peace out and don't take smoking for granted - not everyone is as lucky as being able to simply smoke and be stoned.

I was though, and I fucking miss it.

J

 

cb123

I'm in the same situtation.

I want to smoke to relieve my problems, however weed is the core of it all. Really didn't experience DP/DR while high. It was 2 days after when the symptoms would not go away, and I started to worry.

My advice is: Get treated for anxiety and anxiety only. With me, the meds create more symptoms, and I now need more meds for the symptoms. All of these meds are quite overwhelming.

Now, according to my doctor, I have bipolar II disorder and OCD, which I was completely unaware of while smoking.

One thing that I NEED meds for is OCD. I can't get this shit out of my head. You need to try your hardest to ignore any temptation to think about the problem or constantly check on this website.

The best anxiety treatment I have ever taken was klonopin. It was as close to mj as you can get, instant relief. What is also nice about klonopin is that there are no side-effects, and you take it as needed, perhaps before smoking again?

But with smoking, if you truely feel that you experienced schizophernia-like symptoms, I would stay away from it, atleat until your 20. From what i've read, people who experience schizo-like symptoms have a much higher chance of developing schizophernia. Also, if you have had a family member with it, your chances increase.

This whole schizo risk is what's holding me back. I'm not sure how much truth there is to it.

Anybody know?

Toking Jedi

As far as I know, the whole risk of developing schizophrenia deal is, for the most part, not true. But by "for the most part" I mean for the mentally healthy population. For you guys, who are having schizophrenic episodes, I would say that Marijuana could bring out an already existing schizophrenic condition, which would explain the episodes.

As for your fears, cb, I think you should follow your instincts and err on the side of caution. I'm no psychologist, but I know that many times our gut instincts are right. And in your situation and in jstoner's, you should go with your instincts and stay away from the marijuana. It's hard not to, but what is right isn't always easy to do. I would suggest that you stay away from smoking for at least a year. Work with your problems, try some meditation, find psychosomatic solutions, meaning mental-emotional ones not having to do with pot. Don't try and self-medicate, because we don't know the effects on OCD, anxiety, or schizophrenia quite yet.

PS: Think of it not in terms of "oh man, will I ever be able to smoke again?", but "what else can I do with my time?" Think positively, and allow your thoughts to be focused on other things. Distract yourself, and let go of your desire to smoke. Eventually you will become so entrenched in not smoking that you won't want to smoke. But I can't give any guarantees--that's for you to find out.

__________________

jstoner

Just for the record, the schizo stuff hasn't happened to me in a long time, and when it did happen I'm (now) pretty sure it was the result of taking Zoloft for 2 years.

My anxiety has been getting better, though I missed my dr appt and have been handling it on my own. Xanax has been a big help.. I've heard a lot about Klonopin and definitely wanna give it a shot.

I actually ended up smoking yesterday for the first time in a week. I gave in to the craving and ended up smoking three blunts with friends over the course of about an hour and a half, and goddamn it was like I'd never smoked before and had no tolerance. I was laughing out the wazoo during the first two blunts. By the third I was a lot more mellow and, because I was in my car and driving this time, I had a lot more time to think about it, as much as I tried not to. For the most part I was fine but when I got home I started feeling a little weird/shitty and was afraid I was gonna have a panic attack, so I took a Xanax. It gave me a terrible headache, but no panic attack.

the goat

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The following is my advice based on a years worth of expierence dealing with daily panic attacks and three years of dealing with drug induced psychosis...(it wasn't pot, but that caused it, but i won't say what did.)

---More is less.--- know your fucking limit!!! you CAN smoke to much! i'm not like other people i'm very sensitive to people's feelings, my surroundings, and how i feel...to much pot just creates to much sensory input for me, it's to much to handle. 1 toke is all i need to get high. I prefer to be pleasantly baked to being stoned out of my bejebus. so try just taking 1 decent sized hit or a couple of mediocre hits and just stop, wait for the subtle relaxation to sink in, don't get greedy. I've been toking daily for 5 years and i've learned what it takes to make the most of a bag. An everage eighth for me can last up to 3 weeks...and keep my high every hour of the day i'm not sleeping and not working. Not to mention the money i save.

---Set and setting VERY IMPORTANT--- I never smoke with people i don't know anymore. I'm not a people person and never have been. I only smoke in an environment i can be comfortable in. Smoke only with those u know and trust some one you can be real with and never smoke anywhere your even slightly uncomfortable. So i mostly toke alone or with very close friends and somewhere i can feel safe. Over time i've become more comfortable smoking in new places. Now, if im high, im even comfortable talking to my parents(when im too high though i'm uncomfortable around them...see for me how much i smoke can really make a difference...dose is important.)

-Don't be a slave to the fear!- Learn to calm yourself, learn to realize the onset of a panic attack without fueling it by worrying. It's kind of like a dog's choke chain. Once u go to far it starts to choke you, but the more u fight it the worse it chokes you. So take a seat, a deep breath, and talk yourself down in a calm manner. Realize u can't make it go away instantly, but you don't have to be a slave to the fear. Try to acheive "Calm Fear" this will take time to learn. Just keep fighting the fear, keep telling yourself the opposite of whatever your mind is worrying about. The fear of losing control is a very big part of panic, but if you learn to slowly find ways of regaining some control of yourself (breathing, repetitive movements, repeat something calming to yourself), you will gain power over thepanic by finding the parts of you that it doesn't have control over. If you feel like your losing your mind or going crazy then what your actualy doing is proving to yourself your not. Truely crazy people don't think they are crazy .

Also Jstoner...i'm no doctor and i'm not going to try to be, but i have researched alot on the internet. I discovered an article about a doctor who used vitamin B3 "Niacin" to treat a shizophrenic patient, I have started taking this vitamin myself, becuase it helps the body to metabolize andrenaline related compounds. I figured if B3 helps get rid of adrenaline it can only ease the fear of the panic by limiting it's fuel. I Can't explain it all here, but u could check out...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrenochrome...and you can also look it up on erowid...After i started taking the niacin it's almost a fuckin cure to it all. It could be placebo effect, but whether it is or isn't i'm going to continue to take the niacin and not risk finding out. I buy a bottle of it at walgreens. they have 250 MG time release capsules and at the very least if it doesn't do anything u only wasted a few dollars. THIS IS NOT A TREATMENT...it's just something i found to work for me thats all...not a cure nothing like that...for me it feels like it, but everyone's different, but again it culdn't hurt.

I Don't know your case though or anyone elses. All i know is i've been psychotic before, i've had more panic attacks than i can count, and after a year i've finnaly found a bit of well deserved peace. I still get a racing heart beat even if i think about something stressfull like getting pulled over or getting in a fight. Or if i get to excited playing a video game or something it will start up. However it's happened to me so much i can handle it most of the time.

so don't smoke so much. Keep in mind your set and setting. Learn the calm fear...try to just feel the fear without fighting it or letting it drag you farther than it already has.

I've been smoking daily for 5 years now. for me, in my mind, i wasn't gunna let all that shit stop me from doing what i love and am passionate about. although i will tell you this last year has been the hardest in my life, but i knew what i wanted and i did what i had to acheive it.

Things will play themselves out and the answer will come one way or another. And i know for me personally at the very worst even if i could never smoke pot again, I still am an avid supporter for legalization and will always try to be politically involved to help make that happen and end drug user discrimination. You will find an answer. Also, you got one thing going for you if you do have to quit for any amount of time. Pot isn't addictive. You may miss it like you miss an old friend, but u won't be fiending...trust me i decided to get addicted to ciggarettes cuz some girl i liked smoked them. I haven't talked to her in two years and i still suck that tobbaco ash down like it's honey. So good luck i know it's tuff...things will play out though.

All of this is what worked for me. Everyone's different, but by writing this i hope some one might find something usefull in it. peace...

As for the shizo stuff Jstoner...i haven't been shizo, but i have been psychotic and the pot doesn't bring me back into it. So be very carefull with that, is it a permanant change happening slowly? Or does it only happen when you smoke? if starts happening more and more STOP... but if the shizo only seems to happen when you toke..try toking very small amounts...instead of 3 blunts (if i smoked three blunts i would be in VERY VERY DEEP SHIT! I culd never get away with that nor would i want to try...more is less)

Good luck man and be carefull that mind is a precious thing.

 

shawn760

about 6 months ago in january i had a bad trip on a psycadelic. i had to to go to the hospital b/c my parents found me the next day in a state of delerium and psycosis couldnt talk and was seeing people and colors as tho they were real which of course they werent i remember a very little over the next few days. but i remember that trip vividly which is full of very dark and unpleasant thoughts. since then i had smoked only a few times. when i smoke i am thrown right back into this state and i jus hope someday it will go away or not be as bad. i am a true stoner at heart and now i cant enjoy being stoned without these feeling being slammed upon me. half the time i have to try and get rid of the thoughts and it its just not worth it. i am looking into it as of now, deal with my anxiety and panic attacks and being more comfortbale with my bad trip before smoking. do you think smoking more often would reduce these feelings? and when i drink and smoke i dont have these feelings its wierd

the dogsoldier

Just a quick reply to everyone here. I *am* a shrink and I can tell you that The Goat has given you the best advice. Also, DO NOT SMOKE while on Klonapin. Xanax is less problematic but hyper-toking in combination with any anti-anxiety/ antipsychotic medication is likely to aggravate any underlying psychiatric disorder, such as schizophrenia (any type), schizo affective disorder, and most of the anxiety/panic disorders. Concurrent use of antidepressants and pot are pretty safe, especially from the "prozac" family.

Basically, if you feel compelled to smoke like there's no tomorrow, there may not be. Get some professional help. You therapist CANNOT disclose your cannabis use by law, and if you are in a state that has legalized it for medical use, you are building a record in the progress notes that can be used as an affirmative defense. Finally, please read the sticky posted by the Admin regarding the panic attacks and psychotic phenomenon. It's pretty good.

LOWER THE DOSE OR LOSE YOUR MIND!