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TheDude0306

OK I will try to give you this story as quickly as possible.

I have 2 medical problems that are uncureable. I take medication that is supposed to help with the symptons but its not a cure, and there is no known cure to both of my problems. Would rather not get into detail about them, but lets just say, I look and act completly normal. You could never ever tell that something was wrong with me, if you ever approached me.

But having both of these medical problems can be painful at times, both physically and mentally. They limit me from lots of normal day things, I normally would like to do, such as dating and having a relationship.

I am going to tell you what 1 of my medical problems is, if you laugh and make fun of me I could care less, but I am really am being serious and asking your advice.

I live with a cronic disorder called IC. It's a cronic irriratation of the bladder lining. A person with my disease, has frequent trips to the bathroom. Somedays you can feel some what normal, and somedays you have to go every 15 to 20 mins. Besides the frequent trips to the bathroom, there is extreme burning and pain, imagine holding your pee for like 2 hours, after you go you feel relief, well after I go I still have the same pain and burning. There is only one known medication out and it is supposed to build up the lining of your bladder over years of use. In some people it works 100% some people it only works a little, and some people it doesnt work at all. I would say after 4 years of being on it, I feel about 50% better. And because of this medication I can maintain a crappy part-time job.

Stress also causes my condition to severly worsen. I have always been a shy and nervous person. So when trying to date, my condition worsens and becomes very severe, and embarssing. Even going out with friends to any place thats more then 15 mins away causes extreme anxiety, and in turn causes my condition to get even worse. At the age of 26 my life truly sucks.

I have been sick for 9 years, and finally within the last 2 years I have become extremly depressed. I started smoking WEED about 7 months ago. Let me tell you I LOVE IT, and ENJOY IT VERY MUCH.

It helps ease the pain I feel both physically and mentally. It makes me very happy. I esp love to get stoned and play very high-intese 3-D shooter games against other people online. When stoned you feel as if your in the game. And this is some escape for me, some fun I can have in my pathetic life. I also love checking out cool trippy screen savers while stoned and playing some great tunes its just fantastic. If you get a chance check out www.larrycarlson.com this WILL FREAK you out. I beleive the site is geared towards a person tripping on either LSD or MUSHROOMS, but I don't do that. The only drug I have done and will ever do is MARIJUANA.

OK now you know a little about me, and my main reason for smoking weed. It helps me escape my boring, depressing life. I have to live with a medical problem, that is ruining my everyday life, and there is no cure for it. I would rather not go into detail about the other problem, lets just say its closely related.

Like I said I have been very depressed about my medical problem, and within the last few months I started smoking weed heavly. I always imagined my HEART-RACING upon coming up on the weed, but this usually is how most people feel, and infact weed does raise your heart-rate. I only feel the racing upon coming up, and after about 10 to 15 minutes I feel better. I also find having a few beers before smoking helps VERY much to lessen the anxiety of feeling my heart pound.

I guess what I am trying to say is, if I am drunk
I don't get the severe anxity and feeling like my heart is going to explode, probably because I am drunk! The problem is I have to be really drunk, before smoking. So this is not always possible, for one it really makes my bladder condition worse, and two, I cant be getting totally smashed just because I want to smoke some weed, once in a while OK, but not everytime. I also get less out of the stone if I am totally smashed and I seem to miss things that could have been enjoyed if I was STONED SOBER.

Well about 1 week ago, I had something devastating happen in my life. I won't get into details, but let me just say, that I lost something VERY DEAR to me, and being that I really don't have many things that make me happy this put me over the edge. It was very sudden and unexpecting, so it it was quite shocking. Being sick all the time, and then this really upset me.

The remaining week after what happend I smoked HEAVLY almost atleast twice a day for almost 2 weeks straight to help ease the MENTAL breakdown I thought I was going through.

One night after the not smoking for about 4 days, I felt my heart pounding. It felt like it was pounding out my chest. This bothered me a bit, because I was born with a heart murmer, but at the age of 18 after lots of tests I was told my heart was fine, and that the murmer was nothing to worry about. I am now 26, and havent had the heart checked out since.

Well after feeling like this on and off for 5 days, I felt sick, and breathless. Finally on night 5, I had my parents take me to the Emergency Room. When I arrived I could barely breathe. They hooked me up to a machine and told me my heart rate was 180 beats per min. The normal is between 80 and 90. I felt like I was going to die. Never in my life, did I ever have any other health problem, or have to go into the hospital for anything. So you can imagine I was freaking out when I had to go. The kept asking me if I did any drugs, and I said no, because I would have rather died, then admit to doctors IN FRONT OF PARENTS that I smoke weed. Even though I am 26, I still must hide it.

They started me on some kind of IV, brought me back down, did some blood tests, and sent me home 4 hours later.

Now 2 weeks later, my chest still sore, I went to a cartalogist to have a complete cartagram etc, etc.

Still waiting for the results at this time, but I feel 100% back to normal, and I hope I just had a small nervous breakdown or something.

I also talked to my doctor and he put my on a anti-depressent called elavil. This drug is popular for people who have to live with my condition. I tryed for 8 years to fight this problem, but I think it finally made me physically sick, because of the severve depression.

OK FINALLY HERE IS MY QUESTION : I am very afraid to try and smoke weed again. I know when I feel the heart racing upon coming up, that I am going to be so worried that I probably won't even enjoy my stone.

I am certainly afraid to smoke from the last BIG batch I bought, because now I think it might me laced. I think my heavy weed smoking and severe depression, plus the devastating thing that happend to me, ALL of it combined could have caused the episode that sent me into the ER.

Or could have the heavy weed smoking alone caused it?
Again I do have some paranoia when very stoned, (remember I am somewhat a nervous person) buts its fun to me, and one min I may be freaking about something stupid and the next minute I relize how dumb it was to be freaking.

I find, now after feeling normal for almost 3 weeks, no more chest pain, and being on the anti-depressents for the last 2 weeks, I feel pretty good. I still must deal with my 2 medical problems that really suck, but atleast my heart doesn't feel like its going to explode.

I want to smoke again, Not a lot this time around, but just a little for pure entertainment. Like I said earlier I really don't have much in my life, so I really enjoy getting stoned. I also feel a lot better now mentally (these anti-depressents do work well) and I find that although I have to deal with my medical conditions, I find that I am more happy now. Its terrible to be in phyiscal pain, but there are those few days that I feel very good, and tonight is one of them.

I am DYING to smoke again, but I am so afraid that it will cause my heart rate to sky-rocket and basically GET stuck like it did last time. I cannot blame the weed, in itself, because a lot happened to me, and there was severe depression during the time of heavy smoking.

Do you think I should giveup weed all-together? Really would hate to. Tonight I packed my bowl, looked at it, and chickened out, instead I'm having an ice-cold beer.

Will not drink that much, because I noticed it ruins the effects of the anti-depressent I am on. As a matter of fact I didnt even ask, CAN I SMOKE WHILE ON ANTI-Depressent?

Thanks for ready, and advice would be great, If your just going to flame please don't bother responding. Im looking for some advice. Thanx again.


I ALSO WONDER NOW THAT I MORE MENTALLY HAPPY, WILL I EVEN ENJOY MY STONE MORE? EVERTIME I SMOKED I WAS ALWAYS FEELING DOWN AND DEPRESSED, MAYBE NOW I WOULD EVEN ENJOY THE STONE MORE???

Thanx for reading.

 

CharlesRIFQ

The burning in your chest, it's the greatest feeling in the world. It's the same feeling you get when you see the girl that melts your heart. Only your tingleling all over and comfortably numb.

DaisyCrazy

Yes your mentality effects the high as much as the biochemistry of the drug itself (I love saying that). What I'd do in your situation is just smoke the littlest amount possible to get you mildly stoned and not blasted. Also, what is your weight and health like now. A healthier body is known to function better. If smoking too much was the culprit, then just lower the dosage. That's real ****ty, your situation. It's hard and to get you by you need a companion. Mary will be there when friends won't.

Also, smoking on an antidepressant probably won't effect you like alcohol does. Since alcohol's is a depressant it's obviously counteracting the antidepressant. I really don't know much but I'm good at making educated guesses.

One more thing... There was a recent post where a guy was also in your type of situation. He was also very stressed and his parents took him to the ER. You should probably take the time to try to find it and hopefully will be enlightened.

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Greenman

I would venture to say that alcohol is worse to mix with the anti-depressents than marijuana. Next time you get your doctor alone, perhaps you should bring this up to him.

I had a friend of mine with IC, and I know it can be a very uncomfortable thing. The Anitriptilin that she took would knock her out about 10 O'clock every night, so late night parties were right out the window. Other than that though, she tried not to let the desiese control her life. It is something that you are going to have to live with, and feeling bad about it isn't going to make the problem go away, and will only succeed in making the depression worse. If you life sucks, then you need to change something about it to make it not suck anymore. Excersize your controle over your life.

Most people will understand the need to go to the bathroom, expecially when you let them know of your medical condition. It is not something that you did to yourself, but rather just happened. There is no shame in that. All the people my friend hung around, and she was a social butterfly of sorts, were all cool about her problem, and didn't even poke fun at it when she wasn't there.

Humor man, you have to find humor in the things that you can't controle. If you don't, you give the IC and everything else controle over you. And that is not a good way to live. Paraplegics climb mountians, that is an example of someone who does not let what happened to them controle their lives.

Get out and do something, the exerize and stress relief will do your heart wonders. Don't focus so much on the negative, instead search for something positive. If your outlook on life is no longer working for you, which it sounds like it isn't, then you need to change your outlook. The body follows the mind.

Without knowing any more specifics than what you have given us, there isn't much else to say. Although I wouldn't worry to much about being flamed on these boards. Marijuana.com is built around civility, and sometimes it breaks down, but for the most part, the staff here manages to keep it civil. Flames, expecially in this area, are not tollerated. They are counterproductive to an intellegent discussion and are not welcome here.

Alcohol, Sodas, Citrus Fruits and anything with citric acid is going to make the IC worse. Anything that is a diuretic is going to aggitate the IC. Keep an eye on what you drink and where you drink at, as that has a direct relationship to how many times you will need to go to the bathroom. And have faith in peoples ability to understand the problem. If they can't, then that is their problem, not yours.

Peace.

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KWhite

I study herbal medicines, many of them in use for thousands of years.
For your stress, and peace of mind, try Ginseng tea, it really does work.
As far as the marijuana, try it one hit at a time, I would also say, you are probably going to lose the alcohol forever. Just my opinion however.
Looking through my books, I see a couple of things which might help. garlic and echinacea for the bladder, either together or alone as capsules. I would most likely NOT try the echinacea, as it tends to aggravate your heart problem.
St. Johns wort works very well with marijuana, the thing about the wort, it needs to be taken as a tea 3-5 times daily, and its calming, stress relieving effects are apparent after 3-4 weeks, needing time to affect the brain. Blueberry and or cranberry juices are also supposed to help in the GENERAL area of your bladder.
As far as your shy nature, set and setting are VERY important to marijuana.
If you feel you are in a safe place, then the paranoia has a lesser chance of affecting you.
This may be waaaay out in the country, with no one around for miles, or in your basement.
The mind is a strange thing, believe me, it matters where you smoke and how comfortable you feel in that place.
It is the normal tendency to ascribe the ill feelings to marijuana, but what I would recommend is a one hitter, or a pipe, taking a puff and then allowing a full five minutes to pass before you take another, slowly building the niveau of your high to a level you like.
If you then do not feel any discomfort, odds are the alcohol, and your stress were a major part of the problem.
Also, your doctor is required to maintain a Doctor/patient confidentiality, ask him or her about your marijuana use, be aware, many older doctors are just as ignorant of the herbs effects on the body as dare officers, and will not give you a true opinion, I suggest a doctor under 45 if you can find one.
Now lets talk about a few other things.
Greenman said it very well my friend.
Wake up one morning, just one morning, and think of what a wonderful life you have, and it will change you forever.
This most likely belongs in spiritual aspects, but I am going to write it here, as it seems you need an answer NOW.
I follow the ways of my ancestors, the Cherokee and shawnee tribes, those ways, that perspective, saved my sanity.
I had a pretty hefty disc operation, lost my career, job, 4 kids to feed and a friend letting us live free in his home, feeding MY kids.
Believe me hoss, I know a bit about stress.
There was no drug which changed me, none whatsoever, I was near suicide, even while realizing what a bad solution that is.
I learned to take a deep breath and look at all of the things I still have! And found I had more than my misery would ever let me see.
those things are there for you also.
I really did not come here to bare my soul, but you struck a chord in me, I just went through the second operation, one I had hoped would never come, but you know, life is still good, perhaps even better.
I urge you to go out, on a moonlit night, and simply look at the moon, taking nice deep slow breaths, and count.
count those things you cherish, and those things which hinder you, and then, balance them one against the other.
Perception is the reality my friend, I wish you health and peace of mind, and the knowledge to accept, what you cannot change, to change what you can, if it is the path indicated.
Be well
Kelly

__________________
"Your mind is your own, your body as well, from the soul we need not speak, tend it well, making those decisions you deem worthy, aware all responsibility is in your hands when the smoke clears" Kelly L. White

"It is a principle of natural justice that when bad men make bad laws, or when unprincipled authorities compromise good ones, citizens are justified in protecting themselves from the very authority that compromised law and order." Gandhi

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HillBilly

Howdy Dude!!1

Ok brother.. where to start? Everyone has brought a good bit of enlightenment for you. May I also add that woth your history of anxiety and that nature. It sounds to me lik e an anxiety attack was the episode you had. And I assume you're on some medication for that. Elavil would be one of those that could help. Like everyone else said, when you're taking medicines that affect the central nervous system, one of the last things you want to do is drink alcohol.

Do I think merijuana could possibly influence another anxiety attack? yes, definitely.

Do I also think you need to take control of your life, and the high? yes, definitely.

Will you live through another toke session? yes, definitely.

Just go with it, brother...

~~hb

Lymelady

The Dude,

I also have a chronic medical condition that is greatly helped by smoking, and would like to offer you some of my experiences.

First of all, you need to understand that simply having a "medical condition" puts undue stress on the body. This is another one of the "invisible" stresses. Adding the day to day stresses of life, births, deaths, good news, bad news, etc......Can send you into a tailspin!
Get over the fact that what you have is not "curable" & congratulate yourself for having found the medical benefits of marijuana!
You say that stress worsens your condition...Of course it does! But you must understand that you are creating much of it yourself. I mean no disrespect....BELIEVE me! You describe what I went thru 19 years ago to a "T"!

When I read your post I was taken aback by how much "worry" you managed to express. I'd venture to say that you are pretty intelligent, but have spent the majority of your life trying to please others. (major source of invisible anxiety) You have found something to help your physical condition...but you somehow feel "guilty". All of this adds to your internal stress!

You spoke of your heart racing and going to the hospital....done that too! It is very possible that you suffer from a chemical imbalance. (I do!) When the body goes thru stress (mental, physical, emotional) certain hormones & brain chemicals can be affected.
I have a seretonin imbalance and must take zoloft...like a diabetic has to take insulin. When I don't take it for a few days...my heart starts to race & beat irregularly. (most can go off of the meds after a year or so & the brain usually starts producing it again) and I can have a full on anxiety attack. THAT is what you describe!
The fact that you say alcohol "relaxes your body" and you don't get the crazy heart beat if you drink and then smoke, leads me to believe you have a chemical imbalance.

OK...this is important! It sounds to me like you have convinced yourself that pot is going to make your heart race. I did this too and did not smoke for 7 years!
Try this: have a couple of hits, sit back and try to relax. Stop the negative guilt thoughts and focus on your breathing.

Another suggestion is to stop trying to get "high" to escape reality. If the "reality" is that smoking helps your condition...you gotta stop worrying what people would think (like your parents!) and help educate people that the medicinal benefits are there!
Anyway Dude, if you would like to speak to me privately on these issues, or if there is anyway I can help? Please let me know!
Anxiety disorders are the pits...but pot doesn't "cause" anxiety!
Let me know what's up with you

Acquiesce

maybe this stem cell science will be perfected and we can smoke our brains out ,then we just go and get a brand new set of cells to repair the body