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raegp1

I have been on Paxil (Andi-Depressant) for the
past 2 years now. For a while now I have been feeling like my life has no meaning to
it and it is not worth living. I sleep in too much and I avoid some friends and make
plans with people and then I never actually do them because I don't really care about
anything, even when I am on Paxil.


I have been diagnosed with depression in the past . I have been diagnosed with distimia
(depression) that Paxil controls to a point but I still always have my down times on Paxil
( I think that's called Manic depression? )

I have major Anxiety when I AM NOT on Paxil and I have suicidal thoughts when I am not on it.
( Suicidal thoughts --ex. Wondering what people would say if I died and overwhelming anxiety
just terrible thoughts and feelings.)

When I smoke marijuana with Paxil it elivates my mood that I am in. It gives me anxiety a little bit but I usually can control it on marijuana.

When I AM NOT on Paxil I avoid all of my friends and just sit home and have anxiety and worry
and usually never sleep or anything and have racing heart in public.

When I AM ON Paxil I can hang out with my friends , have fun, have no or very little anxiety,
I can control my terretts syndrome and depression better and understand the way things work
in this life.

When I AM ON Paxil It feels like I have very few REAL friends. I avoid some friends and I can't
talk to certain people very good(( ex. can't talk to people that I was friends with before I
started feeling my major depression and the friends I had for my whole life. I can still talk
to them and be friends with them but I can't talk to them as openly as I do to friends that
I made when I started taking Paxil.
Sometimes It feels like some of my friends just hang around me for certain things and I
just hang around them for certain things.

I first started feeling all of this in grade 8 and 9.( I was about 13-14) And then I was
perscribed Paxil when I was in grade 11 ( Now almost 16 years old) And now 2 years later I
am sitting here wondering what I could take with the Paxil to make things better and feel
COMPLETE and to cure my problems.
As of today I am doing a lot better ( Still on Paxil but I get down a lot but I still manage
to get by)

Here are some problems I am experiencing now :

I feel hopeless sometimes and worthless, like it's not worth living. Sometimes I'm unable
to go to keep up with responsibilities that are part of my daily life because I feel bad and
don't know why. Activities that I have always found pleasurable, sometimes are no longer
enjoyable. I sleep in a lot too and feel tired a lot (Paxil makes me tired but I usualy can
tell when I am tired because of
Paxil side effects) I eat all the time or always want to eat and I have terrets syndrome
attacks and OCD attacks sometimes when I get too worked up. I have a hard time concentrating
on like directions and etc. and have a hard time remembering simple things like appointments
and people's names. Jobs that used to seem simple now seem difficult . I avoid friends
sometimes and I have a hard time getting over trauma's and important things like what am I
goin ot do next year? or, how am I going to get work? or what I am going to do about my
education? etc.

I want to get help for these inherited problems that are for sure the MOST TERRIBLE PROBLEMS
IN THE WORLD and I feel sorry for anyone that has to go through this !

 

ganjalova420

Dude,

I'm around your age as well, its normal to feel worried about school and college. I really understand your depression because I've been almost the exact same way, although I was never prescribed any drugs.

Before I started smoking weed I hardly had any friends, I was extreley antisocial. I never, ever went to parties. Moreover I felt very uncomfortable around people I did not know well.

When I started smoking weed a year ago, all those stresses vanished. I don't really care what people think about me anymore, so I say what I feel like around people I don't know. I'm never uncomfortable around other people too. Weed has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I thought about trying Paxil(saw the ad on tv), but when I realized how much weed helps, there was no need to go see the shrink to get it prescribed.

If anything, try to smoke without taking the paxil, you'll probably feel better.

Peace

P.S. If you get too paranoid or anxious while high, take xanex or something, it really helps.

__________________
I'm not addicted, i just have nothing better to do...

PsychStoner

Ive been on paxil for a year now myself, I stopped taking it for about 4 days once, and i experienced intense pains in my brain, literally like i was going through heroin withdrawl....its called Paxil withdrawl though...so keep taking those pills until your doc weens you off. I think with the paxil, and MJ, your not in too good of shape. id hate to admit it but while your on paxil and other drugs, if you goal is to get better you need to stop smoking....it has strong effects on how those drugs you are prescribed are intended to work. Explain to you doctor that the paxil is not enough. He will most likly switch you to a coctail as its called, which is a combination of many drugs....i.e. Paxil, prozac and welbutrin.
Ive been where you are right now, and you'll make it. Just take your meds, dont let the anxiety get to you and surround yourself with real friends....family memebers and people close to you.

Good luck bro.


Peace

__________________
Mary Jane and Me, forever.

Greenman

Hey bro, sorry to hear about all the crap going on in your life. Before I go on, please remember that no one here is a doctor, so you may want to double check any advice you recieve here with your doctor to be sure it is the right thing to do for you, before you commit to anything.

The first thing that I think you should realize is you can't use any drug to feel complete. Because that is a false sense of completeness, and once the effects of the drugs wear off, you are back with the same problems that are responsible for the drugs in the first place. You and only you can achieve wholeness, and it is a struggle that everyone must go through. Its a life long process, because what makes you feel complete today, may not be enough tomarrow as circumstances change and such. Drugs can be useful in finding and implementing a solution to your problem, but they themselves do nothing to alleviate the underlying issues, such as feelings of worthlessness and lack of hope.


Depression is nasty. And alot of the symptoms that you have described sound to me like they are linked to the depression. Such as sleeping and eating a lot, lack of motivation, simple jobs becoming very difficult, and not being able to enjoy pleasurable activites like you should are all symptoms of depression. The only solution to these that I know of is to find the root of this depression and tear it out by the roots. Unfortunatly, the only person who can do this is you. You have to want to change and be willing to ask yourself the tough questions and listen to your answers, and don't settle for "I don't know". I don't know is the answer we give when we do know but don't want to deal with the answer for some reason. Either we get in trouble, or it drags up unpleasent thoughts or painful memories, and we would rather not have to deal with it. There is something that is causing the depression, and until you deal with it at its source, it will never go away.

Don't entertain the suicidal thoughts, that is not even an option so just put them out of your head and don't let them back in. Every life is sacred. We all have a purpose for being here, a lifes quest if you will. It is never something that we know, or could understand if we knew it. How could Jesus at the time when he was crucified possibly have understood the scope that sacrifice would have on the entire world for thousands of years. I mean, even if God came down and laid it all out for him, how could a man truely understand that kind of scope? I am not one to bring religion in my posts, and I did not cite Jesus for his religious undertones, but more of that one person's death and the ramifacations that it had. We all have the strength to do that, even if we don't realize it or refuse to acknowledge it. But we all have it.

People don't have a LOT of REAL friends. They may have a lot of aquaintences and people they hang around with, but not REAL friends. People that would drive 2 or 300 miles to give you 100 bucks to get your car outta the shop or things like that. That is what makes the real friends so special, above the aquaintences in your life. As I sit here typing to you, I have 3 REAL friends and probably upwards of 30 aquaintences. But those three people I would do anything for, and they would do the same for me. You don't need that many when that is the mindset.

Also, understand that it is perfectly normal for you to want to be around people who have had simular experiences as yourself. And whenever a major life event happens, your circle is going to change because there are people that can just no longer relate to your background, or do not want to put forth the effort to do it. And there is nothing wrong with that, it is just the normal flow of life. Depression will make you even more reclusive than normal however, and is one of the reasons why you need to get to the root of the problem. Perhaps join a support group, that way you are around people who share the same major experiences as you. You may discover that there are others who feel the same way as yourself. And there is a great strength in that knowledge. It gives you someone on the inside to talk to, one who understands it the same way you do, as a patient living through it, not a doctor treating it.

I hope this helps. I am pullin for ya rae. Have faith in yourself, and trust that you are strong enough to get through this B.S.. And just remember above all else, you are never dealt anything that you cannot handle. It might stretch your capabilities, but you can always handle anything given to you. Growth is a painful process, but when you look back over it, its a road you will be happy you traveled, and overcame.

Peace.

__________________
Some will never open their eyes. Some will have them opened for them. Some will see light, some won't be able to stand the brightness and will turn away. -Robin Prosser's Diary Day 23 -- Please read our Posting Guidelines for questions on our policies.

.........

I know of at least one physician who will NOT prescribe anti-depressants unless the person is seeing a therapist regularly. This is really a good idea if you can find one you are comfortable with and if you can pay for it (insured or otherwise). Unfortunately, the PDR is unavailable right now, so I can't check--but does Paxil have any unusual side-effects? Do they warn of any interactions with MAO inhibitors? Ask your doctor.

Regards,
-1

 

tennstash

hang in there rae,life gets better with age(i'm 45). I also fight depression and have tried several "legal" anti-depressants over the years. I have smoked herb for about 24 years but had to stop because of drug testing policies at work( currently looking for better employment). Smoking herb solved my depression for years because it made me feel good about myself and my accomplishments(although I toked because it was fun).When I quit smoking I noticed strange thoughts about death,my usefulness in life, total lack of motivation and a defeated attitude. I tried paxil at the recommendation of my Dr. but it had to many side effects.I was put on the drug"rollercoaster" (trying several different ones over a year long period) and was feeling bad until I was put on celexa. Of all the ones I have tried it works the best.I had to ask my Dr. about it because she had not been prescribing it but it works for me. Be sure to tell your DR.what you are feeling and take care of yourself. Life gets better as you get older and when we get herb legalized we can all feel better.Cannabis is a wonderful medicine ,at least that's my personal experience. After all, isn't that what it's all about?

suede

Anytime you feel the need or just the want to !!! P.M. me. add me to your buddy list.......and if you have icq.you can just buzz on in.....you are welcomed anytime .suede

__________________
End World Hunger

stavia hippie

i know just how you feel, i am stressed out also.

i used to be depressed 100% of the time, then i killed the part of myself that i didnt like. woke up like a new person. may sound odd, and it is and i cant go into detail here and now. but i still know where your coming from.

i still feel like my life is going no where and i will be nothing but a bum when i grow up. but that is a part of life, now i just accept it and move on.

i hope you feel better in the days to come.


peace,

mexican dirt weed

i too have depression and i was on paxil for a couple months and i felt like a zombie didnt want to do anything now i'm on celexa and trazadone you have to goto youre councler and see what pill works best for you eventually u will find a good one i have never felt better i am actually more social and energetic and plus its fun to be stoned again wish yah luck man

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dirt weed yah!

auntmary

good luck raegp1 man

some thought-provoking sad sorta song just came on the radio and i almost cried reading that.

just remember man, wotever happens, you can always get help.

if you absolutely NEED to be on medication for the rest of your life to live normally, then so be it. better to have lived happily than to have lived in a depressed state.

good luck man, i feel for ya... i really do.