MssnDrk113

ive heard and read alot about anxiety from long term marijuana use, and shortly after a really bad high, but i have a differnt problem: im a social smoker. i started just at the beginning of this year and i only do it every other weekend or so. there came upon a time when i hadnt smoked in about a month and a half and my friend had just gotten some hydro. never had the stuff before, and i am an absolute lightweight. normaly it just takes a few hits of mids and im blown. Dont even remember how many hits i took of this stuff but it was more than i normaly take of mid's. so my friend goes to pack another bowl as im looking around the room thinking, yeah im getting there. then i take two steps to the other side of the room and suddenly i get this rush as if i stood up too quickly. in a second i forgot where i was, who i was, what was going on. i couldnt tell if i was dreaming or not. i thought maybe i was in hell or dying. i thought about my family and close friends, and i couldnt remember if they were real people or things i had dreamt or characters in a movie i saw or a book a read. then i thought to myself "wait a second, am i high?" then i remebered the bowl i had smoked just a few seconds ago and started to panic. my friend asked me something and i jsut stood there in shock. i just remember saying "i think i need to lie down" . i dont even know if you consider that a trip but it was horrible. the whole night went on with thoughts like taht. it was a constant anxiety attack that lasted about two hours. my skin felt like it was burning. i felt all this blood rushing to my head. i was afraid that it would drive me so insane that i would kill myself. so i just went to sleep to kill it. i had never been so scared in my life

when i woke up in the morning i was relieved to be back to normal and to be out of the "psychadelic world" in a way. i had that feeling as if i had come home after being away for weeks. aside from having fatigue for the next two days and feeling like i was still comming down, i was completely fine for about a month or so. Then one night i suddenly had a similar trip randomly. i was completely sober, and keep in mind, i had not smoked since i had that bad trip. i had another bad anxiety attack. i had these horrible thoughts outside of reality like why am i here, who am i, is this world even real? everyone has those thoughts but they seemed to just hit me all at once and i started panicing over them and i was flipping out. it was like a flashback to the trip i had a few weeks ago. it went away after about then minutes but when it was gone i just felt wierd after having those thoughts. for a while i had this paranoia over life and stuff. ive had a few more bad anxiety attacks/trips, if you would even consider that a trip. and remeber again, these happened when i was completely sober and i havent smoked in over a month. for the past week since that bad, random, sober anxiety attack ive felt fatique, on and off anxiety, loss of focus, massive depersonalization, trouble reading, and maybe psychosis. i dont really know how u verify that its psychosis, i havent had any hallucinations, just uncontrolable thoughts outside of reality. lately ive felt like i havent been able to conciously think to myself. its hard to describe, but its like i cant talk to myself inside my head. anyway i just wanted to know if it will go away or if anyone else has experienced it. to be honest its got me scared to death. ive looked up alot on it and everything suggests that the weed was laced, which im pretty sure it wasnt, or that ive done acid before, which i know i havent. ive read alot about how weed has never caused permanent mental damage, but im not sure how true it is. so please if youve experienced it let me know how or if you got through it and anything i can do to make it go away. i want to get it checked out by a doctor but i feel like he wont be able to help me at all unless i tell him that i was smoking, and i wont be able to do that without my mom standing right there. ive been taking B complex vitamins and St. John's Wort to keep me calm and to settle down my nerves. but in a way i still feel kind of out of it, and i still get depersonalization and anxiety. anyway, let me know what you think about it.

Buzzby

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. It sounds like your indulging in far too much powerful marijuana triggered a panic response and possibly an underlying anxiety disorder. What you're experiencing is obviously not a direct effect of marijuana or there would be millions of us wandering around in a panic. The acute effects of marijuana last for a few hours. People (especially newbies) sometimes experience a "hangover" that might last for a day or so.


According to your profile, you're 20 years old. There's no reason why your mom should have to go with you to see a doctor. Once you hit 18 your doctor cannot report your medical status to your parents without your permission.

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MssnDrk113

oh.... twenty... heh, yeah im 16 i was afraid that you had to be 18 to register to this site so i just threw down a random year lol. i should proabably change that. anyway, to add to my post, ive been looking at this site about people who had one bad trip and now they have depersonalization thats lasted their whole lives and honestly, its making me scared shitless, so if anyone can tell me a story of someone that recovered from this feeling that had never been present before they smoked weed, then i would feel extermely relieved to hear them. ive also noticed that its harder watching tv. i feel like i cant get the right focus on it. PLEASE someone give me some good news. can i change my age in my profile?

nerphroll

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Take some time off from marijuana to take it out of the equation but there's probably more beneath the surface here than just the pot. I encourage you to seek help from a professional if you continue to have problems despite staying away from pot.
I am also sorry but we have very strict guidelines around here regarding the involvement of minors. No one under 18 is allowed. This is clearly stated in the Posting Guidelines. Buzzby was not trying to trick you into revealing your age, just wondering why a twenty year old had to go to the doc with her mom, but you unfortunately spilled the beans. You are welcome to surf the site, no one can stop you from that, but you cannot be a registered member or poster.
Good luck.

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