freetheweed

i saw Rob Zombies "House of 1000 Corpses" yesterday stoned and HOLY ****! It was one of the most intense (not scary, intense) and funniest movie ive ever seen. OK, so heres what happened:

I got a quarter from my dealer and my cousin and I head up to the theatre. While waiting for 4:20 (thats the time the movie started, im not joking), we smoked a 3 joints, and were pretty baked. So at 4:15, we went up and got our tickets, which we slurred out "2 for house of a 100, i mean 1000 corpses" Do you know how hard it is to say corpses while stoned? Any way we got in, watched the movie, and i gotta say it was the most intense and funniest movie ive ever seen.

Clown:You ring that bell one more tim ima come in there and chop your fukkin balls of- oh, hi officers!

Officer: (Holds up pic of girl) Have you seen this girl?

Clown: Oh, uh, no. But shes not my type, you know, i like more meat..more coushion for the pushion ya know... ( does humping motion)



Hey i know you! Back in school they called you needle dick!

Shut up!

Needle Dick Needle Dick, allways playing with his prick!

(Takes mask off) SHUT UP!

PUT YOUR MASK BACK ON!

(clown laughs)

OK, you fukk, i giving you 10 seconds to hand over the cash, before i decide to put your brains over the state line!

Fukk your mother!

10

fukk your grandfather!

(Suddenly, a person in a mask bust in, hitting both robbers with an ax, one robber is still alive. Clown picks up his gun and steps on his chest, and points it at his head)

and most of all, **** you!

(gun shot and screen goes black)

goddammit, i got blood on my best clown suit!

(Main credits roll)


some of my fav scenes