hankthegreat

I am really hoping someone can help me out with this. I've been struggling with it for the past week or so, and I'll try to explain it to the best of my ability.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about college. I am pretty dependent on my mom, and I'm sort of scared about going away for college, like beign on my own, etc... This has really added some stress to my life, not to mention working EVERY SINGLE DAY, and having school work due, dealing with grades, etc. Also I'm sort of depressed, for reasons I really don't feel like sharing. Anyways. Lately I have been getting this really weird feeling, and I'm thinking it all ties into this stress and depression. The best way I can describe this "weird" feeling is its almost as if I am in a dream most of the time. Like I feel as if things aren't real, and if I'm not really here. I often wonder, "Is this real, am I really here?" Some of you may think I'm crazy, but I have a feeling I'm not the only one who has felt this, or at least I hope not. Sometimes I just get these sudden waves of fear, not very intense, but like I'm just sort of weirded out about something, but I don't really know what. Then the feeling of a dreamy state will come on. I can't seem to get this off my mind, and it's sort of scaring me. Like I think "Am I going crazy?" and then that makes me even more scared and the thoughts just pile up on themselves. Has anyone ever felt like this?

I am hoping this isn't too difficult to understand. If anyone has ever felt this way before, please post a reply. I'm not looking for criticism or anything, but I really am sort of weirded out by this. I'm trying to just stick it out and see if it goes away, and I hope it will. Thanks again...

weedzinger

Im going through the EXACT same thing. He summed it up in his post. I need help too. At one time, I thought I was an untreated schizophrenic. It was a very scary time for me, I thought I was going to hurt myself or someone close to me. Ive recently gotten a little better, but not much. I normally hold these feelings in and this has been really hard to type. This is weird. Possibly, I might be crazy. Maybe I need to be in a loony bin. Please dont think Im some crazy weirdo. I dont even know why Im typing this.

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weedzinger

That really makes me look like a nut. Maybe I just smoke to much of my hashish. Maybe not.

weedzinger

This should be in Health.

Panama

To the Health and Medicine forum.

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Bongineer

I can relate to what you guys are saying. I occasionally go through the same thing, but the last "episode" I had scared me pretty bad. I thought I was an undiagnosed schizophrenic also. It's like you don't know what your scared of really but you're afraid and completely weirded out by the feeling to the point of being more weirded out. During the period where I was feeling like this pretty much everyday I got ahold of some major sativa and I had my first "bad trip". VERY scary experience to say the least...
I get to feeling that way alot these days...

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Bongineer (bông'j-nîr)
"All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy."

BubblingBong

I have felt like this before. I feel lost or like I'm in over my head. I kind of step out of myself and freak out like "who the hell am I?" and "what the hell am I doing with my life" and "what do I want to do with my life?" I'm a freshman in college and I get scared that maybe I'm not doing things right and I'm afraid that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I think it's just part of growing up. Sometimes everything seems like a dream to me, or like I'm watching a TV show about myself. I think everyone goes through stuff like this and that eventually things will just fall into place. In the mean time, I try just to be true to myself because thats all I can do.

Examine everything in your life and make sure its either:
1. something you truely want to be doing (working out, smoking, sex, etc)
2. or something that will help you be or do what you want to. (I don't like going to class but I know my future depends on it)

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So much on my mind that it can't recline -- Blastin holes in the night til she bled sunshine -- Breathe in, inhale vapors from bright stars that shine -- Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline

hankthegreat

i feel sooooo much better now that i know there are other people feeling the same way that i feel. for some reason i really don't think that smoking is to blame for this. i have a hunch its just stress and that i can work through it. Bongineer, if you don't mind, what happened on your "bad trip"? i had a bad high probably like a month ago, and sometimes when i get freaked out i feel the same way as i did when i had the bad high.

on another note, my mom is a really religious person. i just came from sunday school and i am feeling so much better about things. i am a fairly religious person myself, and i do not think that smoking marijuana is harmful in any way, to my spiritual life or to my body. but, i think i'm going to tone down my smoking just a little bit and see if i can't work through this. i'm gonna try and clear my mind a little. thanks for replying guys this really makes me feel so much better...

weedzinger

I am of no religion. I still feel like crap. Im having really weird dreams. One was where I could sled UP hills (instead of down).

dialcg

Hey hankthegreat, don't get discouraged. When I was at the same point in my life that you are at now I had the same feelings. I even convinced myself I needed therapy, and went for a few (absolutely worthless) sessions. I think a lot of teens go through this as they are about to leave their parents home, it is a very big change in your life. Just try to maintain your friends, and even if you feel like nothing is real, go through the motions for a while- things will improve a lot once you have left home and gotten through the initial adjustment period. Try talking to some friends about it, sometimes just relating things like that can help.

I used to handle it by getting super ripped, but I am not sure that was healthy. Anyway, it only lasted like 4 months for me. (THe last 2 of my senior year in HS, and the summer before I started college).

Keep tokin'
Chris